ElizabethB Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Short story...I fall for someone I should not. We kept in touch for 18 month - LDR, became intimate after it. He played hot and cold game all the time but I wanted him anyway. He was not perfect but I would give everything for having him in my life. After all, he made me feel that whatever happened was my fault, he made me feel guilty and now I cannot stop blame myself and asking if I did not do this or did that, maybe he would feel same way about me. When he got cold before, I always called, or emailed to him...Now it's been more than 5 weeks and I am doing nothing. I feel like rejection and harsh attitude towards me would be bigger pain than not knowing how he is doing or if he already forget my name. It hurts a lot. What to do? Should I contact him and make at least friends? I miss him in my life badly... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eocsor Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 I know you are hurting and lonely but why would you want someone in your life who made you feel so bad. Being friends with someone you still love never works. It just leads to more pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
journeynow Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 I think it's common to second-guess ourselves after a break up. It's painful, though, because it keeps us focused on the past which we are helpless to change, and probably doesn't move us toward healing. I've heard it likened to trying to drive forward by watching the rearview mirror. It's not very useful, at least at this point. Maybe we get to a point where we can objectively (and painlessly?) review what we learned, but that probably comes later after we've significantly healed. Focus on your strengths now, and your stronger, better, healthier self in the future (or your desired destination/state-of-mind). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted November 14, 2011 Author Share Posted November 14, 2011 So true. I love what you said about trying to drive forward by watching the rear view mirror. I am going to remember that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butterflyburn Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Wow, hold your horses right there. Is that man and the way he is treating you what you think you deserve? U have gone without him for 5 weeks. He knows how to find you but has not bothered. Take those glasses off only then can u sob over your illusion and start the path to healing. Good luck. I am doing it now, so can you. Trust me, u are looking for a quick fix. Make contact with him and u will have wasted your 5 weeks and shall be back to feeling frustrated, agitated and confused Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KYRiverGrl Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 You deserve better than a hot-and-cold guy. You need someone who appreciates YOU and who does everything in his power to meet your needs. 5 weeks NC is awesome -- you're doing great. Sooner or later (hopefully sooner!) you will quit missing the cad! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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