Its almost been a month:

[notimeman]

For more information, my original post is here.

 

Tomorrow will be the day that a month has passed since our breakup. If you read my original post you'd know that for all intents and purposes I've successfully the steps necessary to move on. I haven't begged or pleaded, I've been civil and understanding, and I've only broken contact a week after the breakup to ask her our for coffee. I've done well for myself and there were moments that I felt like I could get through this, but I've hit the bottom again. She hasn't once attempted to contact me (likely because her friend keeps her from doing so) but I wonder if she truly cares so little of me that she's just moved on, or perhaps if she's waiting for me to attempt contact myself.

 

I feel empty. She's the woman I gave my virginity to, the woman I felt that was special enough to give something society considers so valuable and I don't regret it. I just feel like with every day she's slipping further and further away from me. I defriended her on facebook after she didn't respond to my first and only contact and now I feel like I've made a mistake. Did I push her away? Does she feel like I don't want her? For that first week we both had the pictures of each other together, still displayed there like important plaques of our situation.

 

I've been struggling with sending her a message:

 

 

Hey, K. Its already been a month since we've ended our relationship and your lack of contact has displayed to me an unwillingness to reconcile. I just wanted to send you this message to let you know that I haven't been striding along like nothing has happened. Its been tough. I never want you to think that you were ever a passing thought. I truly loved you, and still do, and losing what we had has come as one of the hardest blows I've ever come to face. I've been working hard on myself. I have a job now and I'm doing well in school. I'm learning to be happy with me as the individual.

 

It hurts me to think of all the trouble I've caused for you, but I hope you're also thinking about all the good times we've had. We had a chemistry that was miraculous. As long as we were together, we always found a way to make each other happy. I miss you, K, and will always consider you my #1.

 

P.S: I've read through the entire series. With every page drawn I'd always hear "'arry Potter. 'arry Potter." in my head (in your voice, of course).

 

Much love,

A.

 

 

Help me get through this fellow members...I'm very tired of crying.

[learning2relax]

Don't send it.

[elastic]

Learning is right.

 

Sending this message will not help you heal. She can't tell you anything or give you any answers that will help at the moment, unfortunately.

[notimeman]

I know. I won't. But it felt good writing it.

[Trevor Vaughn]

I feel your pain, truly I do. The girl I loved and lost my virginity to cheated on me and is now with another guy. It's hard at night and in the morning... but you gotta be strong at all times. I was with her for 5 years and I was engaged to her, we were high school sweethearts but she's lost who she was somehow. Idk if she'll ever straigten out but you do need to let go. Try flirting with other girls, it's only been 4 days of NC and I've already been trying that and it helps. Make friends, go out of your comfort zone to do so. I was always very reserved and quiet and didn't often initiate contact with others, but now that's what I'm doing because I know I'll just die depressed if I don't. I don't know you, but honestly I know you can be tough enough to get through it. We all can, just need reassurance and words from people who've been there and done that

[Acrylamide]

I just hit the 3 month mark a few days ago. She broke up with me on the first of august and it still bothers me. I've managed to stop crying, but thoughts and memories still linger from time to time.

 

She never contacted me. I broke NC to ask her for lunch, but she told me she was busy. It was obvious that she didn't want to see me. So I did NC for about 11 weeks. Broke it to ask if she wanted her umbrella that she left me in my car that I found. She told me to drop it at one of her friend's place. Once again, she obviously didn't want to see me.

 

But yeah, do not send that letter. I understand what you're going through and everything just seems so unfair right now.

 

Until there's a better tomorrow, I wish you luck in your recovery.

 

Cheers mate.

[Jon Lane]

Hey guys. I'm just new here. I 've got the same problem as you fellas. I'm still struggling with the acronyms (NC is No Contact, right?)

Anyway, I've been collecting info about trying to win your ex back. I don't know if you guys knew about this, but aside from the NC rule, there seems to be a "Second Chance Letter" that's available that works well with NC. Basically, it's a short hand-written letter you could write to your ex at the onset of NC that creates an emotional void in them. Ultimately, it makes them question themselves about their decision to break up with you. It plays with their mindset and hopefully makes them want to take you back.

Any thoughts on this? I was well on the way of making one.

[learning2relax]

Hey guys. I'm just new here. I 've got the same problem as you fellas. I'm still struggling with the acronyms (NC is No Contact, right?)

Anyway, I've been collecting info about trying to win your ex back. I don't know if you guys knew about this, but aside from the NC rule, there seems to be a "Second Chance Letter" that's available that works well with NC. Basically, it's a short hand-written letter you could write to your ex at the onset of NC that creates an emotional void in them. Ultimately, it makes them question themselves about their decision to break up with you. It plays with their mindset and hopefully makes them want to take you back.

Any thoughts on this? I was well on the way of making one.

 

False hope in my opinion.

[Day88]

Hey guys. I'm just new here. I 've got the same problem as you fellas. I'm still struggling with the acronyms (NC is No Contact, right?)

Anyway, I've been collecting info about trying to win your ex back. I don't know if you guys knew about this, but aside from the NC rule, there seems to be a "Second Chance Letter" that's available that works well with NC. Basically, it's a short hand-written letter you could write to your ex at the onset of NC that creates an emotional void in them. Ultimately, it makes them question themselves about their decision to break up with you. It plays with their mindset and hopefully makes them want to take you back.

Any thoughts on this? I was well on the way of making one.

 

Mate I don't want to seem to put a downer on this idea but nothing can MAKE someone come back, and if they did it would be for the wrong reasons. She needs to want to come back, I know it's hard I thought about writing, emailing and texting to tell her how I felt but it will only drag the pain out giving yourself hope that she'll reply and if she doesn't it'll crush you all over again.

 

The only time I think you can really contact them is if they do it first and only if they genuinely want to reconcile. NC is the only way forward if you want to move on and it needs to be used as an aid for you to move on not an attempt to win someone back.

 

Like I said I don't want to put a downer on it. I wish you the best mate and I hope there can be a reconciliation on the cards for you