espress Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 I made contact with an ex, from many years ago. A series of events brought her into my thoughts, and so I figured, why not reach out. One never knows, right? She wants to meet up, in a few days. She asked me, I never brought up getting together. We haven't seen each other for years. We haven't spoken for years either. I was deeply and profoundly in love with this woman, but was too young and inexperienced to make a proper go of it. The breakup was mutual, because we couldn't handle the intensity of the feelings we had for each other. At the time, we were really both in over our heads. The breakup was heartbreaking, as most are, but we agreed we'd meet up again later in life. We both moved on, and dated others for a time. I am single now, and open to the possibilities. I do not want to blow this opportunity. Advice very much appreciated!
figur Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 just enjoy yourself and don't get wrapped up in expectations! maybe you'll both realize there is still chemistry, maybe only one will feel it...there's no way to know at this point. just take this as an opportunity to catch up with an old friend.
learning2relax Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Don't worry about what to do or how to act. Treat this as you would getting back in touch with any other friend. Visit. Catch up. You have no idea that the person that you knew years ago is still that person that you will meet today. You could meet up with her and find that you are no longer attracted. Setting expectations for the visit will only create disappointment. It could be disappointment that she is not the same person you knew. It could be that you realize that you do not find yourself attracted to her the way you once did. It could be that she is unavailable for a relationship. It could be that she is available but not interested. My point is it could be a myriad of reasons. You should go into this simply looking forward to reconnecting with an old friend. Nothing more, nothing less. And if anything happens from there - it is something you can explore at the time or afterwards. Expectations are what let us down. Try to do your best not to create any and that way you can enjoy the visit - regardless of the outcome. It has been years.......catch up on what has gone on since you last spoke. Have a nice time.
happymeboy Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Whatever you do, don't get too emotional talking about the past, you got to show you moved on. Stay relaxed and try to be fun having around, some one fresh and sharp. Do not talk much about you but ask about her, ladies love that kind of attention, they love to tell you about their lifes and what has been going on, so show interest and react to her stories (in a positive way ). And do not forget best and biggest compliment at the beginning when you see her "you look woow" or " you look fantastic" anything to boost her ego and that is that, then go back to normal, same level. And keep smiling all the way, we all like to have good vibes around us. NO FLOWERS or any other kind of gifts!!! Don't cross your arms, do not cross your legs or any other thing that connotes tension. If you can, change your hair style to show some subtle change (only if it looks nice). Perfume!!! cut your nails. No white socks and dont shave (1 or 2 days beard looks awesome!). What else ? Mmmmhhhh...do not forget to write back and see how that went down
espress Posted November 10, 2011 Author Posted November 10, 2011 this morning she texted me cancelling, she said she has to be out of town that day she didn't suggest another day I texted back 'ok, cool, take care' what do I do now? nothing? did I handle this well?
sonypirates Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 I think "take care" is too much of a brush off and can be taken wrong but too late now.
happymeboy Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 I don't agree, i think he replied with the right answer, short and polite. No bitterness nor did he sound desperate to get a date.BRAVO!! What to do now ? Nothing. I wouldnt recommend you to sit and wait for her to come back to you on next date, keep moving forward, meet new ladies, just dont go chasing her to make new appointment cuase if she interested she will get back to you (and if you are still interested, of course). So tonight get ready yourself and see how lucky you get out there just dont sit down waiting!!
espress Posted November 11, 2011 Author Posted November 11, 2011 I don't think I'll contact her again. She has my number if she has enough interest to contact me again. Cancelling right away like that is pretty flaky anyway. I am not convinced she was sure about seeing me. If she actually does want to reconnect, I think it's up to her now to make a move. I'm not going to hold my breath though.
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