Notagoodninja Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 This is EXACTLY what I do, haha! I'm so emotionally open, not just romantically but with everything. But it takes me a long time and a lot for me to fall in love usually, this last relationship was completely unlike anything I have experienced before, a complete whirlwind. But I still love him very much and I think if I was to "meet" someone online and maybe in time meet them in person, I would still feel like I was emotionally cheating on the ex in some ways, and I would be comparing the new person to him. So I don't think I'm ready to "date" yet, not for a long time. Maybe I should look at the people I do already know and start building up those friendships? I do know a lot of people but most I would describe as acquaintances rather than friends. It's funny but...I was sitting here reading everyone's posts and noticing a few qualities we all seem to share in common for the most part............ We are romantic people....................................including the men on here...we are all a bunch of hopeless romantics who wear our hearts on our sleeves......................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notagoodninja Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 i was just thinking northpickel im sure there must be websites that are honestly just for making frends and perhaps ones with people who are looking to start activity groups - like hiking or pottery or art in a park or something like that then theres no false expectations as its not a dating website, u could make friends with new people and even potentially find a new hobby u enjoy? Yes there is one called link removed Or like platonic on craigslist However I won't join anything because my last relationship was "just friends" and it left me more hurt than the times I was with a guy when I was actually WANTING ONE lol....so "just friends turned out far worse I have 0 desire to make "just friends", it "just" doesn't turn out that way Well, I don't mind having some girl friends though and I have been trying to hang out more with girls too...it's just hard cuz most girls don't share my passions in life, but it's hard finding men who want to just be friends. I need some gay friends haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
northpickle Posted November 6, 2011 Author Share Posted November 6, 2011 It's funny but...I was sitting here reading everyone's posts and noticing a few qualities we all seem to share in common for the most part............ We are romantic people....................................including the men on here...we are all a bunch of hopeless romantics who wear our hearts on our sleeves......................... I'd noticed that too! I wonder if anybody has actually found a partner on here whilst not starting out looking, haha! i was just thinking northpickel im sure there must be websites that are honestly just for making frends and perhaps ones with people who are looking to start activity groups - like hiking or pottery or art in a park or something like that then theres no false expectations as its not a dating website, u could make friends with new people and even potentially find a new hobby u enjoy? Thanks for this, I'm going to have a good Google Yes there is one called link removed Or like platonic on craigslist However I won't join anything because my last relationship was "just friends" and it left me more hurt than the times I was with a guy when I was actually WANTING ONE lol....so "just friends turned out far worse I have 0 desire to make "just friends", it "just" doesn't turn out that way Well, I don't mind having some girl friends though and I have been trying to hang out more with girls too...it's just hard cuz most girls don't share my passions in life, but it's hard finding men who want to just be friends. I need some gay friends haha I seem to have a lot more male friends than female too, and maybe some of them are after more than I give them! But I'm quite a tomboy, not at all girlie, and seem to attract men into my life quite easily as friends, I guess some fall in love with me and want to be more than friends, and that's how some of my relationships have started, like the last one. I've just checked out Meetup, and there are some groups near me! I'm going to check them out now and see if I'm interested in any of them. There's a few female only ones which I wouldn't normally be interested in (for the above reasons, I'm normally attracted to male company) but maybe with my "new start" I should give something different a go. I can only try, I guess! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 […] Thank you catfeeder, I do have my own passions but neglected many of them while in the relationship for some reason. I used to like knitting and cross-stitch for example, haven't really done that since I got with him and I'm not sure why, I only saw him a couple of days and nights a week, it's like my whole world revolved around him even when we weren't together. Like I was always waiting for him to get in touch and like nothing else mattered, I was so into him! Really strange. I kept up my political passions whilst in the relationship however and am still involved with that. Really good insight, NP, into how wrapping your focus around someone else can derail even the simplest of pleasures. Your handicrafts were an important method of evoking certain brain activity by using skills of hand/eye coordination in a relaxed way. This develops your creativity beyond the project at hand. It taps into 'background processing' that's similar to your brain patterns in various stages of sleep--only you're awake, and marvelous things can happen. When you squelched this activity you lost an important tool that can serve you in all areas of your life. Your biggest problem solving device got shut down in favor of hormones, which ran rampant and took over. That's a chemical response similar to a drug addiction, and it blots out all else. Pick out some colored thread and get your mojo back. You'll be amazed at how quickly your clarity will begin to return--and with that will come inspiration for your political work and ways of combining things you already enjoy with new means of exploring them socially. Go you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
northpickle Posted November 6, 2011 Author Share Posted November 6, 2011 Thank you again I'm not exactly how it all happened, I was 28 years old when I started seeing him and yes, the emotions and hormones I experienced while with him, even from just knowing I was his girlfriend and that he loved me (or I least I thought he did apart from at the end) were like nothing I had ever experienced in my life. Truly amazing but at the same time crippling to other areas of my life. I think this actually had an impact on why he chose to end things. I certainly wasn't clingy and I gave him plenty of space. But I made him the centre of my happiness and that was a mistake. That's probably been the reason I've taken the break up so hard too. I lost the main thing (him) that was making me happy. I won't make that mistake again! I just need a lot more time to get back on my feet and starting to do new things (or things that I did used to enjoy) is an important part of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Man Who Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 Yeah, I see what you're saying, I've already had quite a few male "friends" trying to chat me up. I say friends, they obviously fancy me in some way! But I'm really not interested in either a relationship, dating or just sex with anyone. I suppose it would be nice to just meet new people with no expectations. Then I personally don't see the point in registering on a dating site then North....as I'm pretty certain those 3 things you mentioned would be what most blokes on a dating site would be looking for. Plus you know yourself that your far from being over your ex, it's a recipe for disaster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
utopie Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 Hi Northpickle! Why don't you try "meetups"? It's not really for dating but for people who share the same interests and/or want to test new ones. Who knows what/who it's going to bring you. You can google it. As far as dating goes, I've been on a date (my BF of 3 years broke up with me a little bit over a month ago) and it was nice to just feel desirable again. I am not interested though and I did not go for a second date. Flirting, casual dates are not harmful as long as you don't get attached and think "I need to find the one, I need to find the one" Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelAmber Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 It's funny but...I was sitting here reading everyone's posts and noticing a few qualities we all seem to share in common for the most part............ We are romantic people....................................including the men on here...we are all a bunch of hopeless romantics who wear our hearts on our sleeves......................... I think ur sooo right about that! well for me i love being a hopeless romantic, lol id rather get my heart broken than not be and have zero romance in life but i think that i might be the only one lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelAmber Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 yey! goodluck honey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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