For the depressed people who posted here a while ago: happy endings?

[carma]

I don't think people who have found love and are happy with their relationships come back to ENA. Most people who come here are single trying to find advice and refuge.

[Aries73]

The only thing I've succeeded in doing is making a complete and utter fool of myself. Turns out the object of my affection already was taken. After 2 years of hoping to see her again, I only come to find out my hopes were for naught. My efforts to improve myself physically, a waste of time. My dreams of a better future, an illusion. For the past few days as I go to sleep, I can only wonder if I even deserve to see the sun again.

 

It was all I could do to take a walk in the Mall of America today--I had gained 2 lbs. yesterday because of my inactivity. Seeing all of the couples, families, and friends made me look very much out of place. In fact, it made me feel defective as a person. Even seeing my favorite NFL team winning again could only lift my spirits for a short-lived period of time.

[EmmaB78]

I broke up with a guy I thought I was going to marry 4 years ago. I haven't had too many problems finding relationships since then, but they have all been really terrible. I was definitely beginning to think I was destined to be alone. I met someone recently, and though it is still very new, I'm calling this a happy ending for the simple fact that this is the first time in these past 4 years where I feel genuinely happy with someone. If it doesn't work out, I can still take away from this the reminder of what a decent relationship can be like. I was beginning to forget.

[Leya]

Okay, so I didn't post here earlier, but I honestly can TOTALLY relate to the people in this forum. I felt exactly the same way. I saw everyone around me finding their love (their "soulmate"), getting engaged, getting married, etc. I sat through SO many weddings, totally single, feeling MISERABLE and sad and wondering what is wrong with ME?? Why can't I find that? I started to avoid weddings and avoid things that had couples...it just depressed me. And it just started to erode my self worth (like, what is WRONG with me, why don't I deserve love/companionship? Am I unloveable??) And I started walking down the streets and see everyone with their partners..and I just felt like I wasn't quite part of this world...I don't know if anyone can relate to that, lol. I felt invisible. My mother once introduced me to a restaurant owner (when I was 30) and said "Can you believe she is single???" Brutal.

 

But finally finally I found my love at the age of 32 (which I know there are some people still waiting at that age, but I think I am proof that it can happen, lol) He also waited that long...so we SO appreciate what we have (no grass is greener syndrome here!!) It just makes it all that sweeter. So yes, to all those in this forum - I have felt what you have felt!!! But please don't totally give up!! It might take us a bit longer to find our One, but when we do, it will be that much sweeter.

[CrazyKing]

For the people who posted here a while ago saying: I'll never find love and will be alone forever, have some of you eventually found love?

 

I really hope you have and are happy now! I'd love to hear some positive stories/happy endings!. I read some of your posts and it made me sad. I don't think anyone deserves to be alone forever

Somehow I start accepting the fact that I'll be forever alone. Sometimes it seems like everybody, even if he's a total lunatic somehow gets married and has kids while I just turned 26 and never had a relationship I could call serious - just one nighters, short-term stuff, sex-based stuff, some were great muses.

Perhaps that's my fate and it has always been like that, although I've tried so many times to change the way I look at things - forget about relationships at all, then do the imagination thing about the partner that would fit me, made the same list over and over again (mine even ain't that long), trying to feel like already being in a relationship.

 

Actually I think that I don't deserve to be married, not even in a long-term relationship for what I have done in my life, it's just pointless to look for someone, as it is pointless not to look for someone.

[somethngwrng]

Funny how much my emotions can turn around in the month since my last post in this thread. For the first time in my life I'm starting to feel like I'm worth something and deserving of a relationship with someone. My ex kinda came out of left field and hit me for 6. I wasn't expecting a relationship at the time of meeting her and she just dug her claws in and clung until she had turned me into a wreck, at which point she bailed.

 

It's 10 weeks since we broke up, and since our relationship was quite short and nasty, I feel like I'm over it. I started online dating and realised my problems were that every person I talk to, I hold a lot of expectation. This could hold me back from even getting dates in the first place, or coming on too strong and scaring people off. Since I have become a bit more relaxed and non-chalant, I have had more dates in the past 2 months than I have had in the other 27.5 years combined. My anxiety has dropped away BIG TIME.

 

Still no current success other than the fact that I have a number of girls that I could organise a date with for any other day of the week. I think with more practice in dating and learning the dos and no nots, I would be able to have a fulfilling relationship with someone.

[MattW]

Started posting here about 3-4 years ago, and no, still alone, still never dated. I haven't really posted here in a few months, simply because I don't even really know how I feel about any of this, anymore. I think I've started souring a lot on the idea of dating, relationships, marriage, etc. I can't even really picture myself doing any of those things, anymore. It just seems so unrealistic, at this point.

[Leya]

Started posting here about 3-4 years ago, and no, still alone, still never dated. I haven't really posted here in a few months, simply because I don't even really know how I feel about any of this, anymore. I think I've started souring a lot on the idea of dating, relationships, marriage, etc. I can't even really picture myself doing any of those things, anymore. It just seems so unrealistic, at this point.

 

okay, well I had to take charge! I met my amazing guy through eharmoney!! I had never done online dating before..but one night after a wedding, and me feeling especially depressed (and having had a few drinks, lol) I decided "What the hell" when I saw a commercial for it and gave it a go....with some skepticism, of course! But my experience with eharm is because it IS a pay site, that most guys I came accross were like me, genuinely wanting to find a long term partner (not just trying to "hook up"). I met a few lovely men on that site...I didn't end up meeting up with anyone creepy or scary. And my current guy was just like me - a decent person who just hadn't had luck meeting someone decent. I am thankful every day that he came accross my profile and initiated contact. He was apparently drawn to my sarcastic humour. He is the sweetest, kindest guy I know....but suffered from the "nice guys finish last" syndrome. He had dated girls in the past who took advantage of his generous, giving nature but didn't really reciprocate and was just using him.

Even though I have great social skills, and am very emotionally intelligent, and people tend to like me, I am NOT socially outgoing (despite my very socially outgoing job...so at the end of the day, I prefer a quiet night at home by myself!) and thus don't attend a lot of social events...so I wasn't being exposed to new people. This is why I had to resort to online dating. Just be cautious and safe!!

[MattW]

I *kinda* tried dabbling around on some dating sites a couple years ago, but never really connected with anyone. I've never tried any of the pay sites because, while they may be better at weeding out the wrong kind of people, I've just never had the funds to justify it. In my mind, it doesn't make sense to pay for something that's nowhere near a sure thing, when I don't have much cash to begin with.

 

Anyway, I dunno, I've never really gotten into the online dating thing. I don't mean to seem like I'm purposely handicapping myself, I just... don't see the appeal. I'm sure plenty of people meet and start relationships that way, but that's just never how I saw myself doing it, yanno?

[somethngwrng]

I *kinda* tried dabbling around on some dating sites a couple years ago, but never really connected with anyone. I've never tried any of the pay sites because, while they may be better at weeding out the wrong kind of people, I've just never had the funds to justify it. In my mind, it doesn't make sense to pay for something that's nowhere near a sure thing, when I don't have much cash to begin with.

 

Anyway, I dunno, I've never really gotten into the online dating thing. I don't mean to seem like I'm purposely handicapping myself, I just... don't see the appeal. I'm sure plenty of people meet and start relationships that way, but that's just never how I saw myself doing it, yanno?

I will vouch for online dating. I use a pay site. Really I had never dated before, it was so extremely uncommon for me to have any romantic interest with a girl. I would go for years with nothing at all and then I'd find a girl who would just screw me around and then go back to years of nothing. I decided to sign up for online dating a couple of months back and it has been a journey of self discovery in a way. Though there were dud dates and general failure, I have slowly gained confidence through it. At the moment I am dating a girl with mutual interest and she is 10x the quality of a woman I ever thought I could get to look twice at me!

 

A cliche, but true saying: You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.