What is acceptable for a girlfriend when it comes to sleeping over at other

[SorrowandPain]

people's houses?

 

So I’m reconciling with my ex of 2 years. She left me for another guy 3 months ago but now we’re trying it out again. There are clearly a lot of trust issues and I don’t know if I can deal with all of them.

 

Anyways, she says she wants to maintain her independence and maintain the relationships with her friends. That’s cool with me. But what I’m unsure about is what is reasonable when it comes to sleep overs at other people’s houses. Would any of the following would be acceptable to you:

 

1. During our break up and when she was dating the guy she left me for, she met 2 guy friends. They party/go out together in groups sometimes. She said the group of people usually end up at the guys’ place after a night of partying. There are others there too staying over – guys and girls. Is this acceptable for her to stay over there if she doesn’t sleep on the same bed as the guys. These guys are all just friends.

 

2. She has a gay guy friend she goes out with in a group to go party. She sleeps over there and there’s other people guys' and girls. Is this acceptable?

 

3. She goes out partying with a group of friends and she stays at a gf’s place with no other guys.

 

4. She goes out partying with a group of friends and stays over at a gf’s place but other guys are present.

 

I don’t know what to think anymore. The trust issue is huge because she left me before and I’ve caught in a bunch of little white lies. I don’t want to be controlling but I don’t know what is acceptable.

[UniqueSoul]

meh. i think that as long as she is being safe while partying, she should stay anywhere she wants to or feels comfortable. you have to trust her, or there isnt really anything to hold onto.

[In the Dark]

I am skeptical this is going to work out.

 

With the trust issues she has caused and now the fact she is without a doubt wanting to sleep over at other peoples houses where other males are about would personally take too much of a toll on already damaged trust.

[SorrowandPain]

Well, I talked to her about it and there's good news. She said since we're in a relationship, she won't sleep over at a guy's place even if there's other girls there. She asked me if I am okay with her staying over at a gay friend's place and I said sure. She did say I'd have to pick her up though if she has no other place to stay but if I can't, she'll arrange something else beforehand.

[volvic1]

Well, I talked to her about it and there's good news. She said since we're in a relationship, she won't sleep over at a guy's place even if there's other girls there. She asked me if I am okay with her staying over at a gay friend's place and I said sure. She did say I'd have to pick her up though if she has no other place to stay but if I can't, she'll arrange something else beforehand.

 

That sounds like a good compromise, but I think she does need to realize you will need more from her that you originally did because trust is a hard thing to get back! You seem willing to try so I hope it works out ok for you!