Contact from ex-partner

[martina]

I had a relationship for 10 years with a man I was very fond of. After 7 years we were together, out of the blue he broke up with me, but we got back together after two weeks. He said he didn't know why he had taken that decision. After this, we broke up and got back together several times. He has always been the one who contacted me again. I finally left him September 2010, we had No Contact for a whole year. He contacted me again per mail last month asking how I am and telling me he missed me a lot and still misses me. He tried to find an opportunity to meet, but I took time. I was so overwhelmed emotionally by the fact that he had had the courage to contact me again. We have continued to exchange a few mails and has made it clear he would like to see me. I agreed to it so I'll probably meet up with him in the next few days. I don't know what he really wants from me: just friendship or to meet up with an old flame? We live in two different towns, so I don't know anything about him. Maybe he had another relationship which went wrong and he wishes to resort to a familiar face.

In any case, this relationship didn't work if we tried to break it so many times; it's useless to try to resuscitate it again. I have still feelings for this man, but I know that going back to him would mean a lot of suffering again. He doesn't make me feel secure, or better said, I don't feel secure with him, and he's so unpredictable

 

On the one hand, we don't seem to be able to break our bond for good, on the other we don't seem to be capable of being together

 

What shall I do?

 

Thank you

[Deejmonster]

people do change, and if its been a while since you have seen him and really talked to him, maybe those parts of him that were unattractive may be gone. These situations can be tricky, but I can only tell you to to do what you want.. if you want to see him do it but i would urge you that you keep it simple and don't expect anything from it. If he wants to make amends, that is up to you.. just weigh your options and take it slow. People have a way of changing, and its been a little over a year, but still things can be different. If you don't know what to do, don't do anything. If you are happy with your life and where it is taking you, then don't include something that will jeoparadize that. Feelings will eventually go away, but you can't redo your life once its done.