MOJO rising.

[DerekJason]

who here feels like theyre starting to not give a FAWK about what their ex is doin? i'm starting too, hoping i dont wind up crying like a toddler this weekend tho haha.

[sonypirates]

Past 2-3 weeks I've been doing much better. It's a mix of knowing things will actually work out with us cause of what's been going on lately and me just getting back my natural confidence.

[Moontiger]

Lol, I just posted a thread about "getting back on the horse"

 

There is light at the end of the tunnel!

[Massari]

I want to feel like i don't give a "FAWK"( brilliant way or spelling btw. kudos to you "DerekJason" ) lately i feel like i want to go on fb. unblock her just to see her picture in the search field and i was the one who broke up with her then she played games to piss me off and I told her to go off and not contact me again. and hey here I am the one who's missing her cause i had real feelings towards her and the break up wasn't something that i wanted to do. But it was something that was right to do. I still miss her . but i do know that light will be there soon and i will get on that horse again and continue toward my happiness!

[DerekJason]

Lol, I just posted a thread about "getting back on the horse"

 

There is light at the end of the tunnel!

 

ha yeah i read your thread, you looked smashing in your little red dress. i like to read stories about people leaving the tunnel! i wanna get out of the tunnel as well!

[DerekJason]

I want to feel like i don't give a "FAWK"( brilliant way or spelling btw. kudos to you "DerekJason" ) lately i feel like i want to go on fb. unblock her just to see her picture in the search field and i was the one who broke up with her then she played games to piss me off and I told her to go off and not contact me again. and hey here I am the one who's missing her cause i had real feelings towards her and the break up wasn't something that i wanted to do. But it was something that was right to do. I still miss her . but i do know that light will be there soon and i will get on that horse again and continue toward my happiness!

 

wow man, that mustve been a tough decision. keep movin towards the light! nice avatar btw.

[Thorshammer]

I dont, I just have general loneliness. I do want to completely obliterate a new woman though, like completely demolish her, and then get that weird moment in the morning when you wake up and shes sleeping next to you and you just realized you had this chick all accross the wall, floor, almost crying. Then acting smooth as shhh, like, "aye, get your clothes, this didnt include room and board". Lol, just kidding.

 

I do want to go out there and play the "game", and not settle until the woman makes me settle.

[Wutdo]

who here feels like theyre starting to not give a FAWK about what their ex is doin? i'm starting too, hoping i dont wind up crying like a toddler this weekend tho haha.

 

Not me~ Just found out recently, and it gave me a smug sense of satisfaction that everything is going bad. She missed out on the awesomeness that is me. But there's still hurt from the ego blow/rejection/realization of lies/relationship failure. However, finally ready to close this chapter of my life, moving on, damaged goods and all.

 

I dont, I just have general loneliness. I do want to completely obliterate a new woman though, like completely demolish her, and then get that weird moment in the morning when you wake up and shes sleeping next to you and you just realized you had this chick all accross the wall, floor, almost crying. Then acting smooth as shhh, like, "aye, get your clothes, this didnt include room and board". Lol, just kidding.

 

I do want to go out there and play the "game", and not settle until the woman makes me settle.

 

Totally not kidding. Sounds so resentful, but I like. If only I were that type of guy.

[BestHorse]

I dont, I just have general loneliness. I do want to completely obliterate a new woman though, like completely demolish her, and then get that weird moment in the morning when you wake up and shes sleeping next to you and you just realized you had this chick all accross the wall, floor, almost crying. Then acting smooth as shhh, like, "aye, get your clothes, this didnt include room and board". Lol, just kidding.

 

I do want to go out there and play the "game", and not settle until the woman makes me settle.

 

This is my first post, but Thor u keep it so trill. My situation was VERY similar to your last break-up and adopting your attitude has got my swag back on full force. Now my ex is snooping around after I've got into the best shape of my life and breakin chicks down like lego blocks.

 

But like you said...I'm not settling til I find a woman who is deemed worthy of the work I've accomplished on myself.

[BestHorse]

Nearly 4 months out after getting dumped in a 5 year LTR, I've gotten to the point where I am out dating girls, working out, kicking ass at work and other business projects again, and not giving two flaming $#!+s what (or who) the ex is doing. Thanx to many of you here on ENA, I've sped my coping/healing time up immensely.

 

You can get your SWAG back but you gotta work on it. Everyday is a conscious effort to make YOURSELF better.

[Thorshammer]

This is my first post, but Thor u keep it so trill. My situation was VERY similar to your last break-up and adopting your attitude has got my swag back on full force. Now my ex is snooping around after I've got into the best shape of my life and breakin chicks down like lego blocks.

 

But like you said...I'm not settling til I find a woman who is deemed worthy of the work I've accomplished on myself.

 

I do... and if I cant, then I try, until I can go back to doing (which is moving on and not letting it consume me or define me). Take the lesson learned, that lesson should make you a better man, to avoid making the same mistakes, thats improvement. Yeah, we lost our girl, yeah we get hit with some set-backs for a while, but dont forget the lessons learned, it may or may not equal losing your ex RIGHT NOW, but if you take that lesson to heart, and improve in other ways, then that lesson might get you someone who IS worth it.

 

Single life is fun if you make it fun. So once that confidence comes back, once you knock the ex out the pedestal, once you start wondering how that chick next door looks in her underwear, then you can man-up and make a play, and get it or get rejected, then move on to the next one if she aint worth it. We all had gfs, we were and still are capable, just dont let the hit to your ego and weakness after a break-up cloud that.

 

Thats why i say working out, changing clothes, working on attractive behavior is good, not only is it attractive, but it sets in our mind that we are improving, a better model than before her. Think it and you will be it.

[BestHorse]

Thats why i say working out, changing clothes, working on attractive behavior is good, not only is it attractive, but it sets in our mind that we are improving, a better model than before her. Think it and you will be it.

 

Above all else, this is the fastest way to recovery. Put yourself above any concept of dating, S/Os, etc and invest in your image and your body. It will be repaid x1000.

 

On another note Thor, whats your feelings about my ex snooping around. Granted she was fuggin hot, I am not sure its worth the drama to even talk to her at this point ever again...even if she comes back sorry.

[DerekJason]

I dont, I just have general loneliness. I do want to completely obliterate a new woman though, like completely demolish her, and then get that weird moment in the morning when you wake up and shes sleeping next to you and you just realized you had this chick all accross the wall, floor, almost crying. Then acting smooth as shhh, like, "aye, get your clothes, this didnt include room and board". Lol, just kidding.

 

I do want to go out there and play the "game", and not settle until the woman makes me settle.

 

ha thorshammer keepz it real! complete decimation will take place next time. good thing i have a "get by", id be dyin' right now.

 

Take the lesson learned, that lesson should make you a better man, to avoid making the same mistakes, thats improvement. Yeah, we lost our girl, yeah we get hit with some set-backs for a while, but dont forget the lessons learned, it may or may not equal losing your ex RIGHT NOW, but if you take that lesson to heart, and improve in other ways, then that lesson might get you someone who IS worth it.

 

Single life is fun if you make it fun. So once that confidence comes back, once you knock the ex out the pedestal, once you start wondering how that chick next door looks in her underwear, then you can man-up and make a play, and get it or get rejected, then move on to the next one if she aint worth it. We all had gfs, we were and still are capable, just dont let the hit to your ego and weakness after a break-up cloud that.

 

Thats why i say working out, changing clothes, working on attractive behavior is good, not only is it attractive, but it sets in our mind that we are improving, a better model than before her. Think it and you will be it.

 

4real. love your insight, man.

[Thorshammer]

I'll keep it real for you fellas, if you are a weak man, you will prolong this hurt for years. Dont intentionally make yourself weak, dont walk that path, because its going to be a hard path to get out of (and for some of us, they left us because we were weak). Men are all about behavior, and we have a lot to lose if you let some chick ruin that for years (looks got me the girl, behavior made me lose them, I had that happen for many years, lol, then it was looks and behavior that got me the serious dames, but then i messed it up with behavior, lol). I can wipe your memory out tomorrow, and the first thing you will think about, is finding someone to sleep/kiss/love with no thought of what came before. Just know its a state of mind, a current state of mind, and thats it.

 

Also, since its never discussed (surprisingly), dont ever tell the new chick all about your ex. I did that ALL the time, I mean, I still got the girl, but it bugged the hell out of them that I kept talking about my ex. Always say, "we broke up, it wasnt working out", dont get into detail unless they ask for it. Its a very sad man that starts breaking down how the girl left because of this and that, it shows you are still focused on her and still looking for solutions, when you should be looking for solutions on how to get that new-girl right in front of you.

[Thorshammer]

Above all else, this is the fastest way to recovery. Put yourself above any concept of dating, S/Os, etc and invest in your image and your body. It will be repaid x1000.

 

On another note Thor, whats your feelings about my ex snooping around. Granted she was fuggin hot, I am not sure its worth the drama to even talk to her at this point ever again...even if she comes back sorry.

 

I dont know your story, or probably forgot it since people message me to read their stories that I forget. I need to put a signature on my account, I dont think its wise for posters to put so much faith on a stranger (not saying you will, but issues like this are a lot more serious than listening to typed words from some dude from brooklyn).

 

I have had women search me out from 1 week, 6 months, to a year. Most didnt care about me, they werent curious with a guy they knew very little of, so they wanted me to "get in that", others were curious (and curiosity is attraction). It depends on the relationship (friendly, supportive of each other, or was it more sexual), the reason for the break up, and the amount of NC. But really, it can be anything.

[BestHorse]

We were together for 5 years, lived together for about a buck and change. I'm 28 and shes 24. She was always the one pushing hard to live together and once we moved out of my old place into our new place, about 2-3 months in she got really weird. Behaving much like your ex (going out with the girls too much, nagging, Vegas trips etc) and i was basically in a hole cuz of long hours at work...letting myself go, not really engaged, etc. Tried to check in and communicate several times (she was complaining about me working too much) and finally got hit with the "I don't think I love you anymore, I don't see us having a future" $#!+.

 

It honestly crushed me really bad and I left the apartment IMMEDIATLEY and stayed with some buddies for a month or so til I got my money together while she stayed at the old (new) place. I gave all I could to this girl and basically left feeling used. She was my longest relationship and I honestly didn't see this coming...just saw it as a rough patch. We had just moved into a sick new place and I figured it as an adjustment period, but we wound up having to break our lease early...As a result I was crippled financially for a few months, even though I tried to work it out with her to no avail. Finally got my own place, grew balls, and never looked back. I strongly suspected cheating at the end of the relationship, though she denied it every time. Regardless she was being shady and it was enough for me to say #%&@ this. Based on her behavior post-BU, I'm sure something went down.

 

Once I had seen it was done, I began to move on rapidly. Got a new car, lost 40lbs, started kicking ass at my job, dating, got tatted up, and began freelancing like a beast. Now I got an email from her yesterday over some old BS and I'm sensing her picking around the ol FB and twitter. I'm not out posting myself doing touchdown dances at every turn, but It's obvious that I'm having fun and enjoying my life now.

 

My hang up is of course I still have love for the girl, she's a BANGER, and if she were to come back (which everyone says she will, but I'm not really losing sleep over it) what should be the move? I know you advocate HeMan Woman-Hater mode after being dumped, but I am also an advocate for giving people room to change for the better.

[Thorshammer]

Your story is very suspect, because either you are leaving a lot out, or something is missing and you dont know about it. Did you get needy with her as she got distant? When she nagged, how did you behave? Did you try to get controlling with her? Did you prevent her from going out, or complained about it? What was she nagging about? Did her distance threaten you and you became insecure? Did you stop caring about appearance?

 

And if she cheated or not, she wont say, even if she has no intention of connecting with you ever again, many people will never tell you the truth (I know I never did, and woman have the amazing ability to avoid the blame by blaming something else, using emotion to explain that they logically did something wrong). But, if you didnt go overboard with unattractive behavior, then something diverted her feelings to you, it could be someone else, or it could be the party lifestyle (like I say in every post, in my block we gamble whos gf is leaving who when that summer creeps around and those clubs are packed with birds).

 

And I know you dont want to hear it but, she is indecisive if she comes back. Thats chaos and instability, two traits that dont go well if you want a relationship. How can you trust her (I dont mean so much if she cheated on you, because we dont know, when i say trust i mean trust her feelings knowing she did a 180 out of nowhere)?

 

But, how you approach her depends on the reason for the break up. She didnt tell you anything as to WHY?

[BestHorse]

Honestly she was young and our relationship was a lot of ups and downs in the beginning. We broke up and reconciled twice before...with her coming back every time I would begin to move on. AND SHE WOULD BE THE ONE TO END IT IN THE FIRST PLACE! I was never needy or controlling at all really. I enjoy my freedom so I don't act like a dictator, but I won't put up with bull * * * * either. Definitely let the looks slip a little after living together for a while, although I am better than ever now. The only thing I made a big deal about was that it began to feel like she was living a separate life with her girlfriends while I would be working. I also work around a lot of women which she said she was threatening after a while, but none the less I never hooked up with any of them, despite their advances. Even took her on a few biz trips so she could meet everyone. She was not very emotionally mature and had a number of issues that I overlooked since she was a cool chick and looked hot. As time went on, I began to be turned off by her jealousy and temper. In the end, i definitely felt like I got blamed for everything wrong in the relationship, where she could never woman up and admit she was being a lunatic at times.

 

Honesty, I treated the girl great, dinners, gifts, sex, etc, but each successive break up I became slightly more detached. I didn't really trust her after a while and towards the end my effort tapered off and I was working a lot more. Approaching the last break up, I felt things changing and caught the signs as they came. When I called her out she dropped the bomb. I told myself before this happened that if she ran again I wasn't going to go thru this * * * * again...

 

But, from what I gather, she is out partying etc, which at this point I could care less about. Seems like summer was enough to make her a runner.

 

We shared a lot of our lives together for 5 years and I felt that when we moved into our new place it was the start of something new. I was right, it just wasn't with her i guess. She would have to have made great strides in terms of emotional maturity for me to consider anything with her at this point but I'm not sure it will even happen. I am content to never talk to her again and move on like I have before.

 

At this point i feel like she has a lot of growing up to do emotionally.

[Thorshammer]

Hmmm, I would also label it immaturity, but honestly, I dont see a reason to point at, and immaturity is something I really dont let anyone get away with. Someone can be immature, but there is always a reason for the break-up. Did you meet her friends? What were the fights about?

 

My ex was the same. All she had was looks, but she was a sweet-heart, so I thought i was chilling with wifey and I was set for life. But she had issues that I attributed to depression (agitation, temper for small things, lack of being happy, everything was negative). Most of her ex's left her because they couldnt handle her. But I threatened her social life, told her I didnt like it, so that, plus me slipping and being clingy, turned her off and she bounced.

 

Maybe I am just failing to see what over-working and the guy not being there does to a woman. Maybe we need a womens perspective, because I have never been in that situation, and I got a PM from another dude that says his gf left for the same reasons. I guess maybe the distance worked against attraction, because I believe in every breakup, the attraction is the issue. Compabilities, insecurity, needy, clingy, are all based on attraction. Someone wouldnt gamble a lover away if they are still attracted (I dont care what anyone says, love is attraction, note that list shows attraction is not based soley on physical). Now, there is also neglect that would have someone leave, neglect can ruin attraction, but some people do leave because it hurts to be with them despite still being attracted, but i dont think thats your case. Or possibly stress, the relationship was stressing her out, that she found an escape with her friends.

 

If we cant make out the reason for the break-up, then its hard to pin-point the flaws and how to reverse them. I guess the safer thing is to just be general. Attract, be out-going, and fun. Never bring up the relationship unless she does, and always associate yourself with positive energies, i wouldnt be quick to admit any mistakes unless you worked on them and can bring them out in convo without it looking forced.