Online dating, how much texting is too much? and she doesn't initiate contact

[dumpedinshock]

So I met this girl online, we exchanged several emails over 2 days, then I sent her my number and we started texting...she is always responsive if my text requires an answer, but if it's just for chatting, she won't....she is really nice all the time, she insta accepted my invitation for dinner next week....but she never initiates contact, what do u make of that?

How often do u guys think texting should happen? once a day? a few a day?

[sidehop]

Maybe I'm old school but zero for me. I'd just call her if you have her number. If she's not initiating through text, definitely call her.

[xonicolemarie]

when im first talking to a guy, i dont usually initiate contact, cause i think that if he does, it means he really like me...so i like to see how much he tries to talk to me, if its a lot then it shows hes really interested.....i donno if that makes sense, but what im trying to say is that just cause she doesnt initiate it, doesnt mean shes not interested

[dumpedinshock]

Maybe I'm old school but zero for me. I'd just call her if you have her number. If she's not initiating through text, definitely call her.

I heard this advice before, ok i think i'm gonna give it a day or so then call her...

 

when im first talking to a guy, i dont usually initiate contact, cause i think that if he does, it means he really like me...so i like to see how much he tries to talk to me, if its a lot then it shows hes really interested.....i donno if that makes sense, but what im trying to say is that just cause she doesnt initiate it, doesnt mean shes not interested

But don't u think that there should be some sort of a balance, like 3 times me to 1 time her or something like that?

 

Oh and btw, what does it mean when a girl says that:

"even if this goes nowhere as far as dating goes, i think you'd be an awesome person to meet"

[sidehop]

I think she's keeping things open. You're still 'awesome' in her eyes so that's a good start Positive thoughts!

[xonicolemarie]

well there should be a balance...but life isnt always black and white and fair...ya know? for example..i think women should pay for their own meal..or at least the entire bill once in a while to be fair..doesnt mean they will

[camus154]

I think you shouldn't be so worried about all this communication before you've even had a date.

 

In my mind, especially with online dating, you only chat with someone a few times to a) see if you even want to go on a date, and b) if you do, set a date up.

 

You could spend hours and hours chatting with her on the phone and via text only to discover there's no chemistry when you're together. Set up the date and then stop talking to her! Save something for the date itself!

[eternalsunrise]

The last time I tried online dating, after a few emails, the guy said "here's my number xxx-xxx-xxxx, what's yours? we can text" LOL HUH!? Needless to say, I didn't take him up on that offer. Why not get my # so we can talk on the phone? And at that, use the phone to make plans to hang out. Sure convo could develop over the phone. But I don't get all this texting nonsense. haha

 

I personally view texting as something you do after you've already established a relationship with that person. And even then just for quick short communications.

 

So,in your situation, I don't think texting should happen at all right now. Take her to dinner, build a little in-person rapport with her and then if convo develops over texting it will be two way and genuine and not a forced thing that doesn't indicate anything.

[Day_Walker]

I think that there should be little if any texting at the moment. Get to know her in person then go from there.

[blueidealist24]

I wouldn't take it as her not being interested. I hate texting and I don't text guys I meet online even if I'm interested just because I hate texting.

[Rissee]

I feel like you guys are still in the getting-to-know-each-other stage. Even though you've exchanged several emails, you guys haven't even met yet and don't really know each other. Maybe she's just not comfortable enough to initiate texts as if she's known you for a while.

[dumpedinshock]

well quick update, i stopped texting for almost 48 hrs, she texted me last night asking how my day went, we exchanged a couple then she suddenly stopped as usual

I am not gonna sweat it, won't initiate texting again till the date...thanks for all the help btw

[Ariel85]

If you haven't met her and are not dating, the whole idea of texting at this point seems really silly.

 

I know the kids these days love to live a relationship virtually and not in person, but I'm not a fan of overinvesting and living a fantasy before you meet someone. Most internet connections end up being a bust, so this kind of thing ends up being a huge waste of time.

 

How about you set up a date and actually MEET the girl? Wild thought, I know.

[dumpedinshock]

I agree with u, we set a date yesterday and i'll be seeing her this weekend...till then i'm keeping the texting to minimum, i always respond to her though...

will keep u guys updated

[zccr3279]

Watch the texting...too much can be troublesome - it can get old too fast and you can run out of things to say (which is very bad). Save stories/thoughts for the real conversations.

[delancey]

After the first date, make it a habit of calling her. It is way better than texting. Set the preferred method of communication at an early stage of the relationship.

 

 

Good luck!