TheDoctor Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 I been wanting to do this for a long while, I wasn't sure when the right time would be but I think I want to at least tell some of you guys who are into a fresh break up or even a long NC situation what happened to me. I don't really know what to focus on but I just want to tell you my story, and perhaps provide some of you who are probably as shattered as I was with some food for thought or perhaps a few lessons I learned along the way. About 8 months ago I broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years, we were having an enormous amount of arguments and as medical school became overwhelming I noticed a cancer growing in our relationship. To make matters worst, she refused to get a job and get her life together and instead chose to party with her friends while I would stay home and study and go to work. She became friends with a new group of girls who told her she would be better off leaving me because I don't appreciate her. The next day I saw on Facebook she basically bashed me immaturely with inspirational quotes targeting how she wanted to be single ie "Why be with someone when they don't love you?". I reacted with anger and texted her it's over without really realizing what I was saying or doing. I even put single status and deleted her from Facebook, I know childish stuff. The next morning I woke up and realized I still love her alot and I'm not ready to let her go and that these problems were bareable. However, she DID NOT respond to my phone call. I was assuming she was upset, so I texted her and said please pick up she DID NOT. I called a few times and texted, and I was so furious and hurt. Two weeks later, NC continued and I hadn't made any attempts to contact, I texted her and even had my sister text her asking why are you doing this? She didn't respond, and I found out she went with her group of friends to Las Vegas while I was trying to work things out. I was DEVESTATED beyond comprehension, it was so out of control that I even began to drink and take Xanax to calm my anxiety. I've never even taken Xanax before in my life but I started to take it to control my stress, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I was an honor student and I was failing all my classes. It was a nightmare happening right before my eyes. I couldn't believe how quickly I lost full control of my relationship, I couldn't even get the girl I was with for 3 years to respond to me to tell me that it was really over or where we should go from here. I texted her one last time 1 month later asking why she's doing this, I love her and revenge wont solve anything and she'll regret it. She blocked my phone. That was it, it pushed me off the edge. I dropped all my classes, canceled summer school and started to work out religiously. I used to be in great shape, but throughout the years I put on an extra 30 lbs and lost all my muscle definition. A spiritual journey had begun wether I wanted to accept it or not, it wasn’t optional. In a matter of 1 month I lost 30 lbs, felt physically great but emotionally wrecked. I began to date and saw how many girls truly appreciated my company and for the most part I maintained a friendship with all of them till this day. But despite all the working out and dating, the thought that we may never talk consumed me. I was constantly rock bottom and if it wasn't for users like Dramallama, Catfeeder, and Casmut I honestly think there would be times I'd just give up on it all. Before I knew it 6 months had past and NC continued with us both, I kept thinking to myself I’m sure by now she’s over it. Many users on Enotalone told me there is no way she’ll come back and she has probably moved on by now. I read every freaking website on how to get your ex back and they all said if your ex doesn’t respond after 3 months it’s always over. I was told unanimously by everyone (except Casmut) that there is almost no way my ex would ever come back again. I couldn’t believe it all, but ultimatelyI accepted my fate, I stopped reading all the websites and just let go of it all. I had to trust in life and wait for it to play out and enjoy as much as I could because this was torturing me. You have to understand, I went 6 months without hearing ANYTHING from this girl or her friends on how she is doing with the probability we would never speak again. But something interesting happened along the way, I became empowered, I was in the best shape of my life, I felt great, I felt good about where I was at. However, the thought that she was the answer to all my problems kept eating away at me. One day, I woke up and just felt great, it was my birthday and my cousins wedding at the same time and I realized how much I had overcome from this experience. Suddenly, I couldn't freaking believe it, she texted me half a year later to say happy birthday to me and that I deserve the best life in the world and she misses me. We met up in person and she cried hysterically to me telling me how sorry she is and that she doesn’t want to lose me. I was very emotional and sad, I told her she left me for dead, she didn’t even have the dignity to respond to a single text to tell me to leave her alone or anything. It was a sick and sadistic game and she owed me more than that after everything. She agreed, she told me she finally has a job, lost ALL her friends, and shes focusing on her life now. This was 3 months ago, 3 months later I am dating her and let me tell you after all these amazing changes in my life I am back EXACTLY where I left off with her. I love this girl a lot, but she is constantly moody and angry. I can’t go 5 minutes without her starting an argument and she keeps telling me I haven’t changed at all. I am now back to where I started in a way, wanting out again because I see this time around IT IS NOT MY FAULT. I have come to terms that my ex and this relationship is not meant to last and that it’s time to let go. I want to ultimately tell all of you, especially those who are in my similar situation of long term NC that your life will play out if you stay true to yourself. DON’T GIVE IN! Don’t Contact and trust that they are missing you without any reassurance or clues. Most importantly, know that once you do get them back TRUST ME WHEN I TELL YOU nothing will change and you will be back right where you left off. If that sounds ideal for you, then take my advice and continue NC until they come back maturily and ready for you. Stay true to your alpha self and don’t tap out, for some odd reason no one wants an ex back until they overcome their fears of letting go. Best of luck to all of you! Link to comment
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