Salvageable Rejection?

[Sache]

We went and got some dinner and I meet a friend at the restaurant asking was I going to this Halloween party. My lady friend wants to go...*she's kind of sheltered and has never been to a party, drunk alcohol, had a b/f, etc.* So whatever, we go...party is ok. I was the designated driver and had some restless drunks in my car so I quickly walk her to her door and say goodnight. I felt the urge to tell her so I texted her like 20 mins later that night...

 

Me: I'm a coward....I can't tell you to your face that I like you if it isn't already obvious.

 

Her: I kinda knew...you're so sweet and nice, but I think it's best to be friends.

 

Me: I can accept rejection, but it's human nature to want to know the reason why....I guess it's better if I talk to you in person.

 

Her: Well we can talk in person if you'd like, but mainly it's b/c I still need to figure some things out about myself.

 

Me:

[blueidealist24]

I think if she's never done anything like you say, she might feel a bit confused as to how to react. Or, she's not into you at all and is trying to let you down nicely. However, since it could still be the first option, I think you should talk to her a bit in person but if she rejects you in person or is vague then don't push it.

[blueidealist24]

It might be human nature to want to know the reason why but that doesn't mean you can't live without knowing why and besides she's not going to tell you the real reason especially if it's hurtful such as she thinks you're not all that good looking.

 

Think of one thing she could possibly tell you as a reason that wouldn't hurt your feelings that much and just figure that's what she would have said. It's close enough.

 

But she actually could be interested, she might just have some issues (because of being sheltered, not ever having a bf, or having been to a party.. since you say 'lady' it sounds like she's at least out of her teens).

[Sache]

She's 19 and I'm 20...I know her family is secretive from each other. Recently her sister moved out from their apartment and with her boyfriend who is abusive. There could be plenty of reasons why she is having doubt...We have been meeting almost every other day doing some activity. If there was no attraction I'm sure she'd have a excuse not to hang out...I'll go talk to her and see what happens.

[sophie274]

I think that when someone does you the benefit of being as crystal clear as she was - she even let you know she's not interested in meeting up to discuss why she's not into you - you have to take them at their word. I've been plenty shy and had lots of issues in my dating years, and have never told any guy I was remotely interested in that I just wanted to be friends.

 

She's been hanging out with you often - maybe she honestly JUST wants to be friends, as she has told you. I really don't think you should talk to her, because she's been very open and honest that she's not interested in anything romantic. Do her the courtesy of listening to her.

[niceguy1]

I say go for her if you really like her and you know she's not into anybody else. I had a couple of situations where the girl only considered me a friend but I still hooked up with her anyways. Hang out with her one on one and when the moment is right kiss her. Don't ask to kiss her just go for it. Then if she still wants to be only friends after that then at least you know you tried then go onto the next one. Girls are complicated, trust me if your smooth and confident you'll get her.

[laura40]

I say go for her if you really like her and you know she's not into anybody else. I had a couple of situations where the girl only considered me a friend but I still hooked up with her anyways. Hang out with her one on one and when the moment is right kiss her. Don't ask to kiss her just go for it. Then if she still wants to be only friends after that then at least you know you tried then go onto the next one. Girls are complicated, trust me if your smooth and confident you'll get her.

 

No offence niceguy1 but I do not agree with the advice you have given here. The girl has told the OP that she just sees him as a friend and nothing more. Trying to force a kiss on her would probably not end well. I bet the girl wouldn't talk to him again.

 

OP - she has told you she wants to be friends. I'm sorry but I don't think anything will progress from that at the moment.