Lovechronocity- what should I do ? (:

[Aquarianguy87]

Hey to all the people on these forums! (: Ima short time reader first time poster and Im asking if anyone could please give me some advice on my situation (:

ok..

its been 3 months since I last seen and talked to my ex. It was a nasty painful breakup but im getting on with things, working on bettering myself and figuring out what went wrong so I can do it right this time around.

 

my ex cut all ties with me so its pretty much impossible for me to see and talk to her, but I want to get back with her, to have a Second Chance.

ok so this is the synchronocity

I was walking through the city and saw my mate who I havnt seen in a while standing there waiting for the bus, I started chatting to him and all that for about 5 mins then I turn around and saw my ex sitting then on the bus stop, I could tell she had been shocked and surprised looking at me and listening to our conversation. As I walked past I nocticed her in the corner of my eye, she had her face turned down and eyes closed hoping I wouldnt notice her, she was hiding... I did know it was her though ( she was wearing her zumba clothes) as shes an instructor and yeah I stopped and saw she had her eyes closed and then I kept on walking even though the only thing I want to do in the entire world is talk to her again, as I still love her dearly!

 

Now this was a weird synchronicity event. and I was thinking to break the ice and start talking to her agian should I, in a weeks time, walk past that same bus stop except this time, stopping and just saying Hi, hows it going? I want to, I really do but Im not sure what I will say or how it will go, what her reaction would be etc.... all I know is that I need to do it RIGHT this time! As this being my first serious breakup I made alot of common mistakes such as only doing NC for a month before caving in etc

If anyone can give me some advice on what to do here that would be great

some Do's and what not to Do's

cheers!

[Thorshammer]

You said you made mistakes of doing NC for only a month, and caving in, yet you want to plant yourself in whats supposed to be a random occurrence? She needs to come to you, she broke up with you. The more needy and desperate you were, the further you need to disappear. You wont look cute, sexy, great, good by approaching her. She was avoiding you for a reason. You might just anger her and continue to push her away.

 

I know its hard to see your ex. I would probably HULK UP and destroy everything in a one mile radius if I saw my ex. So dont do it to yourself, keep nc, and heal. When you heal you will be strong, confident, and happy. GIVE HER TIME TO FORGET YOU, how is she going to forget you if you are hanging on all the time? Vanish from existence, let her see what life is without you, and if there is something there, then maybe she will reach out- if not, then there is not. If you want me to tell you what you want to hear, then contact her after you get stronger, and be friendly with her. Just be happy and confident, tease her, make her laugh, throw convo's that HINT at the changes you made (but dont say them directly). Always reach out to her like you reach out to a friend, you need something, an opinion, help with something, or you are bored, etc. And always be cool, confident, calm and careless. Dont ever bring up the relationship unless she does, always associate yourself with positive energies (forever, even with friends).

 

What happened that day means nothing. I once met an ex I met on some small website, she just randomly almost walked into me. Our eyes met, and that was it, i just looked away (which was really strange since I went to the mall that day to forget her and it was many months after the BU).

[offplanet]

I don't understand how if someone makes it clear they don't want to be involved with you (in general, I mean) you (people in general, I mean) totally ignore what that person has expressed, and keep trying to be with them against their wishes. Why would you want to keep trying to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you, and who tries to hide from you? I don't get that. I can understand being hurt and heartbroken, of course, but I don't understand wanting to be where you are not wanted. I couldn't do that myself. And besides, it's not going to work. She will resent you ignoring her wishes. Thorshammer's advice is better. Don't be at that bus stop. Let her remember you with your self respect intact. That will be better in so many ways.

[Mesemene]

As I walked past I nocticed her in the corner of my eye, she had her face turned down and eyes closed hoping I wouldnt notice her, she was hiding... I did know it was her though ( she was wearing her zumba clothes) as shes an instructor and yeah I stopped and saw she had her eyes closed and then I kept on walking even though the only thing I want to do in the entire world is talk to her again, as I still love her dearly!

 

You already broke NC. Her body language is not encouraging you to make contact.

 

If you start showing up at the bus stop "randomly" odds are good she'll avoid the bus stop. Thor is right - neither of you are in a good place to get back in touch. She doesn't want it, and you want it way too much at this point.

[Aquarianguy87]

Thankyou guys for all your helpfull advice!

what you said Thorhammer man has really opened my eyes

yeah I will vanish completely out of her life and like you said if theres something there she'll come back, if not thats her loss I guess (: yeah Im definatly on the mend! its amazing when those strong love feelings go n no longer cloud your judgment, you can look at the situation objectivly..these feelings made me feel getting her back was the most important thing ever, but now i realize ( when loves been replaced with indifference) its not at all and its time to get strong and happy again than move on ! (:

Thanks again guys!

your advice saved me from making another mistake, but thats how we learn right?

cheers!