manu85 Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Hi guys, Long story short: I've been with my ex for about 15 months and we've broken up for a little over a year. It was a very intense relationship for both of us. Now, in short, let me explain my social circle, which mainly consists of 3 groups: 1. Old friends: I have about 15 friends I still see from high school (I'm 25 now), I've known these guys for 10-12 years. They're very close friends and they know all about me, but in recent years, many of them have started hooking up, and most of them are a tad bit conservative and settling down. 2. Uni friends: about 10 people I've known for 6-7 years. They're not my closest buddies but still people I like to hang out with a lot. 3. Party friends: These are about 20+ people. They're friends through friends, they live in the city, most of them I've known for about 5-6 years also. They're not close friends, but really nice people to party and have fun with. Although they're not my closest friends, a lot of them live lifestyles more like mine in comparison to my old friends, and I like to hang out with them most. My ex has known all these people through me since the time we got together (a little over 2 years ago). Now here's what happened: after the break-up, I didn't want to be friends while she really wanted to. She started befriending my 'party friends' and a few of my uni and old friends too, like crazy. They would go to parties together week after week, a lot of these friends not caring about how I felt about that, leaving me very upset. For months I stayed home at Saturday nights or just had some low profile drinks on weekend nights, because I figured it'd be better not to see my ex instead of 'having fun' at parties and looking how she would seduce a ton of other guys. I felt hurt but told our mutual friends that they could do as they wanted, because I figured, if they really liked her, they should just have fun, and it was their choice whom to choose as friends, not my decision. I noticed that things gradually got better and better, and my ex would feel guilty about it all and back off. After a few months, she even sometimes went home at parties after she saw that I came, so I could have my fun too. However, last week, I didn't wish her a happy birthday. I figured there was no reason for me to wish her a happy birthday, as she dumped me, flirted with a ton of guys in front of me, litterally stole a huge amount of my friends (hey, I don't want to sound bitter, but it's really like that), and I know for a fact that she has a boyfriend ) now, so I figured she should be happy enough with his wishes and those of all of my friends. Now, one week later, she suddenly gave a huge birthday drink for a lot of friends, again, more than half of those people she knew through me. I am suddenly hearing from friends that she's throwing another big party in a few weeks. She invited friends she doesn't evens see anymore and got to know through me. For both of these parties, I'm not invited (of course, logical as I didn't send her a bday wish). I also see her going back to liking pictures on facebook of all of my friends, etc. etc. Now my reaction: 1. I want my normal social life back! I want to go out and be carefree, see my friends, have a good time, and not be obliged to hang around my ex the whole time, who is IMO trying to control my social life. How to do this??? 2. I want all this drama to stop and I need somebody who cares. Why don't any of my friends give a godd*mned ?? Should I look for new friends? Why can't she have fun with her own friends? I don't mind her seeing our mutual friends, but why has it got to be so extreme? Is she trying to bug me, or put me outside of my own social circle?? Is she angry that I want to be friends? Why can't she accept that if she has the right to not want to be with me as a partner, I have the right to not want to be a friend of hers? Why doesn't she respect the fact that I need people of my own to have fun with? Is she trying to 'force me' to be friends? How's that behaviour for a friend? This is just absurd! It drives me crazy and I'm s*ck of it!! I feel angry and frustrated and hurt by my 'friends', who don't seem to care. I'm also having a really difficult time opening up about this to them. I don't want to be a whino, and I don't want to get pitiful reactions, I hate that, but I want all of these nonsense to stop. All I want is to move on and have some people I can count on. Is that really too much to ask for? Link to comment
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