Thoughts on this situation?

[O-shen]

Well I thought i would give online dating a go. I am still kind of healing from my previous break up, i will admit that, but i am feeling alot better than what i was. Just wanted to kinda see whats out there i guess.

 

Anyway, I have never done online dating before. I get along with people really easy in real life, but online is a bit different. I soon worked out that you need to stand out, so i devised a very funny opener that i flicked out to those that sparked my interest. I get alot of replies back, but generally only 1 or 2, but i am not to phased as i am only testing the waters really.

 

I havent been on the site long and last week i got a reply from a pretty young lass she lives about 500kms ( 250miles?) away so thats a bit of a bummer, but i wasnt just going to cut her because of that. We exchanged 2 or 3 messages before i went away for a week. When i got back i shot her off another message, but got no reply. I figured she must of just faded like the rest. But a week later i got a message saying hi and sorry about the late reply, that she doesnt go on the site much anymore, but glad i replied.

 

I used this as an opportunity to suggest giving her my e-mail, or prehaps facebook, so we could exchange msg's there instead. She replied and gave me her full name to search on face book. I found her and friended her yesterday, and within half an hour she had accepted. I went straight to her page and photo's and had a bit of a snoop ( as ya do) , but i shouldnt have felt bad, as i noticed she was liking alot of my photo's and posts at the same time.

 

We exchange a few msgs over facebook, and SHE eventually says, well WE SHOULD WORK SOMETHING OUT. sounds good to me. I replied " waht did you have in mind? oh and have a good weekend"

She said " thanks I will, but i do want us to meet up sometime, what do you suggest?"

I said i could drive over there one weekend, stay at a hotel for the night and drive back the next day, lifes to short not to take chances i guess.

I was kind of suprised when she said " well you are welcome to stay at mine, you just get yourself here, and i will sort out accom. xox."

I said thats really nice ( was going to ask can a bring my axe too? as she knows i have a good sense of humour, but i thought that may be pushing it) and stated she didnt have to do that, that i will bring a tent incase she turfs my a$$ lol. She has said any weekend is good for her.

 

NOW............heres my question. I am not looking at this like i may be meeting my soulmate or anything like that. We do seem to have a fair bit in common, by checking out her likes and convo's on facebook, so i think we would have a good time regardless. I dont mean to sound negative, more realistic, when i say the way things are today, the odds of anything major developing are against us. Living so far apart as well as other things, but really i am cool with that, i kinda feel like " why not anyway? Take a leap of faith and have some fun".

 

But here's some facts that i cant ignore but...

 

1) We havent spoken aboutwhat we do for a living ( not that it really matters)

2) we haven't spoken about any of our future ambitions.

3) we havent actually even talked on the phone, let alone exchanged numbers.

4)To be honest we havent talked about much AT ALL! just light banter really!!

5) We become friends on facebook, It only takes 9hrs and she is offering me to stay at her house....odd much?

 

She is quite attractive, and although a little wild sometimes, seems she has a quieter side. But this is all guesswork really. I also notice she has come from a previous LTR of 7 years, about the same length as mine, so she must have some good qualities to hold a relationship together for that period of time. Anyway, i guess i just find it odd that a good looking female ( 3 years my younger) would offer for someone they barely know, have never met or even spoken too, a place to stay?

 

Is it odd? Or just me being odd?

 

Advice and opinions appreciated.

[Ready4anything]

It is a bit odd for her to offer you a place to stay. I myself would be cautious and not offer up my place to a complete stranger. But then again, she may find you to be a genuine person through facebook, email, and messaging.

[O-shen]

Thats the only thing i could come up with. Facebook takes you from the realm of possible axe welding stalker to ACTUAL person with PROVEN friends, hobbies, conversations. Either that, or she is very trusting. Is it worth going for the drive?

 

Thanks for the reply.

[Daligal83]

I think it's strange that she is offering for you to stay at her house so quickly. Crazy people have Facebook accounts and friends too. It doesn't mean anything. I would say go if you want, but stay at a hotel.

[White]

I think it's strange that she is offering for you to stay at her house so quickly. Crazy people have Facebook accounts and friends too. It doesn't mean anything. I would say go if you want, but stay at a hotel.

 

I agree with the post above.

[Iheartbacon]

It is definitely strange, I wouldn't even want you to know where my house is before the first meeting! Daligal is right, crazy people have facebook accounts and long term relationships. If you decide she's worth the trip, please stay at a hotel.

[mines]

I don't find it strange at all, perhaps she just has a good 'gut feeling' about you. After all, you are a nice guy, and NOT a serial killer, right? I highly doubt she is an axe murderer, either, lol. I have met many friends (only 2 romantically) online (neither on a dating site) and I have invited several of them to stay at mine, if/when they travel to the U.S. One did take me up on that, and it was splendid. I am very picky about whom I choose to talk with, even online, and if I invite someone, then I feel good (obviously) about the person.

 

True, it's a bit quick, but then maybe she feels as you do, also, in that life is too short not to take chances! That is just one more thing the two of you have in common.

 

The way I look at it, I'm an adult woman, and I am free to invite whom I please to stay at my house, if I wish, and I can take care of myself. I need protection from no one. Sounds to me like she's a very self-confident woman. You truly have nothing to lose. You could meet a crazy stalker online and she'd ask you to stay in a hotel, haha. Just because she's being hospitable, doesn't mean there's anything 'off' about her! Just my 2 cents

[O-shen]

Thanks for the replies.

 

I too like most of you felt like it was a bit odd.

 

But like mines, i also felt that way 2, hence why i asked.

 

For the record, i am NOT afraid about My personal safety. If she turned out to be a chainsaw welding physco, well i guess that would be my own fault, at least it would be an interesting way to go.

 

So yeah, i wasnt worried about my safety or anything, more why someone would be so trusting so quickly. She has no reason not to be as i am a genuine guy, with good intentions, but what if i was a guy who wasnt who i said they were ?

 

Anyway, i guess i will see what happens.

[camus154]

There's nothing wrong with seeing where this will go, of course, but I do question why you aren't limiting potential dates by proximity. Relationships are hard enough; LDRs are insufferable. Since you're just starting out with online dating, why not be more selective?

[O-shen]

To be honest, i live in a smallish town, for many years. I know heaps of people here, and obviously so does my ex. I am just not ready to openly search for a girl in the same town, when everyone knows everyone, and rumours start. I know i shouldnt care, but i do, i would feel horrified if my ex knew i was on a dating site. I guess it seems kind of desperate, and i fear being ridiculed and possibly hurt further by her. I'd just rather pass on the local scene............for NOW.

 

I would rather take a drive somewhere new and have a fun weekend away. I probably wouldnt do a long distance relationship, but i say that now, its amazing what you actually do when you meet the right person.