dabbledave Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 “Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.” -- Buddha Hello friends and fellow eNAers, It sucks to feel sad. It sucks to feel anxious. It sucks to feel angry. It sucks to feel worthless. What is the source of each of those feelings? Is it what has happened between you and your loved one? Or is it how you THINK about what happened between you and your loved one? Do you agree that what happened between you and your ex in the past is something you cannot now change; not by thought, word, nor deed? If so, by default, the only thing making you feel so terrible right now is how you THINK about what happened in the past, how you THINK about the present, and how you THINK about the future. It is easy for someone to say "think positively" or "develop a positive mental attitude", but it is hard to do in practice, especially if you're logically minded. Here's a simple little logic-based technique you can apply when you are aware of bad feelings. This can be applied in relation to your feelings as someone grieving the loss of a relationship. It can also be applied to any negative feeling about any other aspect of your life -- work, health, money, family, etc. Identify the negative feeling. What am I feeling? Identify the thought(s) behind the feeling. What am I thinking to make me feel that way? Identify the assumptions behind the thought(s). Why do I think this way? Challenge your assumptions with more positive alternatives. Construct a thought to reflect the more positive assumptions. Focus on that more positive thought for a while. And smile. Identify how you are feeling now. Am I feeling better? Promise yourself that you will be more aware of the thoughts behind your feelings. Try it now. Post your rationale and reasoning right here in this thread. DD Link to comment
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