Really long, this is my ENTIRE story, would really like an opinion on what to do

[Zxascvdf]

So here's my story

We got together in august 2010, spent an awesome 11 months together (possibly the best year of my life, and I'm not just saying that) then in late July we broke up, when i asked her why she said it wasn't my fault and I had nothing to do with it (which is BS, obviously i did) so i only waited three days before messaging her on fb (big mistake, i know.) she was being very friendly, it was weird.

 

So i check her Facebook profile (This i really regret) and lo and behold some random guy i've never heard of (Lets call him Eric, obviously names have been changed) is posting on her wall with smiley faces and flirting a little bit.

 

About a week later I called her up and asked why we REALLY broke up, she said the little things started bothering her and she just lost feeling in the relationship (It just wasn't the same) she said she was sorry and felt really bad about this because it wasn't mutual and she didn't want me to feel bad. Oddly enough we stayed in mutual contact for about a month (texted every other day or so)

 

Then I made a huge mistake, i went over to her house to drop off a shirt she left at my house only to talk to her dad who said she just got out of the shower and couldn't talk, when i got home she messaged me on Facebook and i told her when she had a minute i wanted to ask her a question on the phone, so she called me about 5 minutes after that.

 

While we were on the phone the first thing she did was complement my shoes (She had seen them from the window) and we just started talking, Eventually i did what i originally wanted to do and 1) cleared up something i had heard (that she dumped me for a guy named chris, which was not true) and 2) ask if she wanted to try again, i got a "Maybe, i dont know what's in the future and i don't want to just shut you out!"

 

So after that i got to thinking and figured that she was just keeping me around as a backup plan, i asked a mutual friend to ask her if it really was a maybe and not a "NO but i dont want to hurt you so im just going to say maybe"

a few days laiter i got this text from the friend

 

"She said she was thinking about it and she dosent really see it happening, but she dosent know what the future holds or anything, she wants you to move on and she dosent want to hold you back"

Then after i thanked her i got this text form the same person

"She changed her mind, its a no, there's no way she is going to get back with you"

 

This confused the * * * * out of me because apparently this girl was able to completely change her mind in 30 seconds

 

After a week of NC directly following this incident my ex contacted me, i agreed with the breakup and \ asked if she would like to go to the mall with me for an hour, see if the friendship can work. She agreed and we set a day. When i got to the mall she was sitting on the bench... with her friend Natalie, I was kind of offended but just went with it, we ended up having an awesome time, I was meeting some friends at the movies later and told her that, she seemed concerned and started asking who i was meeting up with and if i was seeing anyone, i just didn't answer her because i kind of wanted her to be jealous.

 

We again start texting every so often, mutual initiated contact, however she is extremely dry, I was going on a camping trip and i decided to go into NC once i got back. I spent 3 days in the woods and loved every second of it.

 

When i got back we were in NC for about a week when she contacts me again (this is mid October, 3 months after the BU), we have a nice chat and i say im crazy busy and have to go.

 

Recently, i found out that the day she contacted me (October 9th) was also the day she made out with that Eric guy at a party. Needless to say i was shocked, this is NOTHING like her (we didn't even kiss for the first 3 months of the relationship because we wanted to be sure we had something) We go into NC for another two weeks and then the day before her birthday (October 24) she contacts me. We text for a few hours and i say i have to go to bed because I have to get up early tomorrow. I didn't wish her a happy birthday.

 

This brings me to the present. She isn't in a relationship with Eric but they chill often (or so i heard from a mutual friend) and i really just dont know if i should go into NC or not, please, lend me your knowledge.

 

As far as healing goes, we didn't go into a long period of NC but I've managed to get a lot of healing done on my own.

As a side note, whenever we text she is cold\dry, even if she initiated the conversation. She also has a friend who I talk to often, whenever i talk to said friend she ALWAYS asks me what im doing and if im with anyone (specifically if im with a "special lady friend")

 

Thanks for reading the post, i know it was long but hell i wanted you to know the entire story

[Angler]

Forget about being her friend right now. Do you get upset when other friends of yours make out with guys? Of course not. You're now where near being in a place to be her friend.

 

Go all out NC for a while (her friend too).

 

I can't say what will happen with you and her - sounds like you're both young - but if you do want her back this is your best bet.

[gluestick]

Have you ever had a toy that you really loved playing with, then for whatever reason (you got bored, toy got broken, or you simply stopped liking it) you don't want it anymore and leave it favor of new toys lying around? But when other kids want to play it, you turn possessive of your toy even though you no longer have any use for it. It's the same thing that's happening to you. When you're busy having your own life, she comes running back to you playing the "friend" card or checking to see if you've already moved on with "special lady friends". When you're texting/calling her, she hardly seems to care or respect your feelings. Do yourself a big favor and stop being her doormat! She's keeping you around as a backup plan in case her new flings don't work out. Do you really want a girl like that back in your life? Regardless if she's doing all this intentionally or not, it's selfish and immature. It only serves her interests, while you keep getting hurt. If you continue to be in contact with her or try to be "just friends", the only one who's going to be hurting is yourself. So go NC ASAP. You guys sound young, I'm sure you'll have plenty of opportunities to meet girls who deserve your love and attention.

[Zxascvdf]

Forget about being her friend right now. Do you get upset when other friends of yours make out with guys? Of course not. You're now where near being in a place to be her friend.

 

Go all out NC for a while (her friend too).

 

I can't say what will happen with you and her - sounds like you're both young - but if you do want her back this is your best bet.

 

Very true, never thought of it that way, and i think NC is the best way to go right now, but do i really have to go NC with her friend (we're mutual friends and shes a very nice girl) is there anyway I can say something like "Sorry but that's my private life" and not answer her question? or would she be offended if i did this?

 

Have you ever had a toy that you really loved playing with, then for whatever reason (you got bored, toy got broken, or you simply stopped liking it) you don't want it anymore and leave it favor of new toys lying around? But when other kids want to play it, you turn possessive of your toy even though you no longer have any use for it. It's the same thing that's happening to you. When you're busy having your own life, she comes running back to you playing the "friend" card or checking to see if you've already moved on with "special lady friends". When you're texting/calling her, she hardly seems to care or respect your feelings. Do yourself a big favor and stop being her doormat! She's keeping you around as a backup plan in case her new flings don't work out. Do you really want a girl like that back in your life? Regardless if she's doing all this intentionally or not, it's selfish and immature. It only serves her interests, while you keep getting hurt. If you continue to be in contact with her or try to be "just friends", the only one who's going to be hurting is yourself. So go NC ASAP. You guys sound young, I'm sure you'll have plenty of opportunities to meet girls who deserve your love and attention.

 

I doubt this is on propose, she was never the type to play games. Ill definitely go full out NC. I need more time to heal, I see that now.

 

I guess i kinda did this in the wrong order, i know you usually go NC then change yourself but I changed myself (the parts i didn't like, my immaturity, my lack of self-confidence, my weight, and inability to listen) and now ill go into NC

 

As as for us being young, yeah were pretty young as far as couples go, but its not like were 14 or anything

 

Thanks for the help! Wish me luck!

[AngelAmber]

go NC with her and her friend, goodluck and keep working on yourself even if u dont think u need to, it still gives u a sense of purpose u can do it!