finding love in your late 20's

[Banlieue]

I live in a city but I have a hard time meeting nice, single men my around age (late twenties/early 30's). Most of the nice men I meet are in serious relationships.

 

Does anyone my age recognize this problem? Or do you have a different opinion on this?

 

For example, most of my male colleagues of this age category are taken, same goes for most of my male friends.

 

Does anyone else experience this? Do you also have very few male friends or colleagues that aren't taken? Or do you know plenty that aren't in a relationship?

 

I'd love to hear other people's opinion/stories about this!

[Fudgie]

My parents met in their late 20s while both were in professional school. My advice (beyond the usual single-meetups, asking your friends if they know potential dates, online dating) is to look at grad students. Sure, several are coupled up but many of them may be going to school away from home/college, and they may be single now. That happens. They also may be more likely to have put off "settling down" until they are more established in their career, which they are close to doing.

 

You can always take a class or two, attend talks, look at the grad schools in the area and see what sort of events they hold and offer to the public.

[Ready4anything]

When you find out let me know, I am in the same boat (31).

[Madison12]

I live in DC and young, single professionals are a dime a dozen. I honestly have no problem meeting single men and I'm 32. I am getting hit on by a lot of younger men lately also, which I can't figure out. I think they figure because I'm in my 30's that I must be a wild cat in bed. haha

[22n32]

Coffee shops, bookstores.. grocery stores are great from 5-7pm u see tons of single people getting dinner to take home and eat alone.. work and social gathering. I've gotten dates from all of these places..

[chr8st8na]

Might be where u r at too... There's quite actually a tons of single late 20s/ easrly 30s where I live.

[Batya33]

I originally met my husband when we were in our late 20s, at work. In my late 20s I lived in a major city teeming with singles and I had little difficulty meeting single men in my age group to date. I met them at singles events, parties, through friends, through work/professional events and through written personal ads (this was basically pre-internet!). Having said that the dating scene is a real challenge and I found that being proactive about it was the best way to be (although I let the men do the asking out at least in the beginning of dating, that seemed to work best for me and most of the people I knew in those olden days, 17 years ago.....)

[Stay_home]

I live in DC and young, single professionals are a dime a dozen. I honestly have no problem meeting single men and I'm 32. I am getting hit on by a lot of younger men lately also, which I can't figure out. I think they figure because I'm in my 30's that I must be a wild cat in bed. haha

 

I stopped looking to be honest, I'm not at all putting as much emphasis into dating as I once did before. I learned a long time ago not to do that but instead just to enjoy your life and not live under the pressure of meeting anybody. DC definitely has a ton of single folks here, but the difference is that not all of them are looking for the same thing.

[White]

i'm 27 and I'm tired of trying to find a partner. So I gave up. If the right person approaches me- ok, if not, then life is pretty cool as it is

[Banlieue]

I live in DC and young, single professionals are a dime a dozen. I honestly have no problem meeting single men and I'm 32.

 

Might be where u r at too... There's quite actually a tons of single late 20s/ easrly 30s where I live.

 

would you consider those singles 'relationship material' (good, decent guys who are not only interested in getting laid)?

[Banlieue]

also, Madison12 and chr8st8na, did you meet all those single guys on dating sites or did you meet them in other situations like work, through friends etc?

[chr8st8na]

would you consider those singles 'relationship material' (good, decent guys who are not only interested in getting laid)?

You know this is a tough question... You just never know. I give you an example... personal esample.

The guy I am currently dating, we met on a blind date and he told me that he didn't have a lot of time on his hands. So I just thought he was just meeting me up for sex or in hopes of getting sex. He's divorced, works grave yard shifts and full custody of his daughter BUT he's good-looking. I really didn't see any long term potential with him. He pursued me a lot in the first three weeks but after that, he stopped and I really thought that was it too because he got what he wanted. But he kept pursuing me more when I stopped contacting him. Haha... Still going and I can say our 5th month, our dating has become stable just because our communication and meet-ups are habitual now.

Now the guy before him.... Everyone knew him, everyone like him, he was intelligent, artistic and very thoughtful of other people. He would send $$ to Mexico for his family there. But he really was NOT good-looking (like even in different lighting) and everyone thought I was blind for going out with him (haha). I thought he was like the most noblest man I ever dated, until I realized all he wanted was sex. Never contacted me only if he wanted sex.

So you just never know.... Plus people do have a change of heart when they get to know you too so you can never just dismiss someone because that's what they wanted in the first place.

[Banlieue]

I live in DC and young, single professionals are a dime a dozen. I honestly have no problem meeting single men and I'm 32.

 

I originally met my husband when we were in our late 20s, at work. In my late 20s I lived in a major city teeming with singles and I had little difficulty meeting single men in my age group to date.

 

were those single guys looking for serious relationships or did they just want to 'have fun'? Would you consider them to be the kind of people that like to get laid a lot etc? Were they still single in their late 20s/early 30s because they just didn't want to be in a serious relationship before they reached that age? or did they come out of long term relationships?

[Batya33]

were those single guys looking for serious relationships or did they just want to 'have fun'? Would you consider them to be the kind of people that like to get laid a lot etc? Were they still single in their late 20s/early 30s because they just didn't want to be in a serious relationship before they reached that age? or did they come out of long term relationships?

 

The vast majority of men I went on dates with wanted a serious relationship leading to marriage. Most were not yet married because they had been in grad school/were working on their careers (sort of like me although I started grad school after breaking an engagement at age 23). I always hated the term "still single" because we don't say that married people are "still married" with the same connotation. The men who wanted casual sex typically weren't interested in me.

[Banlieue]

I read somewhere that 71% of men have been married by age 30 (and 16% of those have been divorced). So 55% (71-16) are married at 30 and 45% of men are not. But I'd guess a large percentage of the men not married at 30 are in serious relationships. Plus there are also the guys who only want to 'have fun' at that age, so I think that only leaves a small percentage of available, eligible men looking for a single relationship...doesn't sound good and probably explains why most of my male friends and colleagues are taken

[lady00]

I live in a large city which I would assume has a ton of singles in it but I don't think that necessarily translates into being an easy place to be single and get dates especially if you are on the shy side. Most of my friends are married or otherwise taken but they met their significant others in college or grad school so that's a whole other story. I found it very easy to meet people in college, somewhat less so in grad school, and I haven't dated anyone since graduating. Of the people I know, men are more likely to be taken than women. I also know some people who have married and divorced before hitting 30. It's a mixed bag. I am not out in the dating world because quite frankly I can't be bothered to be and I'm content not being in a relationship. I think I am an anomaly though as most of my single friends are looking (or not looking but hoping to meet someone somehow. My impression from talking to my female friends is that it's hard to find someone who is looking for a serious relationship after leaving school. But you know that is a very small sample and my circle of friends may just be unusually unlucky in love.

[Batya33]

I read somewhere that 71% of men have been married by age 30 (and 16% of those have been divorced). So 55% (71-16) are married at 30 and 45% of men are not. But I'd guess a large percentage of the men not married at 30 are in serious relationships. Plus there are also the guys who only want to 'have fun' at that age, so I think that only leaves a small percentage of available, eligible men looking for a single relationship...doesn't sound good and probably explains why most of my male friends and colleagues are taken

 

What percentage of marriages were arranged or marriages of convenience (or gay men getting married for appearances?). I didn't have the experience you did when I was dating.

[quirky]

I really don't know because I work in the Arts and most men at work are gay. I also don't do online dating. Truth is it's more likely for women to be single because we are more picky. BUT, late 20s early 30s is a good time to meet a guy because they are usually after something more serious too by that age. The few I met 2 years ago seemed to want something long term.

[Elsewhere]

On the same boat but here's my paradox: men in this age range I meet are either taken or not interested in anything serious - which concludes if only ther were interested, they would've been taken too lol

What I dont have a problem with is getting offers from hot MARRIED men! ugh! what a life, first i'm feeling sorry for myself, then more sorry for their wives