How long in a relationship do you think is the minimum amount till you marry?

[Pinnacle]

Funny, not only do I have to worry about the maximum time I can date a girl until the "long term relationship" expires and must be renewed as "marriage" I need to worry about the ring too. Hope she likes ring pops.

 

To be honest, the only thing a minimum or a maximum tells me is that someone wants the marriage more than they want the person. Or someone is so worried about marriage that the perfect person in the world could never be good enough.

[redrose85]

You can view it however you like, but the fact is that a proposal seems to be the ultimate “I love you” and marriage is something many people want before starting a family.

[Batya33]

You can view it however you like, but the fact is that a proposal seems to be the ultimate “I love you” and marriage is something many people want before starting a family.

 

I agree and while it's fine not to want marriage I am tired of the criticism of someone caring more about "marriage" than the person. When I was dating I only dated men who wanted to get married as part of their goals in life and it wasn't about caring about an institution more than a person -it was about wanting a marital commitment with the right person and realizing that a person who didn't want a marital commitment ever was by definition not going to be the right person.

[Kaytie]

Well...with my ex we waited 8 YEARS to move in together (common law - we never made it legal even though it's legal here) and she left 4 years after that. You'd think you'd be sure after 8 years but....apparently not!

[OptomisticGirl]

You can view it however you like, but the fact is that a proposal seems to be the ultimate “I love you” and marriage is something many people want before starting a family.

 

Exactly. If you know you want marriage I think it's best to be up front - no one who wants marriage wants to date someone who is on the fence about it. I most certaintly wouldn't have wanted to waste my time with someone who didn't know when I could be looking for someone who shared my views on it.

[Unknown1607307972]

For me, marriage is something I change my mind on a lot. I am not afraid of commitment but rather the complex legalities and the potential of divorce. Especially as a childfree person, I have heard so many horror stories of childfree people who got married and were with their partner for years and then found out that their spouse wanted kids after all and was just expecting them to change their mind. A break up would be painful enough but a divorce would extra tough. My boyfriend has sworn that he is ok with my views and takes them seriously but it's hard for me to shake the fear.

 

If I ever do get married, it won't be for a few years yet. I need to establish myself first, have a stable job, and be a little older (I personally wouldn't marry under 25). I'm in a great relationship with my boyfriend, he's really good to me and he makes me happy. We live together, I moved countries for him. That's enough for now, I feel too young for anything else and so does he.

 

Of course what works for me isn't what works for everyone, some people get married quickly and last a lifetime. There's no global timescale, just individual ones.