O-shen Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 I just dont know what to do really. I just keep saying to myself i need time and to wait it out. I have read so many post's on here that are simmilar, so i know i am not the only one to feel like this. I have had 2 weeks off work, and although i went on a trip for 1 week, ever since i have been home, i have barely left the house. I just dont have the motivation. I cant be bothered socializing or talking on the phone, even to my family. Everyday i wake up, i just cant be bothered getting out of bed. I have simply lost my lust for life. The worse thing is, things AREN'T that bad. I have a good job, which just yesterday i was informed i have been promoted to assistant manager, a good car, money in the bank, No debt whatsoever, I am healthy, fit and reasonable looking. Ever since my break up some months ago, life has been a rollercoaster, but has now settled into a dull ebb, which i know i have helped initiate. I have smoked ciggarette's for 15yrs now, and since returning from my trip, i have quit cold turkey. I have bought patches, but havent needed them so far. I also bought a home gym, and even though i spend most time in bed just chilling, i make an effort to go out and push myself for at least an hour every day. So is not as though i have NO motivation, and have lost all hope, i guess i just feel like i am just doing what i have to do. Normally i would be impressed with some of my latest efforts, but i just dont care, i just do them without thinking. I guess, summed up, I am still hurting over my ex and i know in my head i have mentally written off the rest of this year. A few weeks back i was going out and getting drunk as, and i soon realised, this wasn't going to fix my problems. I even managed to have a one nighter with someone 10 years younger than myself, who also messaged me after wanting to catch up again, but it was then that i realised i wasnt fixing myself, and politely blew her off. I guess i'm not really asking anything, just venting. I said it well to a friend the other day, that when i am in a relationship - i do "chill" well. But when i am single, i am jumpy and agitated, and its hard just to take time out and just chill alone. I am doing it though, and i am gathering knowledge about myself and certain situations i have been through. I just wonder when i will be normal again, happy and laughing, and enjoying life, instead of just enduring it. Link to comment
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