Online dating site etiquette (setting up a meeting).

[blueidealist24]

Sorry if this sounds neurotic but I am new to online dating!!

 

Yesterday this guy sent me a message asking me if I was free for coffee or drinks this weekend. He lives like 30-45 minutes away from me and we were chatting on Plenty of Fish and msn. I lied that I was going away this weekend (I actually have a huge zit and hope it is gone soon - lmao) but I said I wanted to meet the NEXT weekend if he is free. I know this was kind of bad, but if he saw the grotesque zit and a few other smaller zits I have I would never get a second date. I also asked him if he could come to my area since I didn't know if I was going to have a car to drive.. he used to come out to this area a lot to see his ex, he said in our conversation. Anyway, he never replied to my message. I'm not THAT concerned because it's only the next day, but I've seen him on. I think either..

 

a) he doesn't want to come all the way out to my town, up to 45 min away and I don't really blame him, or

b) he doesn't plan as far as two weekends ahead and isn't going to answer until later - btw, was that wrong of me to put it off for two weeks? I really should have just gone on the day he asked, shouldn't I have, if I didn't want to get blown off? Crap! I was also a little scared since it would be my first meeting of someone I only talked to online..

 

He also posted this pic on his facebook that showed a girl's face that said 'facebook you' and a picture of a fat chick that said 'real you.' He's never seen me in real life so I know it's not about me. I'm not fat anyway. But I think that maybe he is talking to multiple people and meeting them and he recently met a girl who was fat in real life.. dating multiple people could be a good reason for not getting back to me fast, especially not setting up a meeting time far in advance. Also there's a post on his facebook complaining that he wasted his time and gas money going somewhere for the woman not to show up or something, a couple of weeks ago, making me think maybe he's NOT into driving 45 min to see me.

 

Anyway, what do you think? Is this a blow off or should I just be more patient in waiting for a response? Next time I won't put off the 'meeting' unless I really have to.

[Galaxo]

I usually ask in the first message, and no more than three messages before meeting. Online is not the same as in person so would not chat/mail much before meeting.

 

I would not be opposed to waiting that long, I doubt I would commit that far in advance. You could be seeing what other options pop up, not very interested and likely to flake etc. OR you could be Lying about going out of town and have a huge zit or something, since there are a few more you must get them so often and might intend to always disappear during those times.

[rustyskyline]

The real question is what were you doing on a dating site if you weren't ready to be dating?

 

I always ask during the first encounter but if a woman put me off for a week or two I would presume that she either had too many other dates on her docket or that she was otherwise too busy to be dating. Either way I'd move on and maybe check back later.

 

If all you were ready for was some chat time than you should have been in a chat room.

[blueidealist24]

Well, next time I won't put the meeting off so much.. I guess I'll just wait and see if he messages me before next weekend or not. If not, I'll either forget about him or ask him if he still ever wants to meet.. depends on how interested I still feel/who else comes up.

 

Oh and I am ready to be dating. This was just the first person who asked me to meet and I didn't think we had clicked that much online so I was surprised that he even asked me. It was just my knee-jerk reaction out of nervousness to put it off a little while (and the zit too! lol).

[Stay_home]

Oh and I am ready to be dating. This was just the first person who asked me to meet and I didn't think we had clicked that much online so I was surprised that he even asked me. It was just my knee-jerk reaction out of nervousness to put it off a little while (and the zit too! lol).

 

What are you nervous about?

[blueidealist24]

What are you nervous about?

 

Well, I'm just generally shy. If I knew the person in real life I would be shy too, but it seems more nerve wracking when I've never met/seen the person at all. I also have not dated in two years (on purpose) because of being frustrated with men/having financial problems/being in university. However now that I've graduated and paid off my student loan debt, even though I still don't really have a career yet, I feel like dating again. So I went to online dating since I don't have a lot of places to meet people now that I'm not in school and don't have as much time to go out to bars either (I do have a job, just not a career).

[Stay_home]

Well, I'm just generally shy. If I knew the person in real life I would be shy too, but it seems more nerve wracking when I've never met/seen the person at all. I also have not dated in two years (on purpose) because of being frustrated with men/having financial problems/being in university. However now that I've graduated and paid off my student loan debt, even though I still don't really have a career yet, I feel like dating again. So I went to online dating since I don't have a lot of places to meet people now that I'm not in school and don't have as much time to go out to bars either (I do have a job, just not a career).

 

As long as you're doing something with your life, not neccessarily a career. But if you're working and doing your very best to make ends meet I don't see what's wrong with a date or two whenever you feel up to it. If at all you do and if not that shouldn't be a problem.