Am I doing the right thing here?

[Anonymous 6]

So I have been in a relationship for about 2 and a half years, our relationship has been rocky to say the least, and inconsistent at best. He has hurt me in almost every way imaginable (non violent however). We were in the process of trying to work through infidelity and get our relationship back on track. However, now we just seem so different, the spark in our relationship seems to have died. We have had this problem before as well, many times; Going to spend the weekend together to recapture our love is something that I've always loved doing. and When we go on these "trips", I loved it! But when we get back from our "mini honeymoon" were 1000 miles apart all over again. Bottom line, I feel alone almost all the time, even when he is around; 9 times out of 10 lately I think I would rather be single, and when I step back and look at his qualities, the majority of them I don't like. However the one I do is his affection, He has always been a very affectionate person. He is the type to cuddle, kiss my forehead, hold my hand etc. I feel that out of everyone I dated, no one was cutesy with me the way that he was, and that was my favorite part about the relationship. Needless to say, I just broke up with him tonight, I feel that if there are so many things I don't like about him, and I don't see much of a future with him anymore, then I probably shouldn't be with him right? I keep thinking in my head I won't be able to find someone else who snuggles and kisses me the way he does, but are those things as important as his inability to keep track of finances?? his laziness?? his cheating etc? Am I doing the right thing by leaving?? For some reason, I don't feel all that upset right now, I feel somewhat lost but I feel that I should be hurting worse. Will it sneak up on me and hurt me when I am least expecting?? How can I get through this without falling to pieces/??

[Joanne19852010]

Hello...i keep thinking that about my ex too..he always held my hand everywhere we went and always showed me affection and i wonder if those little things are irreplaceable but if i'm being honest with myself...they aren't...i can't tell you you won't fall to pieces..i think everyone does...i still am myself but what i would say is you made the decision for a reason and from reading your post you didn't take it lightly...i'm scared of my future right now too but i was told on here to stop thinking about the future...we can't control it and live in the present...take some time maybe go on one of the trips you usually go on with your ex with a friend instead and see how you feel...maybe while your out of the relationship you will be able to see clearly what you want.

[Anonymous 6]

I know that I need to stop thinking about my future so much, but If I am having to fight so much to be happy now in my relationship, I don't want that to be my future.

[Joanne19852010]

Then i think in all honesty you answered your own question

[mhowe]

Then i think in all honesty you answered your own question

 

great advice. Relationship are supposed to fun (yes, they take effort)....but at the end of the day, you should be happier and more secure. Not feeling like you are settling.

[calidreamin]

OH MAN.

I feel in your SAME shoes.

 

I love him, but I feel like if its this hard to keep a relationship going. What will marriage be like?

or kids?

 

I sort of feel like if its this hard in the beginning... its only going to get worse. Everyone has told me to move on and breakup with him.

But its hard, I love him. At the same time the idea of it does not make me cry either. ugh. Its hard. My friend summed it up 'at some point

its marriage or break up' its that simple. If you don't get that vibe from him... then its time to quit it.