RiverLife Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 I've been dating my girlfriend for 13 months, I am 22 and she's 19. A few months in the relationship she said that she has been raped a few months earlier and her depression cycle began shortly after. During this time I considered the relationship new and fresh but felt so badly for her I didn’t want to leave. I fell for her, we had many good times and I didn’t want to see her like this. She eventually went through a very dependent phase where she wanted me to be there for her constantly. I lost a lot of free time and friends because I felt bad. I just kept thinking that helping her would strengthen the relationship. While helping she decided to go to the same 4 year college that I was going to attend. Eventually with time she followed me to the same college, with the same major, and half the same classes. When college started I slowly became depressed because I’ve lost a lot of friends through moving. During this time I wasn’t the most attentive to her needs. Eventually a few weeks later I told her of how I was feeling. I began started taking anti anxiety and depression meds. Eventually she began talking to another guy that talks to her constantly. I told her it bothers me, I want her to have friends but this guy talks to her constantly in the middle of the night to early morning. Even when I’m spending time with her she constantly texts him. I told her it bothers me, I want her to have friends but I think its rude how often she talks to this guy and little me. She eventually started to have friends due to her room mate and she began putting more of her priority from her friends. I told her that I’ve been feeling depressed and would like some more time with her, she constantly tells me that shes being pulled in many directions. That she has to please her friends, school, and family. Eventually i began to be become clingy in the fear of losing her, but i ended up pushing her away. Here is the earlier post i posted. Hey ex/girlfriend tried to break up with me Wednesday saying how she wanted to remain friends. I told her politely that I couldn't remain friends because it would be too painful after spending 13 months with her. I told her that i loved her and i was willing to make things work out to strengthen our communication, because i admit that’s where I was failing as a boyfriend. She eventually went into a severe panic attack and I had to call her mom. After this her mom took care of her at my dorm at school, and eventually I left them to have their privacy. Very shortly after i got a text message saying please come in. I went into the dorm and the mother wanted to take my ex/girlfriend home. My ex/girlfriend asked me to come with her because she needed me. So I ended up driving an hour to get down to her house. While she relaxed for a while longer her mom eventually left. Then I asked, "I really need to know where I stand, am I your boyfriend or am i your ex?" She began crying and went into another panic attack. Her mom rushed back and through more talking the agreement was to let her think about what she wants and talk to me the next day. Eventually as I tried to leave the house she didn't want me to leave, so i stayed. She ended up kissing me saying she loved me and then i walked out the door. Eventually as i arrived at school, the same time i saw my ex/girlfriend getting dropped off by her car. She immediately ran towards me and grabbed my arm saying she missed me so much she couldn't leave me. That we need to talk about the relationship and strengthening the communication. The next night I slept very well, and eventually later that day she broke up with me. Officially of that moment I was considered the ex. I talked to her about everything i wanted and what she meant to me, i wrote down ways that we could strengthen our communication. She still cried. Eventually i asked her if I could take her to a spot on a river where we fell in love, she refused. I knew in my heart that I went down swinging. I tried everything that i could do. Later that night less then a few hours later she knocked on my dorm saying how she couldn't go a couple hours without seeing me and knowing how i was doing. She wanted to stay a little bit, and i explained that we couldn't keep doing this. That she had to make a choice to be with me, try again or leave. She still wanted to stay but she eventually left wanting to give me a hug and left. Eventually Friday came. I managed to get myself out of bed to go to classes with my heart broken. I still tried to be positive listening to my friends. She eventually texted me saying "Would you by any chance be free at 1pm", i replied "Why" then she said "I would like to talky to you, if you would give it a chance" Eventually we met and she discussed what made her happy and things we could do to help the relationship be stronger. Those objectives that she wanted in the relationship and objectives that I wanted in mine. She said she didn't want to get back together right now because she wanted a full day of relaxation with me and no distractions then start dating. And to start doing it right. She texted me saying, "How am i doing baby?" and stuff later in the day. Im still going through so much anxiety because i don't want her to change her mind again. It hurts so much to be this person that she changes minds on. That she can't decide and I'm just being there. I want things to work out so badly and I'm willing to give it a shot. But the jumping rope is killing me. I guess I can't really figure out what’s going to happen until later today. Eventually i got a call from her saturday where she broke up with me on the phone, and i called later in the day begging for a new chance for us and trying to make things work out. That i would help not put stress on her anymore. After this i started the no communication with hope of moving on or getting back together. Im not gonna lie though i really wanna get back together with her though. Im currently on day 4 of no communication with her, i see her every day but i don't say a word. She still hangs with this guy and her friends. Im at a loss. What should i do? and what should i expect? A mutual friend told me that she couldn't be in a relationship that was clingy and she needed to focus on school. But this guy still remains. I don't want to lose her but i still have hope for getting back together. Its hard to move on due to the fact that she lives down the hall in my dorm from me, this may be due to her previous clingyness. I just want to know am i doing the right thing that will help me and my relationship. I know the grammar really bad and so is the spelling, I'm just writing this down very quickly to vent somehow. I just need to know what people think and any advice. Its so painful to experience and i just want to be with her or be on the process of healing. I constantly worry too much and i love her. I just want to make things work out. Please help... Your friend J. Link to comment
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.