Why not?

[UglyAndGlad]

Is it OK to come here and whine? I was happy to be ugly for a while until some research I did pointed out to me what it actually means to be ugly. When you start to realize that you will be alone forever, and there's nothing you can do, it weighs on you a bit. Suicide is starting to seem like a better and better idea every day. In fact, it feels irresponsible to not kill myself. I have done some research into reasons to not kill myself and everything I've found has fallen into one of three categories.

 

1. Yahweh wouldn't like it.
   This argument is the one that I see the most. Any kind of "you'd go to Hell" or "the bible says not to" goes under this. This argument has absolutely no standing with me because I am atheist and anti-theist.
   
2. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
   This one seems somewhat logical at first. "You're sad now, but you'll get over it" seems to be the gist of it. But what if you're not really sad? You're just bored and lonely and ugly, and nothing is going to change those things. Being ugly is a permanent problem. Ugliness leads to loneliness and that leads to boredom.
   
3. People would be sad.
   I'm not gonna sit here and say "wah wah nobody loves me, so nobody will care." Yeah, a few people will be sad, but they'll get over it. My uncle killed himself and everyone was sad for a while, but life goes on. My family is exceptional at dealing with death. We all have a sort of "eh. it happens" attitude about it.
   

 

Anyway, I was wondering if somebody could come up with a good argument against suicide for me.

[turnera]

Well, here's one. When I was raising my DD21, I told her to look for boys to date who were NOT good looking. Why? Because guys who are good looking have had it easy, which means they're not going to be very nice people. I taught her that it's personality and niceness that matters, not looks; that looks will fade and then what are you left with? And I know a lot of people who agree with me. So odds are lots of other people have been raised the same way - knowing that looks are NOT who you are.

 

And don't you dare assume to know how your parents would feel if you killed yourself. Personally, if my daughter killed herself, I'd be dead the same day.

[blueidealist24]

Ugly isn't a permanent problem. You can fix whatever's wrong physically with yourself, usually. Hate your hair colour? Dye it. Hate your nose? Get a nose job. (I know this is maybe an exception for people without a lot of money). Think you're too fat? Go on a diet. Plus there are a lot of ugly people who aren't bored and sad. I see ugly men and women with life partners every day.. you just have to not care if you're physically ugly, forget about it, and let your real personality shine through and someone will see through it and like you.

[Tuffly]

When I had my dark hours, I worried that I would unsuccessful and live with irreversible damage. The thought of living with my mom and having to hear her every day if she were to take care of me scared the crap out of me more than suicide. I'm NOT trying to be funny. I'm serious.

 

I thought about getting my affairs in order so it would be easier for my family, but I never had the energy or money to fix up my place so they could sell it. I would have left a mess behind.

 

Then I confided in my brother and he pleaded with me to not do anything he would have to explain to his children. For some reason they adore me, and suicide does run in my family, so there will already be conversations about the subject in their future anyway. But he asked that I think of them more often and how much they looked up to me.

 

I am not too ashamed to tell my ENA friends that I have not won the war entirely. When I was getting treatment, I was told that I should be prepared for battles here and there. The hauntings do come back to flirt, but I have trained myself to adjust my perspective when they do. I try to remember that I can change things as best I can or accept them. Easier said than done, but possible. When I feel like I've been dealt a bad hand, I remember that while the house always wins, I don't have the worst hand either...

[dorado23]

why do you feel you are ugly? if you feel you are ugly this shows on the outside. Being happy about yourself shows on your face and people notice. Women like confident men, I have dated men in the past that were not good looking and a lot of my friends would tell me I was crazy or blind but i didnt care because they treated me nice and were always positive and I like to surround myself with positive people. Dont ever think you will be alone forever because that will make you feel depressed and it will affect your outward appearance. Be glad for how you look and dont feel like you have to look like those male models because they get work done to look perfect,no one is perfect. Just think that there is someone waiting for someone like you and if you commit suicide you will never get the chance to experience it because you gave up on you.

[thejigsup]

My big sister is not pretty. She could very well be called ugly. My late bf called her Fugly. She got married before I did and is still happiliy married, 34 years later. I am divorced. Her life is full, not empty. She has friends, a nice home, and a husband who loves her very much. She is pretty ugly, but her life is pretty sweet.

[Lester]

Well, here's one. When I was raising my DD21, I told her to look for boys to date who were NOT good looking. Why? Because guys who are good looking have had it easy, which means they're not going to be very nice people. I taught her that it's personality and niceness that matters, not looks; that looks will fade and then what are you left with? And I know a lot of people who agree with me. So odds are lots of other people have been raised the same way - knowing that looks are NOT who you are.

 

And don't you dare assume to know how your parents would feel if you killed yourself. Personally, if my daughter killed herself, I'd be dead the same day.

 

I can't say I have any experience with suicide but what Turnera said really struck a cord with me. Being attractive attracts people. The attractor thinks it’s because of them but it’s not. These shallow persons are only interested in your outside for selfish purposes.

 

If given the choice between being me and having one or two persons who know and love “me” vs. being really handsome with dozens falling all over me… I think I would choose me every time.

 

Sorry UglyandGlad I wish I could help more.

[turnera]

FTR, she tried both sides of the aisle. She's beautiful, had a modeling contract, but some of the boys she brought home, I have to say, were SO far from good looking even I was shocked; and she had told me that they were good looking! Do you know why? Because she was talking about their personality, not their looks. She sees the INNER beauty in people.

 

And the 2 or 3 guys who were the good looking ones, one was the hottest guy in school? Every one of them turned out to be a douchebag. She learned what's important. And I was right.

[UglyAndGlad]

Wow. Thanks for all the replies, guys.

 

Well, here's one. When I was raising my DD21, I told her to look for boys to date who were NOT good looking. Why? Because guys who are good looking have had it easy, which means they're not going to be very nice people. I taught her that it's personality and niceness that matters, not looks; that looks will fade and then what are you left with? And I know a lot of people who agree with me. So odds are lots of other people have been raised the same way - knowing that looks are NOT who you are.

 

The issue here is that ugly guys are genetically inferior to attractive guys. That's why ugly guys are considered ugly. It would be irresponsible of me to ever breed. Also, don't dismiss attractive guys completely. They tend to make more money, be smarter, have more confidence, and are less likely to be criminals.

 

And don't you dare assume to know how your parents would feel if you killed yourself. Personally, if my daughter killed herself, I'd be dead the same day.

 

This is a valid point. You're right. I couldn't guess how my dad would feel. Does it really matter, though? I know it sounds cold, but should you really go on living for the sole purpose of not hurting somebody's feelings? It seems like an empty existence.

 

Ugly isn't a permanent problem. You can fix whatever's wrong physically with yourself, usually. Hate your hair colour? Dye it. Hate your nose? Get a nose job. (I know this is maybe an exception for people without a lot of money). Think you're too fat? Go on a diet. Plus there are a lot of ugly people who aren't bored and sad. I see ugly men and women with life partners every day.. you just have to not care if you're physically ugly, forget about it, and let your real personality shine through and someone will see through it and like you.

 

Well, most of the stuff that's wrong with me is in my face. I don't really think I could do plastic surgery. I have plenty of money, but I'm worried about coming out looking like a monster. I've seen too many photos of people who got botched plastic surgery. I am fat, but I've been working on that. I've lost 40 pounds in the last six months or so. I guess, to put that number in perspective, I need to say that I am now 195 lbs at 6 ft tall. As sad as it sounds, losing weight is the only thing that keeps me going. I have a goal.

 

As hypocritical as it is, I want an attractive woman. Something like a 6 out of 10. I think the ugly people out there who aren't sad never learned what it means to be ugly.

 

why do you feel you are ugly? if you feel you are ugly this shows on the outside. Being happy about yourself shows on your face and people notice. Women like confident men, I have dated men in the past that were not good looking and a lot of my friends would tell me I was crazy or blind but i didnt care because they treated me nice and were always positive and I like to surround myself with positive people. Dont ever think you will be alone forever because that will make you feel depressed and it will affect your outward appearance. Be glad for how you look and dont feel like you have to look like those male models because they get work done to look perfect,no one is perfect. Just think that there is someone waiting for someone like you and if you commit suicide you will never get the chance to experience it because you gave up on you.

 

Well, I feel I am ugly because people tell me all the time. It was a running joke among my friends for a long time. Also, I do have a mirror in my bathroom. You say to be confident, but I'm not sure you realize what that's saying. I've no idea what I'm doing. I'm afraid to hold a girl's hand or try to kiss her because I can't imagine that she'd want to ever touch me. It's like you're telling me to be confident in the cockpit of an airplane when I've never flown a plane before.

 

As far as letting it show on the outside that I'm ugly, I don't think that's so much of an issue. People generally agree that I'm funny. I've even heard myself described as "wickedly funny" which made me laugh because it makes me sound like I'm this summer's best comedy. Also, I think I'm fairly good at talking to people and keeping them interested. I've talked to complete strangers on the phone for hours and had them call back to talk to me again. I doubt they would do that if I were some sort of constant downer.

 

Anyway, none of that helps because I know that nobody could ever really like me. I am viewed more as an entertainment device than a person. I never actually get invited to hang out with people and do stuff. When you are ugly, you are viewed as something slightly less than human. You see it on people's faces. Some women actually cross the street to get away from me. I see it on my daily walks that I'm doing to lose weight.

[turnera]

The issue here is that ugly guys are genetically inferior to attractive guys. That's why ugly guys are considered ugly. It would be irresponsible of me to ever breed.

*cough cough*

 

Say what?

 

You are less valuable than, say, my husband? Jim Jones? Ted Bundy? Prey tell, why is that? What's the logic?

 

And, genetically speaking, what YOU look like has nothing to do with whether your child will be good looking or not. He/she may have your eyes or nose or ears or hair, but he/she also may have some from your partner. And it's not a particular nose or eyes that makes one ugly or beautiful - it's the COMBINATION and the manner in which those items are put together. And that is completely up to chance.

[Mesemene]

Ok. let's look at what some people would consider major contributors to society.

 

Ghandi

Einstein

Lincoln

Socrates

Beethoven

 

They all make various top 10 lists for famous ugly people.

 

Yet, I doubt many of us would consider them "genetically inferior."

 

As turnera says, most of the time, it's the combination of features that's either pleasing, or not so much. And there's no telling what combination a child would inherit. I've seen gorgeous kids from very plain people, and very plain kids from families of "beautiful people."

[UglyAndGlad]

Nice. Name a few attractive people who did bad things or a few ugly people who did great things. If I happen to come up with an improved model of gravity, I'll let myself slide.

 

Women use the appearance of a man to determine how fit his offspring would be. Here's some reading if you're interested.

link removed

[UglyAndGlad]

It won't let me edit my post now, but I wanted to add this:

 

I know that some guy whining on a suicide forum probably doesn't rank highly in your estimation, but please don't insult my intelligence. Your arguments are the equivalent to saying that cigarette smoking is harmless because your grandfather smoked for 60 years, then got hit by a bus.

[turnera]

Not even.

 

My argument is that YOUR argument is completely a selfish one. Oh, no one likes me. Everyone avoids me. I'm so ugly people cross the street when they see me.

 

See?

 

I'm worthless.

 

Forget your personality.

 

Forget your intelligence.

 

Forget your subtle ability to sense feelings in people.

 

None of that matters.

 

Becuase you can't compete with Brad Pitt.

 

meh