On my last nerve!!!! PLEASE ADVISE

[Butterfly023]

Hi all, any advise is welcomed please...good or bad....

 

So I am a single mother and have a very smart (in gifted) 7 year old son...However, I am on my last nerve and obviously I am doing something wrong....I did not raise him to soooooo selfish, he is an only child (not sure if that means anything or not, I am not one so no experience)...He is always fighting and bossing around the friends in the neighborhood and then will do it to me....He always wants wants wants and I explain we don't have the $$, (dad doesn't pay court ordered child support) I'm sorry but maybe in time...but that is never good enough...He wants what he wants when he wants it...materialistic, his way, what he wants for dinner. I will go days and not eat ( or toast etc) while he has 5 plates of food...and I do without to give to my son...but NOTHING is ever good enough....I feel so guilty for feeling this way now, I feel taking advantage of, I feel as if nothing is appreciated, I feel like I'm just messing everything up....I am at a lost...I take away activities, I take away tv, comp etc...But he just doesn't seem to care.....He will say, I'm sorry, I love you, I'll never do it again...but then next day...same story. Everyone when I am not around says he is well behaved, uses his manners, never an issue...I understand he is just 7...but at what point does this stop? The eye rolling, the attitude, the talking back??? What am I doing wrong? Dad is the greatest thing since sliced bread (no rules at their house) and I'm the bad one? Do I just have it a free for all...then it would help? Would he grow to be an adult w/ no goals, dreams, respect? sense of life??

 

I am just so sick and tired at this point, i'm trying to raise him to be the best man he can be, but he has NO respect for me....Sorry for the ranting....Please help

[Moontiger]

Hi Butterfly, I think you really need to explore strong, consistent, boundaries with your son and well as find a new form of discipline.

You go days without eating while he has enough food for two or more kids? He needs to know that is not ok. For starters, every time he is bossy or does something against the rule give him one warning, if he continues he has a 5 minuet time out (a good rule is 1 minuet for each year of the child's age). If he screams about not having five plates of food, no dessert, no TV after dinner, no computer games.

 

The key is to be completely consistent. If you aren't then he will know he can get away with these things.