Life isn't worth living for/I can't go on like this

[CurrentlyLost]

I'm new to enotalone so,if I put this in the wrong category sorry.

 

I'm fifteen years old. I hate my life, It feels as if I am in a living hell. I wish I had a brother or sister to help me cope with this. But sadly I'm an only child. As cheesy as this sounds,music is my only friend.The only thing I can do to really cope with this is to write lyrics to songs I wrote. My parents rarely ever let me go anywhere so I am usually stuck at home,doing my work since I am homeschooled. My parents are hardly ever there for me,they are at work or running errands most of the time. It feels as if I'm alone 24/7. My older cousins never talk to me. Isn't family supposed to stay in contact with eachother throughout the year? Only on holidays they speak to me.I really have about zero friends,no one ever takes the time to make contact with me. Even on facebook my so called 'friends' never even say hello to me.When my parents are home with me,its hell we get into fights,a few days ago my parents started yelling at me and my mom got so mad she slammed the door on my finger.It doesn't hurt that much anymore since I immediately ran it under hot water,this was around 10 at night when they were yelling.

 

Sometimes,my mom does take me during the day to just walk and look around stores so I can get a little peace and break from staying at home. But this one time she waited in the car and I was walking around a Target and as I was walking two boys were making fun of me.Here is what they said to me.The first boy said "Wow she's tall" and then the second boy said "And ugly". I felt like crying but I held it in.

I walked out of the store after being in there for only ten minutes. I told my mom as soon as I got in the car but she said I was lying and didn't believe me. I was lost for words I didn't make any of that up to her,I can't stand getting picked on after all I go through. I am unsure of what to do.

[BrianH46]

Omg that's horrible but don't let what they said get to you there are people like that everywhere. As to the feeling alone thing I totally understand where you're coming from being stuck at home must be horrible, you're about to get your license though right? After that a lot of doors will open up for you when you get a car. You can get a job find some hobbies go volunteering and all of those will lead to healthy relationships with people other than your parents so hang in there. Btw welcome to ena there are lot of good people on here.

[CurrentlyLost]

I will try not to let it get to me anymore of what they said. It is pretty horrible well I haven't even gotten my license yet. Over the summer my friend wanted me to get my license the same day he was going to get his so we could do it together. My mom had talked with his parents and agreed on it that we would plan a day to do it,but sadly no that didn't happen at all. My mom changed her mind her excuse was "Oh I'm so sorry I forgot,you'll just have to get yours another time". It sucks it really does, I felt like I let my friend down and I feel horrible after that. Thank You.

[GarnetRed]

You sound very isolated. Since you're homeschooled, you should explore joining some "after-school" activities. I had a home-schooled friend in hs who took karate and met friends through that. Look into other physical activities, or an art class, or something like that where there will be other people your age.