jazzy90 Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 My ex and I broke up in August..So anyway I was chatting with this guy that I met on a dating site from awhile ago. In sept we met and went on our first date..it was okay! he is a EMT and constantly brag about himself and his job..we recently had a bad argument weeks ago and i said he look like "uncle fester" lol anyway he still bring it up and act like he is hurting..i only said that to him because he told me to "bite his a$$.. so the other day he sent a message saying he don't want a relationship or anything but still want to hangout and today he sent me a message and said he will like to go out again and said but he don't like coming on my side of town to meet me( I don't have a car, so I got a ride to meet him)..Anyway ISN'T THE GUY SUPPOSE TO ACTUALLY COME TO THE GIRL'S HOUSE TO PICK HER UP? IF HE'S A REAL GENTLEMAN? He only live 30 minutes away.. and then he said "I also kind of wish you had some kind of job I guess"..SERIOUSLY..I'm a full time college student studying pediatric nursing and on top of that i have a medical issue ( hydrocephalus- fluid on the brain) so i'm managing and he said i need a job.. Below is what I said to him: What I'm doing with my life have absolutely NOTHING to do with you. I'm a full time college student and I WILL pursue and follow my career path, even though I'm going through a lot at this time with medical issues of my own. I'm still continuing my education,So if you can't accept that then it's your lost...Just because you are an "EMT" that DON'T make you better than everybody..People like that who think they're better DON'T get NOWHERE in life..so really it don't matter to me anymore if you want to move on and find someone else because obviously you are just gonna hold that stupid comment i made during the argument against me.I'm done trying with you, So really you have a good life..Bye! - So is this a good way of basically telling him to move on? Because in my opinion it's like he is judging me and thinking he is better because he is an EMT..he have a big ego..I think I need to just let that go. Link to comment
avman Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 So is this a good way of basically telling him to move on? Because in my opinion it's like he is judging me and thinking he is better because he is an EMT..he have a big ego..I think I need to just let that go. Is it a good way of doing it? Well no, I'd say your reply was pretty insulting and childish. If it's not working and he doesn't treat you as an equal then just break up with him or tell him you aren't interested in another date. Why send back such a nasty reply? Link to comment
jazzy90 Posted October 24, 2011 Author Share Posted October 24, 2011 We're not in a relationship so there's no breaking up..I don't see how I sound childish? by telling him I'm basically focused on my education and he is suppose to come pick me up. Which is true..a real man will come to a woman's house to get her,not just meet up somewhere Link to comment
avman Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Which is true..a real man will come to a woman's house to get her,not just meet up somewhere That's merely your expectation. Not a written rule. Others don't necessarily feel the same way that you have to pick the girl up to be a "real man". The rest of your reply to him was over the top in my view. Link to comment
RedDress Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Uhhh... no, I don't agree. Personally, I have a car so I really don't mind meeting up with a guy - especially if it will save him an hour or more of driving. I also think it IS his business what you choose to do with your life. If you are asking for him to be your partner - well - that's certainly criteria that someone can look at. Women do it all the time! Your message is also full of grammatical errors. It should be "that doesn't make you better" and "they don't get anywhere in life" (don't get nowhere is a double negative - so you are saying they DO get somewhere!). Arguing that someone is not better than you while using bad grammar to say it is... well... it's funny. I think that your reaction says more about your own insecurity than it does to tell him off. I'm not saying that you aren't doing your best or that you need a job, btw. I think it's great that you are doing all that you can do. But I think a simple "Ok - I understand. I'm quite proud of my accomplishments and my direction in life. I'm sorry that you can't make it out here. All the best!" is a lot classier and says a lot more than what you said above. Link to comment
king6 Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Your already fighting with the guy and wanting to be hurtful after 1 date.. Let it be and ignore all further contact. Neither of you are a good fit for each other. Replying with any type of retaliatory message explaining your position is just going to fuel a fire that burns and gets no where. Take the highroad and at very least reply with " well if im ever on that side of town, ill let you know".. thats it. Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 so the other day he sent a message saying he don't want a relationship or anything but still want to hangout Stop right there!!! A man who is a gentleman would not send a message like that. He is basically saying he'll have sex with you, but doesn't want to be your boyfriend. End of story. No need to get into any arguments about who is driving where. He's not interested in you, so forget about it. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Stop right there!!! A man who is a gentleman would not send a message like that. He is basically saying he'll have sex with you, but doesn't want to be your boyfriend. End of story. No need to get into any arguments about who is driving where. He's not interested in you, so forget about it. I think annie hit the nail on the head. Time to move on. Link to comment
laura40 Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Annie is right, move on. You're arguing already?! P.s what is an EMT? Link to comment
avman Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 P.s what is an EMT? An EMT is an Emergency Medical Technician. They are first responders to emergencies. Link to comment
laura40 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Oh right, same as a paramedic in the UK I'm guessing? Link to comment
blueidealist24 Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 He sounds rude.. I think others are being too hard on you.. it was really rude of him to criticize you like that and expect you to still want to hang out with him. You probably should have just ignored him instead of sending the message but I don't think the message was too bad. He has to take what he dishes out. Link to comment
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