crl621 Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 So I kind of have a crush on this guy on my Facebook friends (I'll call him 'Bob'). I've met him briefly a few times (long story short: a coworker tried to set me up with one of his (my coworker's) friends who had a crush on me, and the friend happened to be friends with X. So anyway, I wasn't interested but I kept running into Bob at random times- pretty much at both of my jobs that I had afterward. He recognized me I think and we talked for a few minutes. Anyway, after the last time I ran into him, I requested him on Facebook, and hoping he didn't think it was creepy, I just sent a quick thing with it saying how maybe we could be friends, since we kept running into each other. After that, I just forgot about it, cause I noticed he had a girlfriend. But a week ago, it said he was single, so I thought maybe it might be an opportunity just to get to know him a bit and try to talk to him. We've never talked on facebook, but he's "liked" a couple of my posts. I've never "liked" any of his or commented. I'm really shy (and to be honest, terrified of rejection). I don't seem to do well trying to initiate conversation with guys I don't know are interested. And honestly, I don't even know if he remembers me and I kind of have a feeling I'm not his type So the insecure part of me is like "No, do not embarrass yourself. Just forget it." But another part of me kind of wants to try to at least talk to him or comment on his post one day. Problem is, he doesn't post much, and the last post was about how women are horrible (because of his ex-gf cheating). I figured it was best not to comment on that lol. A couple of my friends suggested I try talking to him on Facebook chat, but the thought of that REALLY scares me. Anyway, does anyone have any suggestions? You can be honest, I just would appreciate some advice. I really don't want to make an idiot out of myself or sound desperate. Thanks! Link to comment
Furbys Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 What is the problem with starting a conversation with him on Facebook? Go for it, there is no harm in having a talk with him. Just take things slow, he is recovering from a bad relationship so don't present your feelings for him so soon. Don't think negatively and just talk to him! Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Your friends are right. Talk to him on facebook chat. Start it off with humour, put something like "Oh I hope you don't think all woman are horrible!" and see if he takes the bait and reply's. You have nothing to loose, so go for it. Link to comment
crl621 Posted October 23, 2011 Author Share Posted October 23, 2011 Thanks for the replies. I'm just afraid he's going to know right away that I like him and am just trying to talk to him cause he has no girlfriend at the moment. You don't think it's weird to just send something on facebook chat out of nowhere? I'm really afraid he'll think it's odd or that I'm bothering him. He seems to be on facebook fairly often, but I really have major self-esteem issues and it seems whenever I try to talk to a guy, it blows up in my face I know it's probably worth a try though. Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 But who cares if he thinks you like him. You do. That's the point. If you don't want him to know you like him, then don't talk to him. Forget him. Move on. But you do like him, so here we are. And there is nothing wrong with talking to him on facebook to get the ball rolling. Link to comment
crl621 Posted October 23, 2011 Author Share Posted October 23, 2011 Lol ok yeah, you're right. Thanks a lot, I think I'm gonna try it. Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Well good luck! You really do having nothing to lose. Just give it a try, and if it doesn't pan out well at least you gave it a shot. And that's the main thing. Link to comment
vel2011 Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 About 7 years ago I kissed the most sexy, gorgeous, fun and caring girl I have ever met in my life at a party. I was at university in a city miles away at the time, she was finsiing school (she was 18, me 20). We didn't stay in contact although she was friends with my sister, and didn't speak or see each other for 4 years. 3 years ago once I had moved to London to start a job and she was also living in the same city, she saw me online on facebook chat and sent 'Hello stranger...'. We chatted on facebook briefly, I followed it up with a phone call and a date - we fell in love and ended up going out for 2 years and 7 months. Unfortunately she broke up with me 2.5 months ago and I am still heartbroken - but let that show you what a conversation on facebook can lead to!!! Link to comment
crl621 Posted October 23, 2011 Author Share Posted October 23, 2011 That sounds lovely. Sorry about the break-up. But yeah, it'd be stupid not to at least try it. If he's not interested, then he's not interested. Not a big deal. Link to comment
vel2011 Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 That sounds lovely. Sorry about the break-up. But yeah, it'd be stupid not to at least try it. If he's not interested, then he's not interested. Not a big deal. Exactly. 'If you don't ask, you don't get'. You can always approach it in a casual, friendly manner. You don't have to send 'Hi I really fancy you are you interested?' crl621 - it was lovely and I thought I'd met the one. In a lot of pain now though!! Have a whole thread on it if you are interested. Link to comment
crl621 Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 Hi everyone, Thanks for all the advice. I just thought I'd give a quick update- I ended up messaging him over Facebook last night. For some reason, I suddenly wasn't afraid and just went for it. Unfortunately, this courage came to me at 2.30 in the morning LOL. So anyway, we had a very short conversation. He answered me and was pretty polite. I asked how he liked his new school. He said it was nice but had a few flaws. And he said it's far. Anyway, the entire conversation lasted around 15 minutes and not much else was really said. It was pretty much only a 10 sentence conversation all totaled. He started taking longer to reply the later it got, and finally at around 3am, he was like, "hey, I'll message you tomorrow. I have to sleep. Night." So yeah, I'm glad I did it. I was kinda bummed at first cause I got the feeling he didn't wanna talk and was trying to be nice. I was curious what you guys thought. I know it's kind of a weird situation cause it was so late. Was he kind of just trying to be polite and let me down gently with the whole, "I'll message you tomorrow"? Thanks for any input! Link to comment
crl621 Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 Exactly. 'If you don't ask, you don't get'. You can always approach it in a casual, friendly manner. You don't have to send 'Hi I really fancy you are you interested?' crl621 - it was lovely and I thought I'd met the one. In a lot of pain now though!! Have a whole thread on it if you are interested. And vel2011, I'd love to take a look at your post. I recently went through a REALLY bad breakup (well it's been almost a year), but it's something that devastated me and still haunts and saddens me a year later, so maybe I could give some good advice. Link to comment
vel2011 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 And vel2011, I'd love to take a look at your post. I recently went through a REALLY bad breakup (well it's been almost a year), but it's something that devastated me and still haunts and saddens me a year later, so maybe I could give some good advice. I would appreciate that! Link to comment
vel2011 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 And vel2011, I'd love to take a look at your post. I recently went through a REALLY bad breakup (well it's been almost a year), but it's something that devastated me and still haunts and saddens me a year later, so maybe I could give some good advice. It's the thread titled 'Girlfriend broke up with me after 2.5 years....' in my profile Link to comment
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