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Ex's brother. I did the right thing right?

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(sorry for it being long)

My Ex's brother deleted me off of Facebook the other day we've been friends since we were 12 so I was very confused as to why he deleted me. I messaged him about why he did it and got this as his reply:




Hey (me), You want to know why we are no longer friends well, I never lied to you and I won’t start now. I have lost all respect for you. After looking back at yours and Bobs (no his name wasn’t really bob) relationship I realized how you treated him. I looked at how when he was at (a college), he came back every weekend to see you and his grades suffered and he eventually had to drop out and leave the studio. Because of that situation he is afraid to even talk to Mr. Band director A and Mr. Band Director B because he hurt their reputation as directors and as people because they convinced the flute instructor that Bob is a hard worker and to let him into the flute studio that he worked day and night for to get in and at the same time, make you happy. I always try to not bring that up while talking to him because he starts saying how that was the best opportunity he ever had and he threw out the window so he can make sure you two stayed together. He has also put his life on hold while trying to make you happy and not put you in harm from your parents yelling. I also watched how hard it was for him to get you out of the house (after years of dating) and then recently watch you write about how you took a trip to Ohio to see your boyfriend that you have been dating for not even two months. I listened to my brother tell me that he would try so hard to just communicate to you and you would hardly respond and at the same you would spend hours with your new boyfriend that was not even your boyfriend at the time. It angers me that you never really appreciated Bob for what he did for you and how your already dating someone that you met online; and it also kills me to listen to how he wishes he would not of ruined his life for you because of the * * * * hole he is in right now, just about everything he wanted to do you shot down, he wanted to join the military, he said no FOR YOU, he was kicked out of the flute studio he worked so hard to get into FOR YOU and he is still trying to re-build his life BECAUSE OF YOU and the thing that kills me the most is how every time I bring anything music related up he tells me how proud of me he is and how he wished he could be just like me, but he is not BECAUSE OF YOU.

I considered you my little sister, and that is an honorable title, but after what you did to my family we can no longer be friends. I just want to let you know, I am already worried for you It is easy to fall in love and watch the years go by but it is not until you lose the one you love that you realize how blind you were and that you life is ruined because you only cared about your loved one. You’re not in college that is already a big mistake you have a new boyfriend and I’m happy for you two but how long will you let that go until you realize you have done nothing with your life. You have to think about yourself first, I want you to succeed in life and do you always dreamed of doing and not let love get in your way. It is not until you build a foundation in your life that you can build a house on top of it for your family and right now you are on the cold ground with love and if you lost your love, you would just be on the cold ground, with nothing. So get your life in order before you chase after boys. You are and adult now there is nothing in life will be handed to you, you have to work for it. I hope you read this as an adult and learn from it. I am going to pray for you tonight and every night; because I care for you. I will check up on you once in a while from hearing from people but I just hope it is about you building your foundation for life.

That is why I took you off the list of friends on my facebook, everyone on there is my friend actual friends that I will help out if they needed it, and that I have met in real life. I considered you family (which has more meaning than friend) and until you turn your life around we will not be friends.


I was dating my EX from 14-18. He was 2 years older then me. While it is over. I don't regret any of it really accept for maybe how long it lasted...Starting with how I treated him I bought him clothing when his mother couldn't afford to. I bought him new supplies for college. I got him an office chair. When his mom didn't feed him I made sure he ate. I was 16 when he went to college. He was living an hour away by car. He had cheated on me and being the stupid little girl I was I stayed with him. (in my defense I didn't know how far they went until later), but I became very insecure when he was at college and on top of that he lied to me a lot. I begged Bob not to go so far away to college, but he told me "He wanted to test our relationship and didn't want to stay." He lied about things while he was there (week long block party's). I didn't stop him from studying when he spent hours googling random stuff on week days and playing flight simulators.As for his "Parents yelling" thing I don't know why he would put his life on hold for that. He had a hard time getting me out the house to see him because I was not 18. When I went to see this new boyfriend I was 18 and it wasn't like I was going alone and on top of that I told my ex Bob that I was going out with this new boyfriend before I put it on Facebook to soften the blow. I didn't start dating my new boyfriend until a month after I broke up with my ex Bob. I started dating this boyfriend because he is so compatible with me. I didn't stop Bob from joining the Military. The military told him no because of his ADHD and color Deficiency. He made The choice to drive home from college on the weekends to see me. It was a choice and I wasn't holding him by gunpoint. I did appreciate Bob for everything he did for me. I just don't see why I shouldn't have the right to be happy because Bob and I weren't compatible after high school things just stopped being fun for me and I realized that Bob and I are two extremely different people. After he left the flute studio. I helped him apply for other colleges and his mom didn't help him with the necessary paperwork. so he ended up not going. I helped him apply for jobs . I even got my brother-in-law to try and help him out, but it just didn't work. As for me I have a job and am working to pay for college. I am trying to be the best I can and If I have a boyfriend what does it hurt? Especially when this one treats me right....but that's right I'm not going around talking behind bobs back to anyone, but a help forum and am not even using his name. So does anyone think I am at fault for any of this? I have really low self esteem and generally blame myself for things that aren't my fault. So whats your opinion?

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There's always more than one side to a story, but your exes brother is always going to take his side. You may have been friends, but they will always be brothers.


Yeah It just sucks I dont blame anything on him because anything that happened was my choice. Accept for him bad mouthing me to his friends on on facebook.


Oh and he was telling me about dates and things after we broke up. I actually got him a date with a friend and it didnt work out. So apparently Im the only one not allowed to move on.

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There's always more than one side to a story, but your exes brother is always going to take his side. You may have been friends, but they will always be brothers.




PS, your ex's brother needs to realize that your ex needs to take personal responsibility for his decisions. Ok, so his life is effed up because he put his life on hold--that was his decision to make. No one should put their lives on hold for ANYONE. That's the best way to get screwed over, which he has just recently learned.

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Of course he's going to take his brother's side and be loyal to him. That's all it is. Sounds like he used to think of you fondly, but with the breakup, now not so much. Oh well.
Yeah, I just gave up on being friends with them. They are being so stupid about this all. I'm too old for this >.

s fine he is your brother. So have a nice life and don't check up on me."

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