Worst day of my life!!! (Well, so far anyway...)

[Tomuch2hope]

Those of you who have read my posts will know that her friends wedding was on today.

 

For those, that haven't.. After we broke up, my ex wanted me to be her plus 1 at this wedding. (I didn't mind, and set some ground rules... such as I'm there as a plus 1 only, no strings, no promises... )

 

Anyway, we've been NC for a while now. (NC as in, she said we shouldn't text, but still agreed to take a lift from me) But I have been firm, and have not made any contact with her. I even take a longer route to work so I don't run the risk of seeing her at the busstop.

 

I've spend the whole day thinking I should have contacted her. We broke up because she thought I wasn't committed to the relationship, and believed making dates, or weekends away couldn't be organised because I was unable / unwilling to go and now I feel like * * * * because I had suggested we go to the wedding (there is a lot of background to the story of the wedding) together and think I should have broken NC last week, or in the last few days to confirm if this arrangment was in place.

 

Yes, I know she could have contacted me, but if she was waiting to see if I could keep my word why would she push the issue.

 

I feel like I failed a big test of whether we could save our relationship.

[loulou37]

nah its just your mind playing games on you. start dating dating new girls.

 

I don't think this will help, DON'T start dating new girls until you've healed, i think you still have a long way to go until then.

 

peace to you.

 

loulou x

[Tomuch2hope]

Thanks folks. I know I should get back on the horse... but yesterday my mind was travelling at light speed.

 

Things were fairly 'friendly' for a while, as in we'd txt the odd time.

 

But because I can't remember if the arrangment was made before or after I'd mess'd up our LC arrangment it was just killing me, thinking that by not going / checking if the invite was still good then I had once again proved her decision to split up was right.

[Angler]

She said you shouldn't be in contact, and you didn't contact her. You respected her wishes. That's a good thing!

 

Maybe this was a test, and she expected you to break down and contact her. You didn't. If she wants to be upset that you didn't contact her, don't worry, because deep down you earned her respect too.

 

You're killing yourself over details that probably don't matter all that much.

 

Don't worry though, you've read my thread. I do the same thing. Big time.

[Mesemene]

To me, if I ask for no contact after inviting an ex to an event - it's my job to initiate any contact about the event to confirm or change arrangements.

 

Expecting anything else is kind of like a girl (or guy) asking to meet for dinner next week, and having a blowup in the meantime and saying "don't contact me, just leave me alone - I'm done with you!" and then complaining the following week "how dare you, you stood me up!" Huh? You respected her wish for you to not contact her - ball was in her court.

[Tomuch2hope]

She said you shouldn't be in contact, and you didn't contact her. You respected her wishes. That's a good thing!

 

Maybe this was a test, and she expected you to break down and contact her. You didn't. If she wants to be upset that you didn't contact her, don't worry, because deep down you earned her respect too.

 

You're killing yourself over details that probably don't matter all that much.

 

Don't worry though, you've read my thread. I do the same thing. Big time.

 

Ah the auld double, double reverse reverse psychology..

 

I think the reason it got in on me so much was because my unwillingness to go to the wedding was used as another example of how little I cared for her or the relationship.

 

To me, if I ask for no contact after inviting an ex to an event - it's my job to initiate any contact about the event to confirm or change arrangements.

 

Expecting anything else is kind of like a girl (or guy) asking to meet for dinner next week, and having a blowup in the meantime and saying "don't contact me, just leave me alone - I'm done with you!" and then complaining the following week "how dare you, you stood me up!" Huh? You respected her wish for you to not contact her - ball was in her court.

..

 

Yep, I see your point. But would you still feel the same if the situation was as I said above.