I can't move on.....

[glegend]

We weren't together for long time. No matter, how you slice it 10 months was still 10 months. We stareted talking round this time of the year last year. Our first date was November 6. She broke up with me a month ago, and I can't move on. I'm not strong enough to. The days seem to hurt, but the nights hurt even more. She would make the pain not hurt, and always go away. The pain is back and so is all the old pain. I don't know what to do. I'm hurting deep inside.

[Thorshammer]

It happens in stages, it comes and goes, then leaves, then you are walking tall thinking about what kind of woman you want next, then BOOM, you are hurt again. Its all natural, we all go through it. I went through it 3 months and 1 week ago. Some cant eat, some cant sleep (i hated this), but it gets better. Right now you are running on emotions, the world sucks, and food taste whack, but once your logical mind slowly returns, you will start to heal and life will be better. Just dont doubt the strength of your mind.

[mg22]

Iam hurting too, mine dumped me out of the blue, no closure, its been 3 months, i found out recently he dumped me to be with somone else.. they seem to be happy , i saw there picture on FB, its hard i know.. espcially on the weekends, this was my time with him.. not hers, now hes gone.......

[LDRohnos]

It happens in stages, it comes and goes, then leaves, then you are walking tall thinking about what kind of woman you want next, then BOOM, you are hurt again.

 

Yeah...that's love. It's like watching a Mets regular season.

 

OP you'll be fine...one month is nothing. It's taken me three months at the shortest to a whopping 10 months (latest ex) to get over someone. More time.

[LaKings55]

10 months is a long time? Sorry, not trying to say your feelings are unfounded, but if it wasn't meant to be, you should be glad you didn't invest more time. Not to mention, you're only 21. I personally find people in their early 20's (myself included) to be too immature to handle serious relationships. No one truly knows what they want yet, they confuse infatuation for true love, and far too many of us are emotionally unavailable for real relationships. You'll meet someone new

[glegend]

The very fist girl I ever dated I was with her for about 6 year. After that went south I could never dated anyone for more then 1-2 months. So for me 10 months yeah is a long time. I turn 22 in a couple of weeks. Unfortunately, I know what I want and I am working towards it all only thing I'm missing is my significant other.

[glegend]

That happened to me over a year ago with a chick that I dated from June to end of July last year. Went out one friday night, had a blast, then the next day we were both workign and dshe was having a rough day and wanted space. Day after I got an email saying its over. Monday night she had a new boyfriend.

 

How are you coping with this? For me I have good days and bad days. Days like today were cold and muggy and little rain with darks skies, ontop of that I got real sick last night from drinking and it all didn't mix well today. Really missed her a tons.

[glegend]

My sleep and eating pattern was exactly like that for a week. My parents were getting really upset and concerned so I had to force myself into eating. However, sleep is still off. Which makes it really hard casue I'm stressed from the break up and then I have stress from school = not a good mix.

[In the Dark]

Hey G,

 

Been a long time.

I am sad to hear this has happened as I know how you wear your heart on your sleeve.

There is nothing wrong with that as when you love someone you love them with all your heart and you feel it.

It just means they have all your heart and you feel all of it broken if they do break it.

 

Sounds like it's going to be another roller coaster ride again and I am sure you know your own expectations of what you are going to go through.

 

You just have to remember that you will find someone again even though right now you would rather have your ex back and all that happened which caused the break up to magically disappear.

I think many of us who didn't want a break up to happen do wish the above.

 

I wish for yuor recovery to be short and not too rocky.

[imonlyhuman]

Go Mets.

 

It will hurt for the longest time. But you just gotta get up each day, and live your life, make your own life better. And in time, it'll hurt less, the emptiness you feel in your chest will fill itself slowly. My breakup happened about 9 months ago, and I still think about her and I miss her, but I feel a lot better these days. Go hang out with friends, with family, don't talk about your ex. Find other things to do, talk about, make new priorities. Cultivate your other relationships and your personal well-being, and in time, you'll heal.

[MarnDark]

Hey man,

 

I'm turning 22 in a couple of weeks also! I haven't been single on my birthday in 4 years! Ever since I was 18 I've had a girlfriend. So I've basically had someone my entire young adult life and yeah I agree that a lot of people our age don't know what they want in a relationship, pretty much the primary reason I was dumped. I feel like I'm probably going to be single for awhile before I get into another relationship, but that's alright. I really am starting to get used to the idea and i doesn't drive me crazy like it used to.

[glegend]

Hey man,

 

I'm turning 22 in a couple of weeks also! I haven't been single on my birthday in 4 years! Ever since I was 18 I've had a girlfriend. So I've basically had someone my entire young adult life and yeah I agree that a lot of people our age don't know what they want in a relationship, pretty much the primary reason I was dumped. I feel like I'm probably going to be single for awhile before I get into another relationship, but that's alright. I really am starting to get used to the idea and i doesn't drive me crazy like it used to.

 

I'm used to never being single on my birthday. Last year on my birthday, was the first time I was not single on my birthday for a couple of years. It felt good. However, it hurts knowing halloween, is coming, my brithday is coming, christmas is coming and so is new years eve. I can agree not a lot of people knwo what they want at young ages. I do know what I want, and people I tend to know (firends or ex-friends cause I've lost a fair bit within the past couple of months). Some days I do great, and it doesn't bother me much. Days like yesterday, drive me crazy. Yesterday would make the day I actually fell for her a year ago, its not the exact day but it is the Saturday of the weekend I feel for her.

[glegend]

Go Mets.

 

It will hurt for the longest time. But you just gotta get up each day, and live your life, make your own life better. And in time, it'll hurt less, the emptiness you feel in your chest will fill itself slowly. My breakup happened about 9 months ago, and I still think about her and I miss her, but I feel a lot better these days. Go hang out with friends, with family, don't talk about your ex. Find other things to do, talk about, make new priorities. Cultivate your other relationships and your personal well-being, and in time, you'll heal.

 

I'm trying dude. I really am trying. I'm tryign to put more focus on school; however, its hard. There is more then emptiness in my chest, there is no heart and just darkness and cold air. It's very hard, nothind can distact me 100%. Like I mention in the post I quoted above this reply, yesterday was the day in the weekend that I realized I had fallen for her. All day I can do nothing but think about her. Radio plays all depressing music. There is so much that makes me think of her. At school I'm in classes mixed with guys and girls and some days all the girl smell like my ex. Not sure if its the perfume they are wearing or the soap they use but it all reminds me of her.

 

How are you coping?

[glegend]

ITD! Whats going on bud? Did you get my last pm from a couple of months ago?

 

It has been a while. Whats new with you?

 

From all the poster so far yuor the one who knows me the best. My heart is practically in my palm and I cherish every moment with friends and girl that I am dating. Im not sure if I had told you, but you probably knew I did love her. I fell in love with her and I didn't think it would be possible to love again without the fear of getting hurt. I guess I got proved wrong one more time. I guess I never learn?

 

You know its going to be another crazy bumpy rollecoaster ride for who knows how long. As much I know what I am going to go through, you know too. We've have so many discussions about this, and we know how it's going to get and how the thoughts are going to kill me.

 

I know eventually I will find someone again. It's sad to say I don't want anyone. I really don't. I know its something that is said and that I've probably said many times before but in all honesty this girl was the one. She is the one that I let go, she will always be. I just wish there was a way I could go back in time and change things.

 

Thanks bud for the wishes and lets stay in contact.

[MarnDark]

I'm used to never being single on my birthday. Last year on my birthday, was the first time I was not single on my birthday for a couple of years. It felt good. However, it hurts knowing halloween, is coming, my brithday is coming, christmas is coming and so is new years eve. I can agree not a lot of people knwo what they want at young ages. I do know what I want, and people I tend to know (firends or ex-friends cause I've lost a fair bit within the past couple of months). Some days I do great, and it doesn't bother me much. Days like yesterday, drive me crazy. Yesterday would make the day I actually fell for her a year ago, its not the exact day but it is the Saturday of the weekend I feel for her.

 

Yeah, knew what you mean. Around this time two years ago my ex and I went to the grocery store to buy stuff to bake me on my birthday. One of my favorite memories of us. We weren't even going out then, I was with someone else, but we always had a undeniable connection. The weekends are the worst. My friends sometimes go home for the weekend and I end up spending all day at my apartment. Like you, I know exactly what I want in a relationship. I wanted her, but she didn't want me in the end.

[glegend]

Yeah, knew what you mean. Around this time two years ago my ex and I went to the grocery store to buy stuff to bake me on my birthday. One of my favorite memories of us. We weren't even going out then, I was with someone else, but we always had a undeniable connection. The weekends are the worst. My friends sometimes go home for the weekend and I end up spending all day at my apartment. Like you, I know exactly what I want in a relationship. I wanted her, but she didn't want me in the end.

 

I have a similar memory myself. At my work, my department does a department dinner. Last year we decided to do it close to my birthday, so we said it could serve as my birthday party as well. So my ex decided to go and get me a scooby-doo cake cause she knows I love watching classic scooby-doo. We were only dating for just over a month and she did this for me. It really meant something special to me and I will never forget it.

[lonely1986]

My last relationship with my real bf took more than a yr to get over. We were together for 4 yrs, he left me for someone else. It hurt like hell, u wouldnt believe it now but time heals. Everything is a phase. But u will get over. I found myself in a messy situation myself with a married man. Believe me, u are better of single. Life is what i make of it. But look around u time stops for no one. Keep occupied and concentrate on something, i did all of that to move on. Jus ened a relationship with a married man and i miss him. I didnt expect to. But i cant be used an treated like dat. U will be fine i promise u

[In the Dark]

I did respond to that message months ago.

I'm sure I did....maybe it did not send, but that rarely happens.

I thought you may have been tied up with life which it appears you were.

 

Given enough time with someone, we can love someone else after what happened with another person.

It's pretty normal.

Unfortunately the hurt when the relationship ends is also pretty normal.

Sounds like you are still longing for this girl which is also normal when you never wanted to break up with her in the first place.

 

Well you know yourself how long the hurt is going to last.

 

I'll be around if you want to flick a message.

[MarnDark]

I have a similar memory myself. At my work, my department does a department dinner. Last year we decided to do it close to my birthday, so we said it could serve as my birthday party as well. So my ex decided to go and get me a scooby-doo cake cause she knows I love watching classic scooby-doo. We were only dating for just over a month and she did this for me. It really meant something special to me and I will never forget it.

 

Those early memories are still the best for me.

 

Well, it seems like you've gotten over heartbreak before. I'm sure that makes you well-equipped to handle this one, no?

[glegend]

Those early memories are still the best for me.

 

Well, it seems like you've gotten over heartbreak before. I'm sure that makes you well-equipped to handle this one, no?

 

Some of the early memories were the best. Even memories deeper into the relationship are great too. However, I tend to find it's the memories of those little things that mean a lot to me. I can sit and think of them and all you see me is smile and giggle/laugh a little. One example would be, when my ex would always call me when she'd get lost or try to go somewhere and she didn't know where to go or how to go the easiest way. I've been driving for a long time now and I know how to get to places where some could only imagine how to get there.

 

Yes, I have handled heart breaks many many times before. However, I know the process and I know how I am going to feel for the next "x" amount of time. They say if you fall off the horse you get back up and try again. So you would automatically think if you keep falling off and trying again it wouldn't hurt or bother you as much, the more and more it happens. You would tend to get use to it. Like say playing a video game and your trying to get to a certain level but you keep failing, and well it tends to happens so much that your use to say losing all your life points and having to replay that level so you get use to it. Not when it comes to me and heart break; unforunately, its not like that. You'd think time after time you'd start to get use to being dumped and that it wouldn't hurt as much; however, it hurts like crazy.

[glegend]

I did respond to that message months ago.

I'm sure I did....maybe it did not send, but that rarely happens.

I thought you may have been tied up with life which it appears you were.

 

Given enough time with someone, we can love someone else after what happened with another person.

It's pretty normal.

Unfortunately the hurt when the relationship ends is also pretty normal.

Sounds like you are still longing for this girl which is also normal when you never wanted to break up with her in the first place.

 

Well you know yourself how long the hurt is going to last.

 

I'll be around if you want to flick a message.

 

I remember gettting a message from you, in which I responded too. Maybe there was an error on the forum software or the forum server and it didn't send out. The flaw could be on either end of us.

 

I did get tied up with life. School, last year was horrible and it was stressing me out. On top of that work and my ex took up the rest of my time. I never had time to log onto the forum. Did I tell you what was going on with school and what happened?

 

I can agree with you on that. We can learn to love someone else after having loved someone else. I do find that it will be really hard to move on from this girl. In all honesty, I would have to say she is the one that got away. Pure wife material. She was probably too good for me. Your 100%, I'm still longing for this girl and I want her back, which I know is common for me to feel that way cause I know you know that's how I am. I never wanted to end things with her, at least not at that moment.

 

Unfortunately, I do know myself and I do know how long the pain will hurt for. Some day's I do well and the pain doesn't kill me. Other days, I'm a wreck and there is so much pain filling up inside of me.

[imonlyhuman]

im coping pretty well. like i said, it gets better over time. not much you can do about it. it's like... getting the flu. it goes away on it's own, all the meds you take just help relieve symptoms. so do that, but meds = hanging with friends, family, caring about them and what's going on in their lives (really important), maybe volunteer, work out, meet new people, get to know all those "friends" that are really just acquaintances better maybe, be better at school or your job. it'll pass. you will be less and less of a wreck. just hang in there.

[imonlyhuman]

oh.. and listen to the mp3 ive got posted in my signature. it's great.

[glegend]

im coping pretty well. like i said, it gets better over time. not much you can do about it. it's like... getting the flu. it goes away on it's own, all the meds you take just help relieve symptoms. so do that, but meds = hanging with friends, family, caring about them and what's going on in their lives (really important), maybe volunteer, work out, meet new people, get to know all those "friends" that are really just acquaintances better maybe, be better at school or your job. it'll pass. you will be less and less of a wreck. just hang in there.

 

I agre its gets better over time. However, sometimes it takes longer than other times. The flu comparison is a good one; however, each year the flu changes so sometmies the meds the doc gives you doesn't do the trick.

 

I just want it to pass. It seems that as time moves on and anything that I hear from her it comes off that she didn't or doesn't care about us.

 

Heres a song. Alittle bit of an old song but its a remix. Not all the lyrics relate just some here and there.

 

 

[iBroken]

10 months is a long time? Sorry, not trying to say your feelings are unfounded, but if it wasn't meant to be, you should be glad you didn't invest more time. Not to mention, you're only 21. I personally find people in their early 20's (myself included) to be too immature to handle serious relationships. No one truly knows what they want yet, they confuse infatuation for true love, and far too many of us are emotionally unavailable for real relationships. You'll meet someone new

 

As a 34 year old, this is exactly what I would say. You are both too young to think that this is it. There will be others - there is A LOT more out there for you both.

 

This too shall pass.