firesign1213 Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 I am just wondering if anyone has been or is currently in the same kind of scenario. I am in a relationship with a man who travels very frequently for work. Right now is his "busy season" so he has been gone for seven days at a time every other week (this is an average). When he's here, we pretty much spend all of our time together when we're not working and we're very happy together. I have no trust issues with him and he has none with me, so there's no problems there. Actually, I don't even know if I can call this a "problem" per se as much as something I wonder if there's something I can do about. Here it is: I feel like there are kind of stages I go through when he's gone. Let's say he's on a ten-day business trip: First there is that initial withdrawal for about three or four days where I'm missing him a lot. I try to stay really busy with friends and hobbies when he's gone, so after that first stage, I'm still wishing he was here but it's not like that "pining" sensation I feel at first. I guess my concern is about how I feel during the last three days or so before he comes home...it's hard to explain. It's not that I don't want him to come home or I'm not looking forward to seeing him. It's kind of like I've just gotten so used to him being gone that I don't really feel it as strongly. I hate to be cheesy but I feel like it's relevant---you know that line in that song "Faithfully" by Journey? "And being apart ain't easy on this love affair/Two strangers learn to fall in love again"? It's kind of like that feeling...like by the end of it I feel so emotionally disconnected from him that it's almost weird when he comes home, it's almost like this shy feeling like I don't know this person and don't know how to act around them or something. Difficult to explain. It feels like all the "relationship progress" we make when he's here is kind of like two steps forward and one step back, you know what I mean? I'm not sure what I can do to address this or if I should even be worried, but I guess what I worry about every time he goes away is that he's going to come back and things aren't going to be the same between us or something. We talk as frequently as we can, but his job is very go-go-go and demanding (he often works 15+ hour days), so our communication is sometimes patchy and sporadic. I feel pretty silly asking this about a ten-day business trip when there are women whose husbands are on deployment for months or years at a time, but actually, if there are any of you out there reading this, I would love to hear your perspective. Do you experience this? How do you confront it? Link to comment
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