Boyfriend rarely initiates sex anymore....is it me or him??

[confuzed25]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months now...he is 28 and I am 25. We have an amazing relationship. We never fight, we always talk about how much we love and care about each other and lately he has been bringing up marriage quite often. We have both talked about how we just "know" we are perfect for each other and going to end up together. Everything is just so easy with him. But there is one thing that has gotten progressively more troubling to me over the past few months. When he and I first started talking he was very horny, always talking about sexual things and it kind of annoyed me he talked about it so much. He explained that it was because he had been single for a year and hadnt had sex. We started getting intimate after 2 months of dating and we would have sex every night we were together which was 2-3 times per week. On those nights we would have sex 1-5 times per night. He would text me throughout the day naughty things and we would send naughty pictures via text.

 

Over the last 4-5 months though the sex has become less and less. We still see each other 2-3 times per week but have sex maybe once per week and never more than once a night. He says its because we have entered the comfort stage and he enjoys just spending time with me and its enough. He never texts me naughty things and when I try to text him naughty things he barely responds to it. I have asked him if hes not attracted to me and he says hes definitely attracted to me, thats not a problem. There are times when hes very horny, like begs for it but thats very rare. When we do end up having sex its usually not long at all and I never get off. I know for a fact he is very self-conscious about it because he always holds me afterwards and apologizes and says he feels bad for not lasting long. I always tell him its ok because I dont want him to feel bad plus im just happpy to be getting anything. I feel like maybe im not good in bed but I feel like I dont get the chance to because if I do a lot of foreplay it gets him so worked up he gets off even quicker and usually we only have time to try one position so its not like we can have a long initimate session.

 

This is the only thing thats off in our relationship...and I dont understand what I can do or should do because it is something that is bothering me. Ive tried to talk to him about it but he always changes the subject after he says that hes just comfortable with me or that hes been tired lately, etc. Any advice would be appreciated, thanks

[guynextdoor]

Have you tried initiating it? Sometimes a guy gets tired of doing all of the initiating and would like our SO to initiate.

[confuzed25]

yes, about 75% of the time Im the one initiating it. He says Im the only girl hes ever dated thats initiated sex and he loves it. But Im tired of almost always being the one to initiate. If he wants it he will come and get it....thats the problem, he rarely does anymore.

[22n32]

sounds like sex to him isnt as important as it is for u...

 

example i had an ex she was happy with sex 2 times a week.. she just wasnt sexuall, wasnt me or attraction.. but i love sex for the connection, bond, and the act of it.. and i wanted it everyday..

 

this made us not be compatible sexually...

[LDRohnos]

sounds like sex to him isnt as important as it is for u...

 

example i had an ex she was happy with sex 2 times a week.. she just wasnt sexuall, wasnt me or attraction.. but i love sex for the connection, bond, and the act of it.. and i wanted it everyday..

 

this made us not be compatible sexually...

 

God damn I wish I had it 2 times a week with my ex. I'd see her once every month and it was like pulling teeth anyway...lol. Anyway that's why they're ex's!

[Batya33]

How about doing a little less talking about how perfect you are together and how you "just know" and shift more to finding other activities and things in common- and the more physical the better (like biking/dancing/hiking) - He might be getting into that too settled stage where the talk is all lovey dovey and self-congratulatory but there's not enough keeping you on your toes. Not a challenge as in game playing but interesting things you do together that keep things fresh.