Does anyone ever know what they want?

[Anonymous 6]

so, I'm 21 years old, and my best educated guess would be that I am in the "big world anxiety" phase. I dropped out when I was 16 and worked restaurant for 2 years. Obviously I knew that was not what I wanted so I started college, I STILL have no idea what I want to go for; So I picked something that paid and stuck with it, Business. Now I am in the running for my MBA, I want to go back to school but am having trouble keeping up with the classes (parents make alot of money, bad credit = no loan). I am currently in social work right now which is VERY rewarding, I work with people who have disabilities and work with them to get them jobs, teach them life skills, and work with them on goals that they make based off of their interests. I make out fairly well, I live comfortable by myself, have enough food to eat, decent car to drive, decent boyfriend etc. Well, I'm miserable, I can't seem to figure out why; no matter how hard I push myself it will never be enough for some reason. I have come a long way in the past few years, and I am proud of myself, but I still cant seem to even have the slightest clue of what I want to do. If I even want to get married, or have kids, if I want the "big shot career" that I seem to be striving for without even knowing why. I have come to a point where I'm so angry all the time that I don't even talk to any of my old friends anymore, because I simply don't even like them anymore.

 

One of my old best friends is now on drugs alot, and wont work, get a place of his own ANything, in my eyes he is just simply lazy

the other is out drinking all the time and wont settle down, she cheats on her boyfriend, and then lies to herself to justify it

my brother (basically my old best friend) is now with a 16 year old (hes 25), proposed to her, and they are trying for a baby which I think is idiotic

My parents are mad at me- I attempted to get their help in co-signing for me a loan to go back to school, they think that it is not a good idea as I might have trouble paying it off later. I understand why they would not want me to, but I am out of options as far as school goes, they insist that I wait until I can go back to school when I am 25 without their tax-work having anything to do with my tuition. I don't think waiting to go back into an intense program 4 years after I graduate very smart, I think I will lose a lot of the endurance I have towards school now which could really hurt me, especially in such an intense program. I did not go against what they said, obviously they have the final blow. But I did point out that even after I do graduate, after 4 payments their names get dropped from the loan. It's a good point that I might have trouble paying it off, but I have been out of the house since I was 16, and I don't think I have done that bad for myself, and I wish that they would understand that I don't want to feel as though my decisions are still being controlled by them. Once I told them this, my mother is now being extremely rude to me every time I see her, and my father wont even talk to me. They have always seen me as the "golden child" and that all of my decisions are going to be the right ones, that I am going to go "far" and make alot of money and pick a lawyer or a doctor to marry. The pressure of their expectations alone are sometimes enough for me to not want to be around them.

 

Basically I am down to no friends, no one to talk to, and no clue as to which way to go

 

any comments or advise would be appreciated. Thanks,

[seanryder]

Hi There,

 

Here's something that might be helpful. Make a list of 5 things you LOVE doing and 5 things you are GOOD AT. Keep changing these lists over the years as your interests change. When there is something on both lists that correspond, that's a good indicator of where you might like to go with your career. It well known that all the successful people in life love what they are doing, so that too is a good hint.

 

Hope this helps.

[ILYx3]

Well people learn from their mistakes. you ve learnt urrs. if only u didnt quit school, atleast u could got a job by now.

So yeah. if u need help, u can talk to a counsellor. u know.

[Anonymous 6]

I didn't quit school- I graduated- now I have to make 900 dollar per month payments not including books to go back

[ILYx3]

so whats ur problem? sorry

[Anonymous 6]

I graduated with my BS, I am trying to go back for my MBA..

[Batya33]

I think it's better to get some relevant work experience before returning for an MBA. Most people I know pay for grad school themselves. My parents helped me by letting me live at home and for the first year gave me some spending money. I'm so grateful to them for that support because I did not expect them to pay for grad school. It was a good feeling funding my own education after college -I recommend it....

[Blue Dreamer]

I think it's better to get some relevant work experience before returning for an MBA. Most people I know pay for grad school themselves. My parents helped me by letting me live at home and for the first year gave me some spending money. I'm so grateful to them for that support because I did not expect them to pay for grad school. It was a good feeling funding my own education after college -I recommend it....

 

Ditto. You have the degree needed to get started comfortably in life. Surly you are blessed to have your parents on your side, yet there is no reason to be dependent on them for your success. It may be tough, yet with your independence, you will be better off making it on your own without their influence.

[catfeeder]

When I couldn't afford a full program, I chipped away at a class or two per semester until my circumstances changed. This kept me challenged but also bought me time to decide on a shift to another program along the way.

 

No learning is ever wasted. Most of us don't possess the psychic abilities to know how we'll use everything in the future--until we land in situations that we're far more capable of tackling because our foundation is that much stronger.

 

Your social crisis is right on time. While it feels lousy, it can be smart to churn the address book to phase out anyone who pulls you down. No need to burn bridges, just move your focus to taking small steps forward--even when you have no idea where they'll lead.

 

It's common for people in helping fields to need mentoring or counseling of their own. Look into your benefits plan or pursue mental health services available through school. It's smart for your company to recognize that they need to feed your well if they want you to perform your best without becoming depleted.

 

Feeling depleted happens to the best of us. Treat yourself kindly, and this will allow you to view others through the same generosity you've adopted for your Self.

 

Trust your highest intelligence to have a plan for you, especially when you're in the dark. It's always darkest before the miracle.

 

Head high.