MissElisabeth Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 I really need opinion and advice...as I'm devastated. My ex boyfriend...of 12 years...8 together 7 years living together and on and off but mostly on for the last 4 after that. We met through work 16 years ago and have been together since 1999. Four years ago he cheated on me with our neighbor and my safe world came crumbling down. I made him move out after the affair didn't stop and lies continued. Over the next couple of years we reconciled but he dated women in between and my trust issues became toxic. He has acted completely out of character in the last few years from the man i've known half my life. We made a pace last November to put the past behind us and commit to one another ... a new beginning. He had a date with someone right before we reconciled and told me it was over with this person. In May he left for a four month job training out of state. The morning he was leaving, while i helped him pack his things. I found a Valentine's day card from another woman stating how lucky she was to have a man like him in her life. I was beyond crushed and walked out. He tried calling me for hours...pleading that she was no one. A girl he dated who is "crazy" and under the illusion they are a couple when they are not. I told him to stay out of my life. That I wanted to be his priority...the i loved him. He said that I was and that he loved me. I stopped replying and after a week his calls stopped. I assumed he was in intensive job training and i took the opportunity for us being apart as time for him to grow and focus on this new career he worked for so hard and so long for. He emailed me in July to wish me a happy birthday and see how both me and our dog was. I wrote him that i loved him and he said he loved me too and we chatted for a while. Then i waited but never heard again. I expected to hear from him in late September as he was set to graduate. I have since discovered (on october 1st) that he brought a woman home to his family over the July 4th weekend and introduced her as his fiance (6 weeks after leaving!! and pleading that he loved me) and that in August they announced ultrasound pictures and a baby on the way. On Sept 17th they announced via phone to the family that they had been married. His new job takes him out of state (far far from here). I always thought it would be us moving. That after 12 years we finally had a fresh start. His son, that I helped him raise for the last 12 years was now grown and life for us was finally where we wanted it. I don't understand how you leave in early May as my boyfriend and return in mid sept married to someone else with a baby on the way. I'm so confused. This is more like a movie than my life. I learned that she has a 3 year old son and is from the same state as me. Will she really move a thousand miles away with her toddler? Is this wedding doomed? Is he rebelling? did he get married because she was pregnant?? did i not deserve the respect of communication and to know what was going on? I understand i was upset and walked out but i wanted him to fight for me. To call and tell me he loved me...to show up...to fight for us! Is it possible he will have his happily ever after? I'm so confused. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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