mhowe Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 No, they don't care. It's not about you anymore, it's about them. He left --- and moved on. That sucks. But that is the reality of the situation. Link to comment
mg22 Posted October 19, 2011 Author Share Posted October 19, 2011 Thanks everbody, iam holding back on sending that letter... i guess he wins !! he always did win, i hope to god there is such a thing as KARMA !! Link to comment
mhowe Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 He didn't win -- you did. He's not a great catch he he can treat you like that. Think of it as she loses! Link to comment
Eocsor Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 Theres no win after a breakup. There's just lose, for everybody to one extent or another. It's totally natural to be angry and pissed off to the nth degree. But trust me when I say that if you leave with dignity you will look back later in life and be much happier. Link to comment
mg22 Posted October 19, 2011 Author Share Posted October 19, 2011 I guess my silence will stay with me forever, and one thing he couldnt take from me was my dignity Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 Thanks everbody, iam holding back on sending that letter... i guess he wins !! he always did win, i hope to god there is such a thing as KARMA !! Do you think he cheated on you with her? Link to comment
mg22 Posted October 19, 2011 Author Share Posted October 19, 2011 OH iam sure he did !! he had no reasons to leave me like that, the last weekend we spent together was awesome !! never saw it coming !! no clue , he was loving and caring......... Link to comment
elastic Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 I wrote a letter to my ex about 3 weeks after our BU. During the BU, she had claimed that I had done nothing wrong, there was no one else and she needed to be single to figure herself out. I let her go without begging or pleading because I love her and she seemed genuinely confused and lost. About a week later she started a relationship with someone she had worked with all summer. My letter was kind and pretty much said how hurt I was that she felt the need to lie to me when she clearly had someone new lined up. I wished her well and told her not to contact me. She never responded directly (as I expected) but I have closure anyway. I just wanted her to know that I knew what really happened and make her feel a bit guilty I guess. About a week ago she did speak to a mutual friend about the situation. She now claims that I took her for granted and never tried as hard as her in the relationship (very far from the truth). She also said that this new guy was not lined up and their getting together so soon was just a coincidence. She is obviously still acting very immature about the whole thing and is more worried about what our friends and family think about her. Keep in mind that our BU was still very fresh but sending the letter really helped me. I definitely took the time to mull it over and sat on it for a week before finally sending it. Her indirect response just reaffirmed that, in her state, she is not someone I want to be with and I can do much better. In your situation, three months is a long time and he has probably moved on. I think you made the right decision. Link to comment
lanaa Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 if a man cheats usually he is noy loving and caring,,you can notice it 3 months is a lot maybe he met her after_ you never know Link to comment
mg22 Posted October 19, 2011 Author Share Posted October 19, 2011 True if i send him the letter he will know i was checking his FACEBOOK , he would probably think iam a stalker ,, Psycho, but i never knew in the beggining the truth ! i wish i did, but what difference would it make??? Link to comment
mhowe Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 Makes no difference. Don't send letter, text, email. Go out and start a new life.....find a good man. Link to comment
LaKings55 Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 I guess my silence will stay with me forever, and one thing he couldnt take from me was my dignity Best mentality to have about the situation Link to comment
Lonewing Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 The only reason i would do this is so he knows that i know the truth, regardless what he thinks !! i want him to feel guilty !! he was always so controlling of me, jelous of me, for no reasons, i never cheated on him, never did anything wrong, so thats what makes me so angry !! he did it to me!! He already knows the truth and I doubt he could care less what you think or know about the truth. He's months beyond into his new relationship. Let him go, because he's already gone. Link to comment
Laylan Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 Did you ever think that he put up pictures just to get to you. I know that a lot of times even when they are the ones who dump they want you going back screaming and yelling, making them think you still want them and can't live without them. I honestly think that he did it to get to you. I know ex has posted pictures he knew would get to me, has done things that in his mind should have made me run to him. I understand that he may have a new girl but i promise you after a 5 year relationship that new girl doesn't just replace you. There is no way in the world that a person forgets someone they spent 5 years with just like that. Link to comment
mg22 Posted October 19, 2011 Author Share Posted October 19, 2011 That what i say LAYLAN, but let me tell you something about him, he is attracted to beauty, and hes very sexual person, i think he got tired of me and replaced me for a much younger women ... he may just be posting these pictures to show off his new GF ! 5 years to him can be replaced over night if hes getting what he wants ! Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 OH iam sure he did !! he had no reasons to leave me like that, the last weekend we spent together was awesome !! never saw it coming !! no clue , he was loving and caring......... But that doesn't mean he was with her sexually before he ended things with you- maybe he asked her out after the break up. Link to comment
Lonewing Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 OH iam sure he did !! he had no reasons to leave me like that, the last weekend we spent together was awesome !! never saw it coming !! no clue , he was loving and caring......... It Doesn't matter if or when he started seeing her. Your relationship with him is over. I'm tellin gyou this as a man who ahs been in a very similar situation. My ex found a new guy months before she got serious with, long before we broke up. It made no difference when or where it happened - my relationship with her is OVER and everything involved in it is CLOSED OUT. And yeah, the last couple weeks/sex was Phenomonal too - never would have seen that coming. But it did. Link to comment
mg22 Posted October 19, 2011 Author Share Posted October 19, 2011 No , within a month the new women posted on her facebook in bold letters stating she was living in Miami and in a relationship with him, so he problaby liked her right away and decided to pursue her, so he thru me out of the picture !! Link to comment
Lonewing Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 Yes. You're out of the picture. This is the first step to accepting reality. The next step is refocusing yourself. You're angry and you want revenge, but you have been effectively declawed, detoothed, tied up and sealed away in a sound proof room as far as he cares. You have been indeed thrown out of the picture. It is his picture, though, and only those he wants in it are in it. there's really nothing you can do whatsoever in regards to him. You can let this go and refocus on rebuilding yoru life, but as far as he goes, he no longer cares, and if you do or say anything to him, it's just more amusement for him. You're gone. It will take some time for you to get your picture back in line, but you can do it as soon as you stop focusing on him. Link to comment
mg22 Posted October 19, 2011 Author Share Posted October 19, 2011 Sad isent it ! i read this and cant believe this is happening to me... blew me away to see what kind of man he really is, how i loved him so.., and know he loves someone he just met, no regards about what we shared, iam no one in his life!! Link to comment
Lonewing Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 Yeah, I know. But consider it like a funeral. No matter what you feel, he can't come back now. And you can't do anything to him that will improve your situation except seal him out of your life. Not for him, but for YOU! Link to comment
Laylan Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 That what i say LAYLAN, but let me tell you something about him, he is attracted to beauty, and hes very sexual person, i think he got tired of me and replaced me for a much younger women ... he may just be posting these pictures to show off his new GF ! 5 years to him can be replaced over night if hes getting what he wants ! That goes away, it never stays for too long. Relationships aren't built on how beautiful a person is. If all he wants is beauty than he'll get sick of her too, there is always someone who is more beautiful. The way i look at it is that no one can spend 2, 3, 4, 5, years with a person- love than and than overnight forget them. In the beginning its a rush and it may feel great when your the one who has done the dumping but trust me over time that will fade. You can not just forget 5 years of your life like that. I don't care what anyone says. Honestly, i'd say that if my boyfriend can leave me after 5 years for a girl whos more beautiful than good that he left and i don't have to deal with him everyday forever. I woudln't want a guy like that anways. Link to comment
Laylan Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 Sad isent it ! i read this and cant believe this is happening to me... blew me away to see what kind of man he really is, how i loved him so.., and know he loves someone he just met, no regards about what we shared, iam no one in his life!! Don't feel that way. Be happy someone like that is out of your life. If he can forget you like that, pray that you can do the same. I would never want to be with someone who didn't want to be with me because i know i deserve to be with someone who loves me and respects me just like i do him. Guys/girls like this will never be happy. Link to comment
Laylan Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 I think that when you love someone so much and they leave they expect you to follow them. They know that while in the relationship you would do anything for them and to them it would mean that you'd be after them no matter what because you just can't live without them. When my ex first dumped me he did some things that really made me want to scream at him. I started to catch on and saw that he was doing it to get a reaction out of me, to see what i would say or do which would make him feel great about himself (the ego kick they need). It was so hard to see some of the stuff he would do but i never gave in. I've just been moving along and living my life. So i'd say just keep your head up and know that your a great person. You gave that relationship all you had and if someone like him can't see and respect that than you really deserve better!!! Link to comment
PrettyGood Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 Go, DO IT! Actually, you will have a bigger wish to write him if we all ask you NOT to. Link to comment
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