He added his ex to friendlist, cause she threatened to commit suicide

[PrettyGood]

So today I've noticed that my bf of several months has added his ex to his social website friendlist. I knew she's chasing him and making him a lot of problems because she's very jealous of me and trying to revenge us in any way she can. Just yesterday he told me about one of such problems she tried to cause and today she's in his friendlist? After she removed herself from there just after he dumped her?

 

His excuse was that yesterday she tried to commit suicide. I told him that suiciders just kill themselves, not telling other people about it. And he replied "I know". And that's all. I'm totally mad at him cause yesterday he explained me (it was his wish to talk about it) that everything is definitelly OVER between them no matter how she wants him back and that I'm the one and only. Should I be angry on him now? I replied that he's always giving me a lot of excuse why he still let her do a lot of things, but it's his excuses, not her. How should I behave and react from now? I don't want to make a tornado conflict out of it, but I'm really mad at him if he said that she has NO chances to get him back.

[oldenoughtoknow]

I wouldn't be happy about it. If she were pestering him and he was actively trying to make her go away, fine. You can't control what other people do, you just have to try to do the right thing. Now she's supposedly attempted suicide. I don't see where that's his problem. If he had properly gotten rid of her, he never would have known about it in the first place. Continuing contact, and especially buying into her drama, wouldn't work for me.

 

Psycho ex's can be dealbreakers.

[engraved2008]

I wouldn't be happy about it. If she were pestering him and he was actively trying to make her go away, fine. You can't control what other people do, you just have to try to do the right thing. Now she's supposedly attempted suicide. I don't see where that's his problem. If he had properly gotten rid of her, he never would have known about it in the first place. Continuing contact, and especially buying into her drama, wouldn't work for me.

 

Psycho ex's can be dealbreakers.

Well,if they decided to stay friends,its his fault too..i know one of the reasons me and my ex were fighting was ,guess what ...his exes....he wanted to be friends with them...now if he broke her heart,he may break yours too.....people dont change.....if he got tired of her,that can happen here too.....its a lot things that us women we do not know....we know only what they tell us....

[Mesemene]

I don't know who broke up with whom - but you might want to explain to him that if he has no intentions of getting back with her - prolonging contact as "friends" isn't supporting her - it's inadvertently going to torment her. He's not doing her any favors by being "friends" if she still has strong feelings for him, it's just going to delay her being able to heal from the breakup.

[robintoronto]

Coming from a guy - I'd say if you want any sort of cooperation from him, don't be mad at him. It only drives him away.

 

If he's an intelligent fellow and has any sort of emotional commitment to you, you can deal with this rationally and work it out. If he is neither of the two, then I think you need to question yourself why is it that you're trying that hard anyways.

 

 

If I were you -

1) I would try to keep my insecurities in check.

2) Tell him your concerns. Not why you're angry at him, but rather what is your concerns and why that exactly wasn't the best move.

3) If he still goes ahead and continues to let this girl in, then you gotta question whether he is really on your side or not. Because he does is his prerogative and you have no control over it. You can yell and scream and make him do your bidding while he is in front of you, but eventually he will do what he wants later on when he's alone. Not the kind of relationship you want to anyways.

 

So sit and chat it over. Don't bite his head off. Reward him if he does things right. Come up with a plan together. And everything will work out alright. This is a drop in the bucket of things you guys will need to handle in your life together. Get the drill down pat I would say.

[FathomFear]

Rather than be mad at him I would help him come up with better solutions. If an ex is threatening suicide over him not being his friend, he really should be polite but firm with her and suggest that she seek therapy and/or inform one of her friends/family so they are aware that she might in fact be suicidal. He should handle it tactfully as she potentially could be serious, but at the same time he shouldn't make it his problem. It's something she needs to work out with therapy and her loved ones.

[RedDress]

This guy?

 

 

 

At BEST (and I am being extremely generous) - he has completely inappropriate boundaries with other women. At worst, he's cheating on you.

 

My money is on the fact that he is cheating on you. You SHOULD be mad!

[PrettyGood]

This guy?

 

Yes the same, and it already began to p..s me off that I have to pretend so naive. I hate that. I would like to find another person and dump him earlier than he broke my heart, no matter how he says "AMAZING" I'm to him and asking to "SUPPORT" him emotionally and "TRUST" him and "NOT DO ANY DRAMA".

[RedDress]

Yes the same, and it already began to p..s me off that I have to pretend so naive. I hate that. I would like to find another person and dump him earlier than he broke my heart, no matter how he says "AMAZING" I'm to him and asking to "SUPPORT" him emotionally and "TRUST" him and "NOT DO ANY DRAMA".

 

Why do you have to find someone else in order to dump him? You should just do it...

[ILYx3]

if ur ex came up to you and say like"if u dont add me on ur facebooks friends list, ill commit suicide"

how would u feel? i dont want to make him suicideill just add him and get over it. if i was in that situation. also u dont have to worry, hes all urs now, not his ex's.

if things get out of hand tell his ex to quit it and stop trying to get attention from ur bf

[HeartGoesOn]

Yes the same, and it already began to p..s me off that I have to pretend so naive. I hate that. I would like to find another person and dump him earlier than he broke my heart, no matter how he says "AMAZING" I'm to him and asking to "SUPPORT" him emotionally and "TRUST" him and "NOT DO ANY DRAMA".

 

PrettyGood...This is simply not working. Why not take a break from dating, and attempt to get your life together?

 

Are you afraid of being alone?

[FathomFear]

I'm confused. Is this the same person you're talking about in this thread?

 

I would agree with HeartGoesOn. You probably need to spend time by yourself.