3 Libras Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 We have been married for 15 yrs. We have two children 18 and 16. We got married at 18 when she got pregnant. Our marriage has been a roller coaster ride through out the years. We have fought a lot and the good times have been far and between especially over the last 5 yrs. I'm an alcoholic that is in a very popular local rock band. I have put the bottle and the band over my family for the last 5 yrs. I have treated her like dirt and took everything for granted. I didn't come home a lot after shows because we live out of town and I stayed at my drummer's house so I didn't have to drink and drive. She knew where I was at and could have checked up on me if she wanted to. I begged her to come to shows but she never wanted to because she resented the band. About three weeks ago she said she was going to go out with her friends in the town she works at, which is about 60 miles from our house. She said that she was staying all night with her friend and that she would be home when she got home. The next night she told me she was leaving me because she needs the space and that she was going to stay at her friends when I was at home. I work out of town and I'm gone 3 to 4 nights a week. I'm always home on the weekends. For the next two weekends she stayed with her friend. It was business as usual, I was still partying and I thought she was just going out with her friends and getting her space. Boy was I wrong. I got the phone bill off of the internet and found that she had been calling and texting the same number over and over. There were over 10 hrs of calls and 200 text messages in two weeks. I called the number and it was a guy. I confronted her and she confessed that she was talking to someone. Then she confessed the next day to going out to dinner with him twice. She met him on the night before she told me she was leaving. She wouldn't return my calls or text for a day or so. Then she gave me 15 min. two days in a row. She told me how I forced her in to leaving and that she gave me chances to change and even ask me to go to a marriage counceler. I told her how sorry I was and that I was totally wrong and I wanted to change and that I was mad at her but would forgive her. I said some things that were out of anger but I also begged her to stop seeing him and how much I wanted to make this right. I've talked to her a couple times for an hour or two over the last couple of days. The conversation is pretty cut and dry. She wants to continue to see him and doesn't want to give me a chance to show her how I can make her happy again. I feel like I'm pushing her away by bugging her but I can't help to fight for what I want. I haven't had a drink in a week now and have started on building my relationship back with my children. She has agreed to talk to me Friday in person at the house. She wants to talk about the bills and how we are going to continue on until she files for divorce. She doesn't have the money to now. I don't know what to say or do when I see her for the first time since I found out. I don't want her to think I'm pitiful for crying and begging for her back but I also want her to at least stop seeing him for now. All she can say is she is happy now and it's over. Any advice on how I should proceed moving forward to try and get my wife back would be appreciated. Link to comment
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