It's been 2 months.

[backatone]

This is my 2 month check-in.

 

I've had some good things happen to me lately. Biggest one was a promotion I had been trying to get for abut 3 years. Again, didn't really feel like it mattered as much as it should have without her. I still believe I was progressively losing my self-confidence while trying to get this promotion at work and showing her how frustrated I was and how I was starting to doubt myself.

 

Thursday will be her official graduation. I get a very ill feeling from knowing I won't be there. I was the biggest support in her school life. She'll admit this. I still want to be there for this event, even if we don't ever get back together or even become friends again.

 

This is extremely tough. I know I keep holding onto the fact that we dated almost 10 years as the reason it so tough to move on. I know people say it'll take time, but I honestly want to wake up tomorrow and not care anymore. I would love for anything for her to come back to me. Many people somehow think she will when she figures out what she needs to figure out. But I have come to terms that she isn't going to be back. Even if she wanted to, she'd never admit it and I'm at the point where I will stick to NC/NIC. So.....stalemate.

 

I'm having a terrible day. This week is going to be one of the toughest yet.

[Autumnleaves]

Congratulations on the promotion

 

I just joined tonight so I have no idea of your history or why you guys split up. Have you tried contacting her & telling her how you feel?

[backatone]

At first, I did. first 2 weeks into it. After that I went into NC because I was a mess. I didn't like the person I had become. I needed her to be happy and that wasn't right. The time away has given me a fresh perspective, but I am slowly starting to understand that I no longer need her to be happy, but want her with me to share my happiness. Losing both a bestfriend and a girlfriend of that many years is the toughest thing I've ever had to deal with.

 

Thanks for the reply. It really helps when there are people out there to listen to me. I'm sure my friends are all tired of hearing me say the same things over and over again for 2 months

[Autumnleaves]

I does help to talk & very true that you can start to feel a burden on family & friends, Thank goodness for the internet.

 

How long has it been since you guys split up? If you don't mind me asking. If you've taken some time out, thought it through & are still feeling strong feelings towards her & wanting the relationship back, then why not try putting your feelings down on paper. Write her a letter, be open & honest about how you're feeling. You also run the risk of her not replying or rejecting you which could set you back again. It's difficult, only you know her & how she might react. But at least if you knew it wasn't going to happen then you could start the moving on process.

[brandon5359]

It is common if you are with someone for that long that you rely on them for a source of happiness. Happiness is found within. Focus on your promotion at work. If you go to her event you will be back to square 1. I would highly recommend that you do not go.