Jump to content

having a hard time :(


Recommended Posts

I've generally doing okay for the past 3 weeks but last night I started getting pretty down.


It's been 3 weeks since she went from the i miss you's I can't live without you in my life to finding another guy almost instantly. Today she changed her facebook picture to a picture of them. (I know I shouldn't have looked) It hit me pretty hard. I feel like everything she said in the end was a lie.


I havent heard from her in 3 weeks. I've been NC completely. But it doesn't really matter. after 1.5yrs together I guess it only took a week to forget me. I guess i never really meant anything to begin with. I hate this crap. I just wish it would fail and she would realize that we actually had something. I'm not a bad looking guy, but this guy is better looking than me, really thin.. What he sees in a 5 foot 180lb girl is beyond me.


Guess it really is over, and now I have to live with the lies at the end in bewilderment... Funny a couple weeks prior to the breakup she was talking about suicide and stuff and now she's as happy as can be. Doubt I'm even a thought in her mind now.... so much for "I hate sex, i just dont like it." "I wish I had time to work on us" "I don't have time for a relationship"... all lies?? Is it still a rebound...? Not really sure theres a second chance now. I know there was love, hell a few days before getting into a relationship with "hes just a friend" she told me she still loved me and cared for me... was even chasing me a bit while I was no contact for the first week and a half fter the split, but then she got into a full relationship with this guy. all seems so hopeless now. so much for "lets take things slow, I still want to be with you i just dont have time for a relationship right now" Why do girls always lie????


The fact the breadcrumbs immediately stopped once she found "hes just a friend, this isnt the end we still have a chance" really makes me believe there is no second shot.


I thought after 3 weeks things would be easier... But feeling so completely replaced makes this so much harder. Shoot me.

Link to comment

Hey I have been in a similair position to you mate. about 2 years ago a girl that I had been with for nearly 2 years and lived with (far away from all my family and friends) waited for me to go visit them and then decided to move a guy into our house and told me to not bother coming back. For weeks she wouldnt answer my calls or tell me what was going on, then one day she told me the guy she moved in was now her ''boyfriend''. For a month I was devastated and felt like my world was falling apart, She said some of the most hurtful things I could imagine and told me about their sex lives just to hurt me. I eventually gave up on getting back together and stopped all forms of contact with her. A month or two down the line I was healed and happy and she was still with her ''Boyfriend'' but kept ringing my house and my mobile but I just ignored it. Fast forward to now and I have no feelings good or bad for her so we are able to talk and she told me that she missed me and wanted me back after a month even while she was with her ''boyfriend'' and a year down the line she still regrets her decision while I couldnt care less. Basically what im trying to get at is it hurts now but it will get better and you will move on. Get out as much as you can and spend as much time with close friends and family. I really hope this helps mate. Im going through another break up with a girl that meant so much to me and I really hope to reconcile with her.

Link to comment

It helps a little. We lived together too for a good part of the 1.5yrs. She moved out 2 months prior to the breakup saying she wanted to be closer to school (its not any farther). Man its tough though. She seemed like she wanted to work on things but just "didnt have the time" She brokeup saying things got boring. She's never had a relationship that lasted past the honeymoon stage. She was always dumped around the 6 month mark. I'm the only guy that has really lasted a long time, and I'm the only guy SHE has dumped. At the end I realized things were getting boring and routine so I was trying to take her out more, but she just kept blowing me off to hang with friends. After she dumped me I went NC and she was chasing for about a week and a half wanting to work on things. She showed up at my house even! Said she was always driving by my house but too scared to come up because she thought I would slam the door in her face.


Two days later she's in a relationship with a guy she got setup with by her gramma on a blind date. "were just friends, this is not your queue to exit, I still care about you so much and I wish we could work on things... Its just not right right now" Thats the last I heard from her... She never contacted me again to tell me she missed me. It's been 3 weeks and it's agonizing.


I guess the one thing in my mind that blows my mind is. I'm a good looking guy. I mean I ganed like 35lbs over the past year and a half, but am still attractive. But this guy is pretty good looking too, thin/athletic. Hah the picture that set me off today I was just wondering in my mind " what is he doing with her?" She didn't look attractive at all in the photo! I mean, nice thin dude with a short chubby girl? I mean honestly, I'de say hes 10x better looking than her.


Meh, I'm just piecing everything together trying to figure out what the lies were and what the truth is and what my future is going to be. I'm trying to move on, but after a year and a half I know for my part it will take a while. But I'm just wondering if I'll ever have a second chance... I guess there's no way to know. I guess I just hope her new relationsihp is doomed to failure.

Link to comment

I think the best thing you can do now is stay NC even if she tries to contact you i think it would be better to let yourself heal up. If she turns up at your house dont be rude but just let her know you are not her back up plan and she cant just walk back into your life after what she has done to you.


I understand how much it hurts to be blind sided by a girl saying she loves you one minute and the next thing you know theres another guy in the picture. Try to use that to feel angry at her for hurting you and think is that really the type of person you deserve, if you think thats all you deserve then you selling yourself short.


Dont worry about him and her. Your a good looking guy so go hang out with other girls. I dont mean try find a rebound or someone to have sex with but spend some time with female friends and hang out. Also go gym and lose that 35lbs it will make you feel so much better about yourself and personally gym keeps my mind of girl troubles.


If you really want her back im afraid the only thing you can do is let her come back on her own and then decide if its what you still want. You cant force her or convince her that will just push her away. I felt exactly the same with my ex and her rebound bf but after a while I didnt even care anymore and one day you will get to that point where you wonder why you were so upset. Stay strong man

Link to comment

It's hard I'll admit. I've been trying for the past 3 weeks to just forget about everything. I guess it just blows my mind how someone could lie to you and just leave you in an instant for someone else after 1.5yrs together and living together for about 1yr. Well I doubt I'll hear from her again she's "happy" now. But does that eventually wear off in these situations?


I've decided to move. Too many memories in this place for me to stay.

Link to comment

You're still holding on to hope & that's what's stopping you from moving on. You need to convince yourself that it's over & that there is no going back. I agree with the NC rule. It's hard we've all been there & it hurts like hell, but time does make things better.


I can understand your anger at the lies, I came out of a 5 year relationship in January I was with a guy who's mouth said one thing & his actions another. He asked me to marry him, put a lovely ring on my finger, then made excuse after excuse. The relationship didn't grow or go forward. I was still seeing him 2 nights a week after 5 years together. Even now he's still lying blaming me for everything & refuses to accept, we both were at fault. That for me has been the hardest issue to deal with.


It certainly sounds like the relationship is on the rebound. Those kind of relationships very rarely workout. Keep yourself busy, get yourself out with the boys & find new interests. Good luck.


I would also suggest blocking her on FB so you're not tempted to look at her profile.

Link to comment

I seriously doubt that she found the guy almost instantly. It sounds like it was something in the works for a while. Block her from facebook and don't look at her profile. When you do so it will just set you back and you may find out something you don't want to know. Take it as a blessing that it ended now. If she is talking about suicide she is not mentally stable. STAY AWAY AND GO COMPLETE NO CONTACT.

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...