stlewis1218 Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 First off I want to say I'm writing here because it feels therapeutic. I've been writing a lot on here and it feels better to to put something on here that other people can see, and maintain my anonymity, so thank you. I start seeing a counselor next week. I've come to the realization that most of my depression this whole summer shouldn't be directed at my ex, or at least derived from her. By not having her around, the loneliness sets in. I have a great group of close friends, they listen when i need it and are never to out of tune for me to have a shoulder. What I'm thinking about now is how out of whack my life is. The two of us(my ex and I) had a plan. And while i know as much as wanting to finish school as soon as possible. I don't know where to go from there. I always think about the future, and now i don't where to go. My mom is facing terminal illness and my dad has his own health issues. I still live at home at 25. With her we had something like the next 3 years figured out. I'm no where near ready to love again, and fear i won't for sometime. My ex was all of my support. Not that I don't receive it elsewhere but hers was the only one that gave me reason, or at least that took me seriously. So I ask myself what next, I knew what my life goals are, but it seems impossible to trek out on my own like this. I have pockets of family and friends elsewhere, but I don't want to be that guy, the wanderer. I'm not really as strong as I imagined myself to be at this age. I don't know how people do it. One of my best friends lives alone and i don't understand how he doesn't go crazy. He's a bit of introvert, and so am i. I used to be more outgoing but have lost some of that energy since high school, and feel completely disconnected from people. So much for the wife, house and kids by 25, or at least closer to it. thanks for listening Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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