Difficulty healing advice, ex left me for someone else

[Joc07001]

'I cannot bear to see him get picked up late at night and return the next day. I wouldn't be able to sleep'

 

My bf and I were together for ~2yrs. He is 20yrs and i am 22 yrs. We lived together for about year and actually still do today in an apartment off campus. I used to do everything for him, drive him everywhere, cook, clean and even helped him with a lot of his assignments in college. Looking back now he didn't really appreciate the things that I have done to promote the relationship, he kinda just assumed that i should be doing those things for him. (which is not good now looking back) i even introduced him to my family which love and accepted him. I can honestly say that I loved him and was so attached to him and enjoyed doing things for him. He said the same to me. He did treat me well, sometimes he could be really sweet. Towards the last quarter of our relationship things began to change. We began getting into small arguments which grew into larger ones and sometimes could become physical. Sometimes I just felt like it was best for us to end it, regardless of my love for him, because we were both going different directions in life. Plus he was an international student so after college he would return to China his home. Every time he would convince me to stay and made me realize that we could make it work. He got me so attached to him. This past week we got into a dumb argument over food. That weekend I went home to visit my family. When I came back he asked to take a break and began sobbing that he was too young and didn't know what he wanted he wanted to try other things. He said he loved me and didnt want to lose me. He wanted a one month break and see if he still wanted to be with me after a month. I was sooooo hurt. I never ever would imagine him cheating on me, never. And he promised he would never. Well He lied to me. I wanted to just break up because I can't handle him being with someone else during the break so we stayed together. I came back from work the next day when he text me saying he was sleeping over one of his girl-friend house. I called that girl and she said he wasn't there. I began to get suspicious. Our mutual friend in the apartment below us came up and told me he was at some guys house and that he was sleeping there. I also learned that he met with the guy and they kissed when I went home that weekend. I was so hurt and could not sleep the whole night. I tortured myself the whole night thinking what they could have been doing. I felt so betrayed and moved to a friends apartment and will be staying there for awhile because I really want to forget him. I confronted him yesterday and he admitted and said he wanted to try something new. It feels like the only reason he wanted this one month break was to use me as a backup if this new guy doesn't work out. This destroyed me and made me wonder if he ever loved me at all. He made me feel like 2nd hand trash. It really hurt that he felt that he hasn't done something wrong. I decide dto delete everything of his and staying at my friends place until I have strength to return to that apartment. I don't want to get back with him but we live in same apartment with both our name on lease. Lease is up in 3 months but how can I get over him when we live together. I can't stay at my friends place forever and we are both paying high rent and I can't kick him out. What should I do? I can't focus on school just keep thinking about him and that guy and that he doesn't care much about how much he hurt me. I feel so helpless and so rejected. I loved him so much and I done so much for him and this relationship. He says he has these feelings for me but is literally still with this guy right now as I post this. Last night I told him I definitely don't want him no more regardless of my feelings for him and that he hurt me so bad. He begged me to stay but I think that it is only to be backup. How to get over him if I still live with him for 3 more months and see him when I go back. It would tear me apart seeing him getting picked up by that guy late at night and not returning until the next day. I wouldn't be able to rest. I tried canceling the lease even but they are telling me I have to pay everything for the remainder of the lease which I don't have money yet. Please give me some good advice on how to get over him while living in the same apartment. How to deal with the fact he is with someone else and not me and that I still love him but cannot go back to him. I was so good to him.

[lukeb]

Two years is a tricky time, the newness of the relationship has worn off and it is too short generally for a deeper connection. There probably was something there for the both of you and if he was the one to dump you he probably had a while to think about it so he would be much farther along as you in moving on. It is not ideal that you are forced to live together, I would try to see if you can trade residences with a fellow student. It is just going to take some time to get over this, that is just the way it is.

[Joc07001]

Two years is a tricky time, the newness of the relationship has worn off and it is too short generally for a deeper connection. There probably was something there for the both of you and if he was the one to dump you he probably had a while to think about it so he would be much farther along as you in moving on. It is not ideal that you are forced to live together, I would try to see if you can trade residences with a fellow student. It is just going to take some time to get over this, that is just the way it is.

 

 

I feel like he just wants to use me as a backup plan just incase the guy he is seeing now does not work out. He called me an hour ago asking me to return to the apartment so that we could talk. I didn't want to see or talk to him for fear of him trying to persuade me to go back to him. But if it is true that he is just using me as a backup plan, then me going back to him will help him to succeed in this plan. I have no idea what he wanted to talk about. He makes me so anxious I dont want to see him at all. I'm just scared of what he wants to say. He already apologized many times but I'm sure he is going to continue seeing that guy. That doesn't work for me. I asked people to switch apartments with me but no one wants to. I'm afraid that eventually I'm going to have to return to the apartment p because I cannot stay at my friends place forever. And like I said before, I'm trying to get over him and for me to return to the apartment would make it more difficult. And if he is still seeing that guy and leaves at night and returns the next day, it's going to kill me so much

[TRoT]

Any updates? What happened? Going through something similar as well.