loveyoulater Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 hey, i have a very weird problem. i believe i have met my soulmate. now, i don't actually believe in magical soulmates, but yeah, i've met the only person on this earth who... i can call a soulmate. understands me completely without even speaking. makes me feel not alone. can't imagine that i would even know who i was if i had never met him. i'm 25, i met him when i was 14. i knew immediately he was my soulmate, we talked for 8 hours on the phone one night, he made me feel like finally there was someone who understood me. we dated for a month and then something happened... i felt a loss. i felt like we meant more as just friends than we did now that he was my boyfriend. before there was all the excitement of getting to know eachother and having late night conversations and crazy star-crossed feelings... and now he was just sitting on the couch with me and my friends, eating popcorn, being my boyfriend, and i felt like my life was unexciting. SO like any typical 14-year-old-girl, i broke up with him and got back with my dramatic ex-boyfriend so my life could be exciting again. he was really upset, but me and my "soulmate" remained best friends ever since. and i don't think he ever got over me. well... i know he never got over me. this has been our relationship for the past decade or so: i'll be with another guy, always deeply in love with them and caring about them (or sometimes obsessing over them), but my best friend is always there. i'm always comparing the guys i'm with to my best friend. he's the only person who understands me. not even my best girl friend or my family seems to understand me like he does. he makes me feel so not alone... i don't even feel like i need to see him very often, sometimes we can go months without really seeing eachother, but just knowing he's "there", around in the world, makes me feel... okay. not alone. everyone assumes we're together. the way we laugh, our chemistry, the way we have adventures together, the way he can take the most serious and unfortunate situation and make a joke and make me smile, NOBODY else can do that. my friends often tell me they can see us getting married. so here's the problem. i'm not attracted to him physically, and really hate being intimate with him. sometimes he'll pull things like try and kiss me, or touch me, and he always apologizes later, but it makes it really hard for me to be comfortable in certain situations with him. in fact, i think it's what damaged our relationship so much. he's not unattractive at all, plenty of girls think he's cute... but i just don't feel that way about him. the idea of being intimate with him creeps me out, i don't have any drive to kiss him or touch him. we kissed a few times and i didn't really feel... right. i don't know. it just creeps me out. i think i put a lot of walls up around me. when he gets too close, i pull back. when i give him an inch, he tries to push for a mile. it's just made me really... well... i resent him, in a way. anyway, long story short: he's UTTERLY in love with me, and nobody else. i am convinced no other man will ever measure up to him. i am not physically attracted to him. so i honestly don't know what to do. i'm angry at him that he's the only one who understands me, and i'm not attracted to him. like other people in the world get to find their soulmates and have romantic, passionate love affairs, and i'm "stuck" with this guy. i'm currently dating a wonderful guy who i'm very attracted to, who is sweet and we have a wonderful friendship, but he just isn't... well, he isn't my best friend. my soulmate. like, what am i asking for, here?! what do i do?! sorry this is so long and rambling! i'm just really tired of thinking about this. Link to comment
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