t89 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 My past never bothered me much until now. I am in a relationship and I am so in love with my boyfriend and I regret never giving him a chance when we first met 8 years ago. While i was a teen i hung out with the wrong people. I did stupid things... make out with people who i would never even think of kissing now! I lost my virginity to someone who i wasn't even in love with and only did because i wanted to have sex and actually thought he really did like me. i had sex outside, like REALLY? what the **** was i thinking, we could have easily gotten caught!!!! I was insecure, i never really had many people liking me at my old school until i moved, and when i did the people from this small city i guess will try and get what they want, and me being the gullible girl went along with it. looking back i regret everything. Every time i think of what i have done i get sick to my stomach. I wish i would have had a normal relationship and would have waited and lost it to the person who loved me. when i see people who are still with the person they lost it to, i get so jealous all day every day i think about my past regrets and i hate myself. i was so stupid and i can't get over it and i don't know what to do! I even hate the number of people i have had sex with which is 6 and i am only 22 eyars old. I really want to get rid of these thoughts and just be happy with my boyfriend, but i feel like a total screw up and that i don't deserve to be happy. I'm so stupid Link to comment
r0ckox Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 I lost mine outside, too. My friend thought it would be funny to come out in the middle of it and offer me some cheetos. Link to comment
t89 Posted October 17, 2011 Author Share Posted October 17, 2011 I lost mine outside, too. My friend thought it would be funny to come out in the middle of it and offer me some cheetos. lol. wow. that actually made me smile. Link to comment
Flyingpiglet Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 If you hadn't done all the things that you've done in your past... You might not be the person that you are today. If you had got with your boyfriend 8 years ago, there's no saying that it would have gone the distance! Now you've done your playing around, you've had your fun, and you're ready for something different. Leave the past in the past and rest in the knowledge that you are finally ready for a proper relationship with the person that you love Link to comment
SingingHorizon Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Hmm, maybe you could try talking to your boyfriend about how you feel? Also, we all make mistakes, and have things that we are not so proud of. Whether it be huge things, or tiny seemingly insignificant things. It's better to maybe talk to somebody about it that way you can get some of it off your chest- so to speak- and it will make you feel a lot better. Trust me, it helps! Just talk to your significant other, I'm sure he'll be receptive, and help soothe you. Link to comment
t89 Posted October 18, 2011 Author Share Posted October 18, 2011 I understand that everyone learns from their past and it makes them who they are today because of the lessons learned but i just can't get over it. I am so unhappy with myself and i keep replaying these past regrets in my head. I am on the urge of crying. The thing is, it didn't bother me until my boyfriend started asking me about my past when he was drunk.... he pretty much made me feel like complete * * * * about myself. and of course the next day apologized. since that say this past july, this is all i think about all day every day. I am so stressed and i just really don't know what to do with myself Link to comment
Flyingpiglet Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 I would suggest that you talk to your boyfriend about how you feel. I'm sure that, if he feels the same way about you as you do about him, he will be mortified that his reaction has upset you thins much. We all have a past, some peoples more colourful than others. But you can't allow it to ruin your future! Talk it out (sober) then you may be able to let it go. Link to comment
r0ckox Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 lol. wow. that actually made me smile. haha, yup. something i'll never forget! i paid him back when he lost it at my house with some girl... i offered doritos Link to comment
jooj Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 I lost my virginity to the wrong person too when I was 17 and since I come from a culture where a girl is supposed to save her virginity until after marriage I felt extremely guilty and I hated myself and cried to sleep everynight. This experience has made me the strong woman I am today and I will not settle for a man who cannot forgive me for my past. We cannot change the past but we can learn to forgive and love ourselves. Link to comment
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