eternalsunrise Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 I'm curious, do you (anyone reading this!) feel you have people in your life who are 100% supportive of all of your choices in your life? I mean is it possible that ONE person can agree with and support ALL of your choices? I guess the reason I"m asking is because lately I've been frustrated because I wish I had someone I can talk to who is supportive about everything, rather than disagree/negatively judge on some things. Not that I need total approval for my choices, but it would be nice to have that in a friend rather than have various friends/fam in my life who support various things and disagree with various things. The types of things I'm talking about are like 1-choice of boyfriend 2-decision to change careers and/or go back to school 3-interests/how I spend time Am I being unrealistic? I just get so exhausted from feeling like I've gotta really think before I talk about certain topics with specific people in my life. It got me wondering, is it even possible to have one person I can be fully open with. I think a long time ago, I used to think your bf/significant other should be that person. What do yall think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 It would be nice if we had that. I think some people ARE 100% supportive even if they do not agree. You can still be supportive and not agree. Not agreeing is not the same thing as judging. You will always face some sort of disagreement with everyone because we are not the same, we do not have the same experiences or values or genetics or environment or anything. So, yes I think it is unrealistic to expect 100% support %100 of the time from people. However pick people who support and uphold you MOST of the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatsMeeoow Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 I completely agree with Victoria66... and honestly are you looking for someone to always tell you you are right? I think the people I hold dearest in my life are those who I know would have my back if I needed it but also are the ones who would (with greatest kindest) give me their opinion even if it isn't something I'd want to hear. Of course they'd still love me for the choices I made even if they didn't agree but they just want to be sure I'm making those choices for the right reason and for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 I agree with this and I think part of the work involved in healthy relationships is having a good filter and being tactful in what you choose to share, when and how. I don't agree that I need to agree with someone's choices to act in a supportive way. In fact the mark of a true friend IMO is someone who acts in a supportive way despite disagreeing with your choices. It's so much easier to be supportive when you agree! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToF Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 My parents, my boyfriend and my close friends (I'd say about a handful of people, total) are all 100% supportive of my decisions. But there have been times when I knew that each one of them (either together or all at once) did not agree with my decisions. The support from my parents has so far been unconditional. My friends and boyfriend have always supported me, but they have made it clear that they will not support a decision if they feel I'm not making it for the right reasons. Example: I changed my prospective major for grad school, and my boyfriend said he would not have been supportive, had I only been choosing this new path because I felt the other one was "too hard", because he knows I have what it takes to do anything. Sometimes, the support you need comes in the form of someone challenging your decision. You'll either fight for it, or realize you're making a mistake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mactownman Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 I agree with this and I think part of the work involved in healthy relationships is having a good filter and being tactful in what you choose to share, when and how. I don't agree that I need to agree with someone's choices to act in a supportive way. In fact the mark of a true friend IMO is someone who acts in a supportive way despite disagreeing with your choices. It's so much easier to be supportive when you agree! Precisely. Agreement and support are very different things. Those that truly care about you will support you regardless. Keep those people close. My parents and my brothers are unconditionally supportive and vice versa. I have a few friends who are the same way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 I would hope my friends would be totally unsupportive if I was about to make a major bonehead mistake. That's what friends are for, honest opinions. If someone agrees with everything you do, they are not really a friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalsunrise Posted October 21, 2011 Author Share Posted October 21, 2011 Thanks for the feedback guys! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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