Crazy about meeting his mom for a 1st time. Any suggestions? :)

[PrettyGood]

So we're from different countries and he mentioned that he will present me for his mom on winter holidays for a 1st time. This was such a positive surprise for me that I got too much excited about it! First I asked everything about her, then I searched on the interned and found her blog. Then read EVERYTHING a-z about her hobbies and everything else. I told him that I did it. Then decided to learn his native language basics to make her a bigger impression. And now I'm going crazy about choosing the right dress to meet her and have a dinner with her which will be only in 2 months...

 

In this time he showed some of my pictures to her and she think that I'm beautiful like a model. And while he saw all my efforts and I think that I bend over myself, because in 1 month he already got a little bit colder and distanced. Sometimes I even think that he feels sorry about the whole idea to bring me to his mother. Maybe he thought that I'm some kind of psycho (it's just his mother!) but I really REALLY want to make her huge impression on me

 

Please give me some advices about the whole situation, about communicating with him during this 2 months period, about meeting her and what kind of dress should I buy? I want something very elegant but not too extravagant - also it will be winter and there will be a lot of snow. And even if the meeting and dinner will be held at her house, I don't want to get cold or to look too conservative. His mother looks very stylish and modern woman. Oh, and should I bring her some gifts?

[FathomFear]

Are you both from cultures where this is typically a very big occasion with lots of significance? My first impression was that you're overthinking this and that it's not a big deal, but when I realized that's probably my own culture talking.

[Moontiger]

Relax! Lol, just be yourself, ask her question and listen to her answers, if you find she enjoys something you don't know a lot about ask question about it. Do not mention you have done this much research on her, while you don't intend it this way it could come off as a bit creepy to her.

 

My ex's mom and I bonded over our love for Jane Austen, she loved going to antique stores and I started to join her every time I would visit. Avoid the three BIG topics, politics, money, and religion, offer to help with dishes etc.

 

Good luck!

[Miss Kitty]

I gotta agree with Moontiger about the three BIG topics. My brother brought over his girlfriend to meet my Papa. She comes from a family where many of the members only speak Spanish though the live in America. My Papa decided to go on a rant (not knowing about her family) about how anyone who doesn't speak English should be deported. It ended with her in tears and never wanting to see him again. Not a great first impression.

 

Also, make sure things at home are good when she comes over. When I introduced my ex to my family the first time, we had a not so great surprise. My brother's girlfriend had, in her niave nature, eaten some brownies a party her and my brother had gone to. He had brought her to the house because he didn't know what to do. She was a having a bad trip. She kept touching everything to make sure it was still real and asking people if they were real or not and touching her self in strange places. It made for a very awkward night for my bf who had never been around anyone who has ever done drugs and comes from a very religious and sheltered home life. That relationship didn't last, lol.

[PrettyGood]

ask her question and listen to her answers, if you find she enjoys something you don't know a lot about ask question about it.

 

What if she doesn't speak the language we talk in between with her son and I don't talk her language? I thought my bf could be our translator, but I'm not sure if he will do that

[Moontiger]

Ask your boyfriend if he will be a translator for you, and a smile always goes a long way. I would bring something to give her, flowers, wine, etc.

 

If you are coming from a different culture then she is ask your BF what things you should avoid doing/be sure to do. Again, have fun and relax.

 

I meet my ex mom before I meet the rest of him family, who I meet 80 members of all at once at a chirstmas party...trust me you will make it through!

[TheVP]

Is this the same cheating guy with the suicidal girlfriend? Maybe not worth so much effort.

[PrettyGood]

Is this the same cheating guy with the suicidal girlfriend? Maybe not worth so much effort.

 

Yes the same