beating up the person your ex left you for

[shortest_straw90]

has anyone done this? I'm not saying its something I'd do as much as it would feel awesome haha.

just wondering if anyone has done it or almost done it, if you did do it what happened afterwards you get the idea.

[heartache1]

This post actually made me chuckle. I'd need a gang to help me, as it wasn't just one person. Thing is, I've tried to contact them all via Facebook, and they don't reply. He's obviously already prepped them about the "psycho ex", so they probably just feel sorry for him, tell him and have a laugh about it. The best thing you can do is not react, I'm learning that slowly but surely. It's too easy to take it out on the other person....but to be fair, I know my ex would've lied through his teeth, so it's not their fault, they have just swallowed his crap like I have over the years.

[shortest_straw90]

glad i could amuse you haha.

I wouldnt do it to the guy who i think my ex is going to get with because apparently when she first told him that she was with me he backed off and told her to do whatever made her happy. in my opinion thats the either a guy who knows exactly what a girl wants to hear or a guy who actually cares.

I'll wait it out and see what sort of guy he turns out to be before opening a can of whoop ass lol.

If he hurt her then Id definitely be up for it haha.

[Day88]

Na you don't want to go down that route buddy. I think anyone who has done it (unless like you say he hurt her) regrets it straight away. And it doesn't make you look good.

[In the Dark]

It was her choice, she could have said no and not dumped you for him so nothing will be achieved.

[shortest_straw90]

haha i wasnt planning on doing it I was just curious. Obviously it crossed my mind when I first found out about it but I want the upper hand now. It was just a curiosity thing to see if anyone had done that sort of thing. I just had a kind of bridget jones image in my head thats all haha. I was just trying to cheer myself up by posting a bit of a silly one instead of all this depressive crap that I usually post.

[Heartonasleave]

2bh, i think it runs through most dumpee's minds. I was in a near 10year relationship, 2 kids and i was dumped for another guy. Its been 4 months now but at the beginning i wanted to waste this guy and it would not be a problem. Thanks to advice i was reading here i held back and i realised in time it would just make the ex feel sorry for the rebound (push them closer together). Thing is, everytime i visit the kids (pick them up at the mother-in-laws....my choice bcos i was trying to avoid the rebound) he's always about lol. Think he thinks the ex is going to be running back to me...sad!

[shortest_straw90]

That is a good point Ive never thought about it like that. You would just make things worse for everyone especially yourself by doing that because like you said she would feel sorry for him. Not to mention that if you were to hit the other guy it would make you look like a complete tool. It must be very tempting though with kids involved.

[Heartonasleave]

That is a good point Ive never thought about it like that. You would just make things worse for everyone especially yourself by doing that because like you said she would feel sorry for him. Not to mention that if you were to hit the other guy it would make you look like a complete tool. It must be very tempting though with kids involved.

 

Very tempting...but with age (me that is comes wisdom. Now i am at a point where the ex is telling her rebound to stay away as i am coming to see the kids (her house)....she has also asked me to stop for tea (pork chops A belly full and some quality time with my kids....bonus!

[Maverick1984]

Doing something like that is only going to further rationalize her decision to break up with you.

 

Personally, being a better person than what she left is a much better thing to do in all honesty.

 

So it's your call.

[Heartonasleave]

Doing something like that is only going to further rationalize her decision to break up with you.

 

Personally, being a better person than what she left is a much better thing to do in all honesty.

 

So it's your call.

 

I would agree with you if it was early on in the break-up but it has been 4 months now and i think im on the right path.

 

1. I have done low contact from the beggining

2. I have NEVER begged or pleaded

3. She has initiated contact (via text) most of the time

4. I ignored allot of text unless it was to do with the children (She has tried been friendly, i ignore..finally she texts about the children bcos she knows i will answer)

5. She rang me (2month mark) said her new relationship wasnt what she thought and i was the better guy. I said her fella was a nice guy and wished them both the best (she told her friends she is in a comitted relationship straight after that lol)

6. 3rd month i went strict no contact through holidays to London, Dominican Republic and Portugal. (they were planned at the start of the BU as i just wanted to get away)

7. Straight after the no contact she said i can take my kids abroad for holiday (she said no at first) and also i can see my kids anytime and she would tell him not to be around (he lives 90 minutes away)

 

Had my heart smashed..but i am much better now (not totally healed). To me this day is good bc i can spend quality time sat down with my children instead of driving them to places (i dont have my own place at the moment) and i live far away from them. But i would agree with you about the meal...that took me by surprise 2bh. This is just a one off for me...after this i will continue to pick my children up at her mums.

 

I think i have done really well and would not want to spoil the path i was on...so if anyone thinks this is a mistake, please let me know.

 

P.S

Sorry for highjacking this thread!

[sidehop]

glad i could amuse you haha.

I wouldnt do it to the guy who i think my ex is going to get with because apparently when she first told him that she was with me he backed off and told her to do whatever made her happy. in my opinion thats the either a guy who knows exactly what a girl wants to hear or a guy who actually cares.

I'll wait it out and see what sort of guy he turns out to be before opening a can of whoop ass lol.

If he hurt her then Id definitely be up for it haha.

 

Still wouldn't be worth it unless she's in imminent danger before your eyes; even then don't get yourself involved in a situation that will land you in jail or have serious consequence for many years to come.

[jimbojTX91]

Just an alternative point of view............

 

I had a girl leave me once for another guy, and I was forced to see them together at a party I didn't think she'd be at.

The guy came up to me broke the ice, shook my hand and said, I know how important you were in her life and how much she respects you as a person and if she loved you so much you must be a pretty fantastic bloke.

 

All of a sudden there were no more enemies, just life changing, people make mistakes but you can choose how you carry yourself and what that guy did turned him from "home wrecker" into a person who I admire.

I'll fully admit others have probably had much worse things done and so forgiveness may not be so easy, but ever since that lesson it seems that every time my brain wants to suck me into a black cloud of hate/pain, all it takes is an open heart and forgiveness to make it all disappear.

I try to remember that it's for me, not for them.. and usually, if I loved the person I honour those feelings by setting them free.

[shortest_straw90]

now thats the sort of thing i was looking for when i posted this, someones experience with this sort of thing. I wasnt actually planning on going to fight this guy for all i know he could be awesome I just wanted to here if anyone had actually experienced anything like it. All this thread was is a way of cheering myself up, people need to realise that and stop taking it so seriously, ive said it ive said it multiple times now.