ButterflyWrists Posted April 5, 2014 Author Share Posted April 5, 2014 The only bonus to getting older - I get to finally do my motorbike license (direct access).. 24 this weekend, first lesson on the super big bike (650cc) on Monday damn! My motorbike is pretty much dead - we broke down going for a ride yesterday... had to get towed home that was terrifying.. At first I couldn't steer, cause the rope went around the forks, not fun especially on corners! managed to sort it out to get me the rest of the way home though.. luckily it was only around 3 miles and I rolled down the hills instead of being stuck to the back of mum haha Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted April 19, 2014 Author Share Posted April 19, 2014 Oooh I've not updated since my lesson.. OK well I had my lesson the day after my birthday (win!) Loved the bike which I did my lesson on, Kawasaki ER6 (650cc).. Sports bike, but not one where you're pretty much laying on the bike. Was nice and easy to ride which is good. My instructor thinks I only need two three hour lessons, one for MOD1 (off road motorbike handling, controlled stops, emergency stops, swerve test etc) and one for my MOD 2 which is on the road.. As I've been riding for over 7 years now, and I have 7 years no claims there shouldn't be any problems, providing my ears cooperate and allow me balance! Got the MOD1 booked for the 30th April, so quite soon. Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted April 19, 2014 Author Share Posted April 19, 2014 I'm frustrated with life at the moment.. again/still... I live in the middle of nowhere, with my mum and brother. I'm in the box room.. Which when I am at home I spend all my time in, because my mum and brother both smoke, in the kitchen (vile!) and living room.. My mum said I can hang in her room, but what the hells the point in that? It's freezing in there.. I have no space in my room.. I have my bed, a makeshift wardrobe, and 3 tiny chest of draw's.. I only have a motorbike here for transport, so when that's broken down I need to get a lift everywhere, which involves paying £10-20 fuel.. As no buses run to my village and it's around a 10 mile walk to the nearest bus stop along roads without a pavement. It also means when I am deaf and have limited balance that I can't ride, which is what I have at the moment. and no one seems to understand just how hard it is. For the past week I've been walking into doors, the edge of the cooker at work and freezer etc.. Same happens at home.. I can barely hear, I should have called in sick on Thursday to work because I couldn't hear and was feeling awful. But because I'm having to pay out so much at the moment I cant afford to. I missed last thursday because I had no transport and my mum and brother were working when I needed to get in. I miss living in the city, I hated it, because it was so light and the sirens going all hours of the day and night. But at least I was never grounded in one place. All my friends are in the city, well most of them. In my village I know no-one. I have one 'local' friend around 20mins from where I live, but our schedules clash and she's 5 years younger than me and we don't really have much in common, we're mainly friends because we've known eachother all her life. My other 'local' friends live around 45min ride from me.. And none of them bother to come and see me. It's always me who has to make an effort to see my friends. I don't mind in the city, because I can see most of them together and there's more to do. I'm lonely here. Working a dead end job, away from the lifestyle I want to be living. I can't get a better job down here without reliable health/transport.. Because if my ears go, I can't ride and cause my mum and bro work also I can't get lifts. I need to pay off my overdraft some before I make the move back to the city, but that's not happening. I had around half of it paid off, then my mum loaned my brother loads of money, which meant I had to give it to her, I'm not gonna see that back. But that took all the money I had saved. I need a new motorbike jacket and a new motorbike. I don't want to get one on finance, because I really don't want to get into more debt. Student debt is fine because it's a life expense and it's an investment. A motorbike isn't. Life has been so tough the last few months. Starting I guess around when my ex friend made that stupid comment! I've been having nightmares, inability to sleep and panic attacks. I guess that may have triggered some of these feelings.. Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted April 24, 2014 Author Share Posted April 24, 2014 Second lesson today test next Wednesday.. So nervous! Gotta leave around 9 to get to where my lesson is, won't take an hour to get there, but I'm pretty useless at remembering how to get there... So excited about this! Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted April 30, 2014 Author Share Posted April 30, 2014 woo MOD 1 for my motorbike license today! So excited! and nervous, didn't sleep amazingly well but all will be good! Will update around 11:30 Also, I have a new job - part time, but it's related to what I want to be doing. I am a carer for one of my closest friends, she has a few mental health issues, which tie in with exactly what I want to be doing. Brilliant news for me, go and sign my contract on Friday which is brilliant oh and the pay is much much better Link to comment
petite Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 How did it go, hun? Hope it went well!! Congratulations on the job, so happy for you! Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted May 1, 2014 Author Share Posted May 1, 2014 Hey, I passed it with one minor so pleased! MOD 2 is on the 15th (which is the on the road stuff Thanks hun Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted May 2, 2014 Author Share Posted May 2, 2014 Signed my contract today and start on Monday which is brilliant! getting paid to hang out with my best friend.. The hours should hopefully go up to 25 at some point too which is awesome Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted May 4, 2014 Author Share Posted May 4, 2014 So glad things are looking up again Job related to what I want to be doing. Potential masters applications to fill in. Going to be working atm, 32.5 hours a week, until I drop my 3.25 hours on a Thursday at the garage then I'll be doing 29.25 hours a week hopefully the thursday evening one will be finished soon, cause then I can do the bike night at a town about an hour ish away from here really cannot wait to get back to that. This new job helps with paying for a new bike and everything so bloody happy things are looking up. I don't have to feel quite so depressed about working at the bloody garage haha Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted May 16, 2014 Author Share Posted May 16, 2014 Sooo.... I passed my Motorbike test just over a year after my last exam of my psychology degree! Now I can ride ANY size bike I want (providing I can hold it upright haha).. Going bike shopping this weekend cannot wait.. May drag my friend with me monday when I am looking after her to look at bikes in town, seeing as I really should get a bike closer to home.. But ooooh I cannot wait to get a new bike! Felt so good snapping off the L plates yesterday Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted May 19, 2014 Author Share Posted May 19, 2014 Ugh waking up cause of nightmares at 4am is not fun! Got a busy week ahead of me. Thankfully one of my coworkers is covering me for switching shifts and skipping a shift. Working at job no 2 tomorrow, which meant switching tomorrows shift at the garage for saturday morning (yuck 6am start!). Not doing my thursday 3 hours, cause I want to go to bike night and potentially buy a new bike and three hours is silly! lol Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted May 25, 2014 Author Share Posted May 25, 2014 I've been working all weekend, and don't have a day off for a while now. Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, (Thursday baby sitting, not sure if working garage or not also), Friday (and night out - uni friends, cant really miss it) Saturday, Sunday, hopefully gonna have monday off. Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted June 8, 2014 Author Share Posted June 8, 2014 So in love with my motorbike! Rode her up to my uni city, she and I handle well with pillion riders, even ones who are a fair amount bigger than me. Top box may have helped with that lol. Really looking forward to our next ride, the next proper one will be upto a seaside town for a festival, where I shall be getting my doctor who tattoo She is so smooth to handle. My brother keeps harassing me to let him ride her, but NO! I don't care that he claims to have rode more bikes than I have, he is an irresponsible twit and my bike means far far too much to me to allow someone like that near her! Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted July 2, 2014 Author Share Posted July 2, 2014 I've gotta stop thinking and doing what is best for other people, and shift my focus back on me. No one else is going to help me reach my goal, I have to do it, and if one job isn't working to get me closer to my goal I will have to change and adapt and find something else. I can't keep faffing around, 24 years old and I don't seem to be going anywhere. Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted July 9, 2014 Author Share Posted July 9, 2014 I haven't posted a picture of my newest tattoo yet.. so here you go It is the tardis with part of the doctor who theme tune wrapping round it It does have meaning for me, not just 'oh I love doctor who so I'll get it tattoo'd to me for life' lol Link to comment
petite Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 Oh Butters it's cool! I'm not into Doctor Who but I do like the tattoo. Hope you've been well babe. Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted August 26, 2014 Author Share Posted August 26, 2014 Hey Petite, thanks, I love the tattoo, and it's meaning to me. I've been up and down really.. Cutting myself off a lot from people, riding the motorbike in between times. I went to a festival early in the month and thats the last time I really socialised with anyone. Anyway, to my good news... I have an interview, for a carers position, for people with autism and such issues. As I currently work as a carer for a lady with fibromyalga (cant spell the word sorry) and anxiety issues, I feel the position would be a good one to take on. It'll also be using my degree. I've been struggling with my job at the petrol station the last couple of weeks. I've taken on an extra shift a week, which is fine, but it is leaving me shattered, and then to go straight from a 6am-1pm shift to my job as a carer for 5+hrs is draining. I've also been underpaid by 10hrs45mins at the petrol station. So I am fuming even more so. Because I am the only one putting forth the effort to gain nothing. It gives me nothing towards my degree and future education because many of the skills are irrelevant for psychologists (money handling and customer service. The only skill here that is really transferable are challenging situations). Anyway, fingers crossed for this interview next Thursday Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted September 6, 2014 Author Share Posted September 6, 2014 On holiday with my best friend... And I feel like a mannequin D: make up and dresses haha. I'll post a pic when I'm on my laptop Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted October 7, 2014 Author Share Posted October 7, 2014 I still haven't posted a picture.. I shall correct this... link removed picture wont work grr. Anyway yep, eyelash extensions and my eyebrows done.. xD Life is looking up now.. Got a new job, no start date as yet, but I'm going to be using my degree. So I am feeling happier again at last Link to comment
Seraphim Posted October 8, 2014 Share Posted October 8, 2014 Hey Butters!! Awesome to see you. You look lovely! I'm so glad you're happy. Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted November 9, 2014 Author Share Posted November 9, 2014 Well... It's been around a month since I last updated this. So much has been going on. Good and bad, mainly good. Started my new job on the 27th October, still in training for a little over a week then should be starting my shadow shifts. It's chaotic and so much to learn, but I'm enjoying the learning experience, practical learning, of skills I will be using, not just book learning thankfully! Just before I started my new job I had a blow out on my front tyre on the motorbike.. Kinda scary, luckily I didn't have an accident and was able to roll onto someones drive way, so scary though! Put me back by nearly £300 cause I needed two new tyres! Ouch lol. All that while being unemployed. Then around a week later I had a screw in my rear tyre, nightmare again. Luckily I've been able to save the tyre, seeing as it's brand new. But again scary as I was over an hour away from home when that one happened and had to ride home with the bloody thing in my tyre. Home life is pretty up and down atm, frustrated to still be living with my mum and brother.. But I can save money to sort myself out. I just, I need my own space. I live in my teeny tiny bedroom. I can't go anywhere else in the house cause both my mum and brother smoke and I cant stand it. and they smoke in the kitchen and living room which is vile but hey, mums house I can't do anything about it. But being stuck in the box room sucks, single bed, and no space for myself, I don't have room for a desk, so stuck sat on my bed. My mum wonders why I am constantly off out to my university city and staying with friends every chance I get. I have no friends in the local area which gets me down, but I don't really have the energy to get out and meet new people.. It isn't so bad when meeting other bikers Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted December 8, 2014 Author Share Posted December 8, 2014 Life is really good right now! Better than it has been since uni.. I am really happy and enjoying my new job... Had a couple of challenging episodes, but I coped and all went well after. Feeling positive and happy again. So glad that I did get my application form in for the job I'm now doing, instead of letting depression rule me into thinking all I could do was work a dead end job at that petrol station. It was a good experience, but I should have left much sooner than I did. Can't change the past and it hasn't had a lasting negative effect on me. Also, I can fit into size 10 jeans and size 8 top (uk sizes) makes me happy.. I've got lots of new kit for the bike, new crash helmet, much needed as the old one was too big, this new one has built in sunglasses type things, so if I'm riding a long way and its getting dark I don't have to stop to take off sunglasses, just press a button and they go away I got heated grips at last for the bike, it's freezing riding at night now, so the heated grips are necessary. Also new boots, wearing doc martens isn't that great in the winter, as theres no lining to help keep feet warm haha. Link to comment
blueidealist24 Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Glad to hear you got a new job.. what is it that you're doing now? Link to comment
Seraphim Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Good for you honey I knew you could do it!!! I had every faith in you. Link to comment
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