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Uni goings on else there will be a LOT of threads...


ButterflyWrists

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Thank you hope you are well and that little one arrives soon! xx

 

Just thought of a tattoo idea, then dismissed it - harry potter timeturner with the tardis.. Dismissed due to - I no longer feel the need to turn back time, nor do I wish to see my future.. Regeneration is a possibility still, as I've grown and changed from who I was at each turn.. I've changed loads during the last 5 years, and I am still changing and growing.

 

Right now, there is nothing in my life I would change, nothing in my past I would change either, yes it was hard to live through, I didn't really live, I just existed, but it has shaped me as a person - taught me many things I would not, and could never have known and this gives me a great bearing for where I believe I belong in life.

 

Feeling pretty positive..

 

and physically - I have whiplash - self inflicted, wasn't in an accident - too much headbanging and pole dancing and moshing haha!

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I hope so too, I'll get anti biotics tomorrow.

 

Today needs to be over. Like NOW!

Being yelled at by my brother cause the note he put in the door has gone is not my damn fault! and its not my fault that I can NOT hear the damn door! I have a HEARING IMPAIRMENT MADE WORSE BY MY DAMN INFECTION. YOU DON'T HAVE WORK AT THE MOMENT SO YOU ING STAY IN AND WAIT FOR IT!!!!!

 

ARGHHH!

 

can I go back to sleep yet?

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So, the end of the chapter..

I spoke to my ex the one who I've had so many issues with.. was polite, so it was quite nice haha.. Not many people who I know were there, but that's because most people graduated in July.. I did see two of my friends though and got some pictures with them.

My brother was unable to make it, but it's ok had a fantastic day regardless... I loved every moment of it! I have the DVD of the ceremony cause ma couldn't get a pic of me on the stage, I'll screen shot it and put a picture up possibly, as long as my uni's name isn't visible lol.. ya'know privacy and all that xD..

 

It all feels so surreal..

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So... Professor David Nutt ex chairman of the government drugs committee posted a link on fb about a free online course about addiction..

I didn't take the addiction module at university, so I feel like this would be a great thing for me to do in the mean time..

 

Anyway, here's a link if anyones interested

 

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Getting fed up with my brother..

I know he's suffering from depression.. But really, not going to work cause you cant be bothered? I'm ill and in pain, getting hardly any sleep and being brought to tears cause my ears hurt that much.. Have to deal with customers, which some I cant hear! bah I can't just call in sick cause no one can cover for me really. And beside I need money, some ones gotta help mum out with bills..

 

 

Stupid ear meant I slept very little last night need some anti biotics

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I'm feeling torn in what direction to go now... I know I need to go back to university, but I don't particularly want to do mental health nursing... Not sure how I can 'pull' my current results up to prove I can handle a masters, not even sure I can tbh..

I want to get my life on track, get a good career, which involves more education... No longer 100% sure I want to be a sleep psych, but doing neuro or clinical psych would give me many avenues. But those courses are extremely popular and most uni's only offer 20 places, and you HAVE to have a 2.1 AND some sort of experience.. I have neither right now. I need to get experience. No idea what to do with my life.

I also have stupid ears still, last year I had an operation to attempt to fix my ears, but it hasn't worked. I've at current got an ear infection which I've had for a month and it's not budging. Gotta start paying for my prescriptions, which I really cant afford on my minimum wage part time job. But I can't get a full time job because of my ears, my job I work 2 days a week, so I can force myself to work with an ear infection, knowing that I've got a day or two off in between where I can keep my ear warm and dry and do not a lot.. It's difficult, there are times where I cant hear customers very well.

 

I wish I knew what to do.. If I still have these issues doing a masters I've no idea how I will cope. Uni I ended up missing loads off due to ear infections, I went from Feburary-July/August without a break from ear infections, some of the months I was on two or three different anti-biotics at the same time.. .How can I go through that while studying for a masters? Lecture time isn't much, but the course work and private study is! When I've got a really bad infection I can't use the computer because I get headaches, I cant concentrate and I am unable to sleep because the damn things wake me up.

I'm hardly on the computer these days because it hurts my head so much, and that's just for checking emails, courses and jobs/volunteering opportunities.. Imagine if I was doing a research paper. I know how difficult it was. I had help with the aspects which gave me a headache anyway, the stats, but for a masters I would have to do it myself.

 

Another thing, the mental health nursing involves hospital work periods (amongst others), where I would have a higher chance of picking up illnesses. Every cold I get, my ear gets infected, sore throat, ear... It's absolute hell.

 

Can I have some new ears for christmas please?

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