I really need someones opinion!

[ally91011]

So I am pretty sure someone has had this problem before, but I figured the best way to get a direct answer is to ask directly for opinions. The whole ordeal is a bit long, so please bare with reading this.

 

I've known this guy since middle school. Back then my best friend was in love with him, and my loyalty to her actually caused me to not like him very much. He never broke her heart, but he also didn't noticed that she had feelings for him. Mind you it was childish of me at the time to thinkhe could possibly know, but hey it was middle school.

 

All through high school I pretty much ignored him. I was one of those invisible girls who really wasn't interested in having friends. He was the jock that seemed to always be surrounded by girls. I guess towards the end of our school years he got irritated with me ignoring him and not falling for him charm that he forced himself in my presence. Eventually his little antics of always sitting on top of my desk or moving my chair to be beside him got him what he wanted, and we became friends. I was attracted to him and liked him in high school, but I knew it was a bad idea to probably get involved so I stayed clear of that.

 

Even after high school he would show up at my job after so many months mad at me because I never texted him that I was still alive and well. I always found it amusing, and would text him right after he left that I was alive, then went back to ignoring him till he showed up again.

 

Recently we started hanging out and getting closer. It was innocent things of course, he dubbed himself my guardian angel which would cause little bicker moments about how he couldn't possibly be that and what not. He's known that I've never really dated, and because of that I'm actually not big of physical contact. He decided to take it upon himself to be my "teacher" on getting used to people touching me. He would put me in his lap and hug on me, just small things. Eventually he started slipping his hand under my shirt and resting them on my stomach, claiming he liked the feel of skin better. I eventually just got used to it.

 

The part that I feel bad now about, is he's had a girlfriend this whole time. They've been together on and off for about 3 years.

 

Him and I got a little to close on one of our recent hang out visits. I should have never let him that close to me, and I know that after we thought about what we had done he was really upset with himself. Even with how he acts towards me, I've known him for a long time and he's actually a good guy who is very loyal. He doesn't mess around with people like this when he's with someone in a relationship. He wouldn't talk to me about it at first, and I thought he was mad at me, but we actuaully have been joking and have pretty much gone back to normal. He keeps making me think he likes me. He knows I like him, but he has off-handedly mention that he's able to resist the attraction he has for me.

 

Have I confused him, or just gotten myself into a pretty messed up situation? He's still with her, and I know that he's loyal to her(minus what happened with us). So where does this place me? I asked him what would be the smart idea with us right now, and he told me I had a choice. I could drop communication like I've done before or I could just take it as it goes and see where it goes. I told him I'm not dropping communication, and he was ok with my decision. I don't think he wanted me to cut contact.

 

So what am I to do now? I know she makes him happy, so where does this place me? Am I probably holding onto a situation I should try to move on from? I'm not really sure what's going on anymore, there's so many mixed signals I'm going crazy.

[Voguester]

How can he be loyal...EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT HE WAS WITH YOU? I don't get that at all, there are NO exceptions and if I were his girlfriend than I'd be really upset. Has he actually made advances towards you and in what way did you get too close? there are facts to this story which haven't been mentioned.

I think it's pretty obvious from what you have told us that he's playing you, he knows you haven't had much experience with other guys or being in relationships. He wants the best of both worlds and if I were you I would drop him, he's no good for you. It's hard because you obviously have feelings for him but trust me, nothing positive can come from this, he isn't willing to break up with his girlfriend for you

[Guitarguy_82]

Agreed. Some guys get what they can get just for "fun" sometimes. Not saying that this friend of yours is like that, but the fact that he's essentially sneaking around his girlfriend's back raises some red-flags. Big time. Time to cut the strings and move on to a HEALTHY relationship, should you choose so.