Need urgent advice dont know what to do

[Casperlady]

Ok a bit of background info, 3 weeks ago I went out for night with a girl im used to be friends with, on the night I seen a guy my friend was talking to i thought he was cute but didn't say anything to anyone cause there was a girl wit him who I assumed was his gf. Anyway his friend got my friends number and rang my friend off his phone.So the next day he texts my friend asking bout me. My friend gave him my number and we started texting then went on few dates got on really well and he asked me to be his gf. So we are together 2 weeks and today I got a job in England which means ill probably be moving in January. I texted him to tell him and while he was happy for me he seemed not himself then he couldnt reply and about 2 hrs later said he was going to bed and didn't leave xxx as he normally does so I knew he was annoyed. Then he text saying we shud break up since I was going to UK. I said I didn't want to as I was hoping we cud work something out. He then said he didn't know if he cud do that and then said ya that he would do longdistance as I I am now asking him to take the time to really think about wat it would mean, I realise now that though I like him it might be best for him if I let him go now when we are just getting to know each other, but I dont want to lose a potentially good thing either. I said to him I want him to way up the pros and cons and really think about it cause I dont want him getting hurt or going into it blindly. Am I doing the right thing, he seems to thing I just want to end things, I just dont know what to do. All I know is I spent 6 years trying to get my nurses degree it was very hard and honest I can get a worthwhile career is to leave Ireland. I like him and I dont want to hurt him I just want to do what is best for him and me. Please help

[jakdax]

I'm in an ldr at the moment. its been a month and a half so far, out of a 10 month relationship as gf and bf. But we've been friends for years. It s hard . My girlfriend and my biggest problem is we didn't set out guidelines. I'm not talking bout cing other people btw thats a a no no as far as I'm concerned and she feels the same. But the amount of times you see each other is exteremly important. i visited my girlfriend a week after she left and it was grand till I d to go home. She s in uk as well. But because of when I'd to come home and because it was so hard for her she doesn't want me to go over and see her there anymore. i ve to wait for her here at home now. Which I'm not happy about tbh. So my advise is if you do decide ldr be clear going in dont wing it !! It was foolish of us to think everything would be grand. It s been a hard month. Still I'm not giving up. I love her and she s worth it !

 

ps. hope that helps and best of luk with the job in these times it s hard to get work

[offplanet]

You only met him 3 weeks ago. He's expressed reluctance about doing long distance. You two are not yet deeply involved. You yourself are able to choose to leave him now, ie. you are not desperately dependent on him yet. Therefore IMO, given the heartache and frustration of being long distance from each other if you did fall in love, it'd be better to make the break now, and let each other move on to someone else. On the other hand, if you both find that you're desperately in love and can't bear to break up, then reconsider.

[Casperlady]

Thanks, I know ldr is going to be hard and we arent at the I love you stage yet, or at least im not, we are already doing a ldr in a way as we dont live near eachother so only get to see eachother twice a week and it is a big decision to make so early on and I dont want him to get hurt and I dont want to get hurt either. I texted him last nite saying we need to have a face face talk as all this happened via text maybe then we can decide or at least I can whether it is better and kinder on him to.let him go because I dont think he has really thought about wat it might be like only being able to see eachother once a month at least

[Casperlady]

Just an update, we talked, it was all a missunderstandin, he is thrilled for me movin, he will come visit every month as he lives 10 mins from airport, he said who knows down the line he may even move over there too. he says he would wait for me anyway. he gave me his cladagh ring to wear too. he also said he couldnt believe it would end like tat after it was by such chance tat we got together